my gram died...i need advice...?

Question

ok, my great gram died friday morning about the time i was getting ready for school. can anybody give me any ideas to do so i can get my mind off of her?

Answer 1

maybe you shouldn't keep your mind off her, but realize that every person has to go through this and unfortunately your turn came up. this is just one of those tests in life that you need to meet face to face. it will make you stronger in the end.

Answer 2

Oh my sincere condolences of your loss of your Great Gram.

I suspect you are in the process of grieving for her and if this is the first family member you have lost it may be a new and powerful feeling for you.

I would like to tell you this is very normal as you struggle with the fact that she is gone and also the fact that you yourself will have to face this oneday.

You sound like you are in denial as you want to block it out.

There are very specific stages for grieving and loss and we can pass through them in 5 minutes or 5 years depending on the attachment we may have to the person or situation.

Here they are the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance;

Death and dying, bereavement counselling if appropriate.

I am wondering if you have had a chance to express your loss and grief. Did you attend the funeral at all? Has there been a family rememberance service if you could not go?

If you want to do your own service, write down on slips of
paper things you know or would want her to know and put them in a balloon. Now add some sand or a stone into the balloon and through out to sea or the river and let it go. Watch it go and think of your Great Gram. This is a form of letting go and may let your mind relax a little. The stone will weight the balloon to stay on current of the water and not be swept away by the wind.

Also request something small of hers that you can keep as a keepsake and of course keep a photo of her nearby if she was very special to you.

I think you will be ok. If your grief does not settle soon seek out a grief counsellor please.

I have also included a site that explains the grief process for you.

Sending prayers your way J

Answer 3

First of all, I'm sorry about your gram. My grandmother is in hospital tonight, she had an operation today and we thought maybe she wouldn't make it, so I really feel for you :-(

I have lost people before, that I loved, and it's impossible really to get your mind off them.

One thing that really helps is to find someone else that loved that person too, and see if the two of you can talk about your dearly loved gram, remembering all the fun, love and time you shared with her, and have a really good cry.

The more you cry, the quicker you will heal. This is an absolute true fact.

You will never really forget your gram, but in time the place that aches will sort of heal up and you will be able to remember her in a more ordinary way.

The best thing to keep in mind, love never dies.

Best wishes to you and your family right now.

Answer 4

I'm sorry for your loss, it's always upsetting when someone close to us dies and as the first answerer says, try to remember the good times that you had together.

This is a poem that someone on the internet sent to me when my mother passed away a few years ago...

When somebody dies,
a cloud turns into an angel,
and flies up to tell God
to put another flower on a pillow.
A bird gives the message back to
the world,
and sings a silent prayer
that makes the rain cry.
People disappear,
but they never really go away.
The spirits up there put the sun to bed,
wake up grass,
and spin the
earth in dizzy circles.
Sometimes you
can see them dancing in a cloud during
the day-time,
when they're supposed
to be sleeping.
They paint the rain-bows
and also the sunsets and
make waves splash and
tug at the tide.
They toss shooting stars and
listen to wishes.
And when they sing wind-songs,
they whisper to us,
don't miss me too much.
The view is nice
and I'm doing just fine.

Answer 5

It is all about the healing process. If you didn't think about her and grieve then it would haunt you in the future. It is very healthy to grieve over someone that was very close to you.
My advice: if, let's say months from now, you are still thinking about her constantly, then I would seek advice from a professional -- like a counselor.
I lost my aunt when I was 16 and it took me a few months before I could move on.
Best of luck.

Answer 6

Oh, I'm sorry to hear this. It's always a shock to lose someone you love ....

You have some good friends? Spend a little time with them. But also, other members of your family are going to be grieving, it would be good if you could be there for them also. Share the comfort.

Answer 7

Dont fight it. It'll only intensify and hit you like a boulder later.

Think of all the time you had with her and, if you have a religion, pray for her. If you need to cry or vent. Now is the time. It doesnt go away but I can promise it gets easier with time.

If you'd like, I'll pray for both you and your Gram.

Answer 8

I am heartfully sorry to hear of your loss, I have lost both my grandparents, and both my brother and sister. I believe that the sadness does soften, The fact that death is inevitable is a hard realization, and quite honestly you need to learn to share the love that you have for them, and remember to always keep her with you in your heart. It is not easy. Most any local hospital can direct you to grief counselors, They really can help quite a bit.

Answer 9

well if your gram died have a family reunion or some thing go to your grandads house. Just remember people have to die.

Answer 10

my gran died two weeks ago and i still cant take my mind off her. you will never get over the pain its causing u all u can do is except it and you will be able to deal with it. it will take time but will do it