I've been telling my Dad about my exgirlfriend and he says get a girl to make her jealous?

Question

About 3months ago I saw my Dad for the second time in my living memory as my Mum and him split up when I was very young. Now I was telling my Dad about my exgirlfriend and he had the same problem with his girlfriend and she dumped him because she thought my Dad was too old for her(my Dad's 36 and his girlfriend's 17, which is a little weird because she could be my older sister at that age, although I don't have an older sister) so my Dad got a new girlfriend to make her jealous and then they got back together and they haven't had a problem since and he said I should do this with my exgirlfriend, Charley because we split up for the same reason 6months ago only our age difference is a lot smaller(I'm 15 and she's 12) and we've had this problem twice as Charley kept changing her mind and we went out twice and I got dumped twice but we're still bestfriends even though I haven't got over her. Now I do get what my Dad's saying but I don't want to go out with someone just to get Charley back because that would be using the other girl and I don't like using peopleand that would make me look like a bad person which I not and I don't know whether to do what my Dad says or just wait until Charley can get over our age gap.
What should I do, do what my Dad says or carry on with what I'm doing at the moment?

I live in the UK, your of age at 16 and can have sex with older people by 17, so my Dad isn't dating an underage girl.

My Dad's actually doing better then my step Dad, my step Dad's refusing to pay to look after my sisters who are his daughters and said to ask my Dad for the money when they're not even my Dad's responsibility whereas my Dad's started paying for my bringing up and is visting me quite alot now unlike my step Dad who doesn't give a **** anymore. My Mum's spliup with him a couple of months back.

Answer 1

DON'T DO IT!

All you'll end up doing is breaking the poor girl's heart when she learns you've been using her.

If you seriously think this is a good idea, perhaps you should stay out of relationships. You should never use another human being like that.

Answer 2

I think she probably would get jealous, but is that really what you want? Don't you deserve to be with someone because they actually want to be with you, not because they do not want anyone else to have you, while they have their pick of who they want? Please, do not get into playing these games, you are far too mature and sensitive to enjoy this kind of thing, and I think part of you would feel bad for using the poor girl as bait to make Charley jealous. It isn't fair on any of you, just accept that you and Charley did not work, and that if you have not got back together by now, you probably are not going to. She seems to value you as a good friend, and likes having your attention as it validates her, she feels she is desirable if you are always around confessing to anyone who will listen that you fancy her. It boosts her ego. I do think you should go out with other girls, but do so because you want to and you like them, not to see what effect it will have on Charley. I also think that she is likely to up the game if you use the old jealousy trick (girls can often see right through it) as she is a bit of a game player anyway, she may well start to go further with her boyfriend, or get a new one, or start really laying it on heavily in front of you. Who needs the hassle. Get yourself a girl, and stuff what effect it has on Charley. You have had to sit by and watche as she goes out with then dumps about five different guys.

Answer 3

Firstly, I think your dad has serious problems if he is 36 and dating a 17 year old. One might say that he is taking advantage of this girl and I daresay, that he will influence her relationships forever on because of her mistake in getting involved with him at such a young age. Therefore, don't listen to his advice because I do not think that it is coming from a place of real concern for you.

Secondly, both you and your girlfriend are very young and quite simply, there should be no pressure to be in a committed relationship at either 12 or 15. This is not much of an age gap once the girl reaches 18, prior to that, yes, it is.

You are right in not wanting to 'use' someone to get at someone else. Be patient and enjoy life for in years to come, you will definitely look back at this period and laugh at yourself for all your seriousness. Don't do anything.

Answer 4

You're very young - you should try to get over it and move on as opposed to using people to get what you think you want. You should be looking for girls your own age to date, as well... not 12 year olds. I realize you're in a different country, but that seems a little weird. I understand the physical age gap is only 3 years, but there is a HUGE difference between 12 and 15, no matter where you're from.

Answer 5

wtf? I'm 18 and i almost dated a 37 year old. that is like ME dating your DAD! haha! thats kinda funny. anyway, your dad is right. The only way to get over Charley or at least win her back is to show her that you arent gonna wait around forever and you ARE WORTH falling in love with somebody. You deserve to be happy and not feel like a failure because one girl doesnt want you. You should tell her those exact words. Or just find another girl and let the explaining do itsself.

Answer 6

i understand you're a troll, yet i bypass to respond to this besides... those women at the instant are not jealous of you. the priority is which you're rather insulting. stop giving them handouts and attempting to 'coach' them what they could be doing. in assessment to you, they have found out that there are greater significant issues in existence than having a warm physique (in reality, each and every thing else in existence is greater significant than that). And by way of the way, "daddy" isn't doing you any favors by way of mendacity to you approximately what's taking place right here, or is he as smug and shallow as you're? if so, the two one in each and every of you need to benefit some adulthood.

Answer 7

i think maybe you shouldn't listen to your dad since from what you say you barely even know him. also someone who's almost 40 and dates underage girls (which is illegal by the way) isn't the best person to follow in relationships.
and yes, that would be using the other girl and you're a good person for not wanting that. you actually sound like you have it more together than your dad does even though you're only 15.

Answer 8

give Charley time to grow up, if you love her that much wait a year or two, go out and enjoy life, Charley will come back to you eventually if it is true love * Unless you tell the other girl you want her to try and make Charley jealous, don't do it, don't use her*

Answer 9

Based on what you've written, I should say, frankly, that your dad is not someone well placed to give advice on relationships. A relationship founded on a mix of jealousy and manipulation has no future.

Your own instinct is good, and ought to be a lesson to your dad, not the other way about.

Answer 10

I think ur too young to be playing these mind games with ppl. Why is it so important to have this girl in your life when there are so many others in the world. Dont listen to ur dad, hes not giving good advice. Just live ur life and if a girl comes your way embrace it. If not dont sweat it.