Why do christians use inappropriate phrases?

Question

When my cousin recently lost her unborn twins in late pregnancy,many of my family(christian) tried to comfort her with the words "everything happens for a reason" or "it was god's will".Would anyone be so kind as to explain the possible reasons for god to decide this was necessary.

Assuming for one moment that he does exist that is.

Cindy,Blessed - having been in the same situation three years ago myself(not twins though) twice,I can wholeheartedly say that those words are not comforting.In fact they are somewhat sickening to hear.To be told that you are experiencing a loss so painful due to a "reason" that is determined by a supposedly almighty and loving god is far from comforting.

junjun-wtf?No,I did not say to her"ah well,thats life".As I said having been through it,words like that are not helpful."If you can't think of anything useful to say,don't say anything".

Imp - the feeling is mutual.

Answer 1

Bad things happen to good people, been there, right were your cousin is, not me alone, my wife and I...
Odd thing is, the same people who claim your suffering is "For a reason" (from a god?) claim that the price of suffering for sin has been PAID IN FULL at Calvary... I guess there were some late fees or interest not accounted for at Calvary...

Angel, are you saying that the "God of creation" isn't in charge of nature?

Simplistic mindset tells us that if something goes bad, Its the devil's fault, your fault for sinning, or "God works in mysterious ways". if something goes right, "Praise God" God is so good to us....blah blah

Answer 2

Because some fools are brainwashed with the bible at such a young age, and are told it is the answer to all problems. They are encouraged to stop thinking, and to put all their hopes and fears into the hands of a few guiding hands who will help them - after they have polished up the collection plate.

Not all religions are bad, and there is a lot of good advice and wisdom within the Bible. But when you present the horrible reality of what happen to your cousin - to a person who has not tried to use their mind to objectively reason with, - they will do one of two things.

Faced with a situation for which they have no answer, they will simply apologise and comment on how dreadful it is, or worse still, if blessed with true ignorance, they will remove any doubt in your head, and prove it by making such a comment.

You and I would not find comfort in such words, because we are not living in a world confined by the paper lined corridor of the gospels. Moreover, we do not think that this life is in preparation of some thing better in a heaven. Without this level of brain washing, such phrases thus come over as hollow and somewhat cold.

But for the members of your family who uttered such words, you should feel pity, for they obviously imagine that they would take comfort in such words, and have not the mental capacity to understand your cousins utter grief.

Answer 3

That's what they were taught to believe, and some may find comfort in allowing that to be their truth. But I agree with you that those beliefs shouldn't be imposed on others, and that the reasons are probably more along the lines of incompatible genes or some other glitch in nature or from the tampering with nature. I do believe that life was created by a higher power in whatever name it can be called, but I doubt precious life is ever lost for some better or divine reason because it's an awful thing.

Answer 4

She is twenty 3?i presumed we were speaking about a infant lower than ten I had to bypass lower back to the right to envision.How pathetic she ought to wish to get you going and is conscious your husband gained't say an issue.i might want to easily say except your husband will talk up and kind it out such as his sister think about to distance your self from her till he does.don't be walked throughout face as a lot as her at the same time or issues will not in any respect replace.It gained't be counted what you're saying in basic terms your husbands opinion probable concerns to her so he needs to be the only to have a note no be counted how frustrating this is he would not could be propose basically worry-free.

Answer 5

It is not about God at all. It is about comforting the person who is in pain and doesn't understand why this is happening to her. Neither do we. So, we use politically correct phrases to soothe the person. Many people, not just Christians, believe in the adage that everything does happen for a reason. This poor person needs to make sense out of a tragic event. God's will implies that her children are with God and that goes a long way with some mothers.

Answer 6

I agree with Dallas...you have just taken the words out of my mouth.....
God does not decide to take away children, nature does this for many reasons and nature can be so cruel....
As a Christain myself people look to you for an explanation as if we should have one. But we dont know the mind of God, so we come up with expressions that we think might help. I personally would not have used either of the above phrases but something like...."Your little ones are now in God's Kingdom and are being taken care of."
It is not that easy to give comfort to greiving Parents, they want answers, they are angry and sad and you have to choose your words of comfort carefully. Sometimes this comes out all wrong.
Please dont think that this is God's will, Our God is a loving God, He feels our pain and wipes away our tears......
Some very sad things happen to some very lovely people, its very hard to accept all that comes to us, these are the times that our faith will help us...and this is not a test just a fact of life. If your cousin is surrounded by family no doubt they will be supported through prayer and love, and they will get through it one day at a time.
I send prayers of comfort to your family...xx

Answer 7

It is common knowledge that we are destined to live a certain amountof time here on earth be it 3sec or 100yrs. We have all heard of the big book in heaven that it is written when we are born and when we will die. I think some people believe myself included that stuff be it good or bad happens with a higher power being involved.

Saying something happens for a reason is a person belief that everything occurs for another reason entirely.

It really has nothing to do what we humans do everything has its own destined outcome.

Answer 8

Only God knows. Besides, God or no God, the human form is fragile. You with no God are just as prone to injury as those with a God. If you die at birth or die at 100, you're just as dead and all the life you lived or didn't live matters nothing. How can you miss that which you never knew anyhow? Who in reality is the lucky one? The one who died in the womb or those who live to a hundred? If you believe in the after life, what ocurrs now will NOT be remembered by you after death. If you do not believe in the after life, who cares anyway? This life will not be remembered nor of any use after death. Might as well just get it over with. Maybe this is God's plan?

Answer 9

Assume for a moment that this were true. Does not this thinking justify criminal actions? What was God's will for the millions killed by Hitler, Stalin, Pol-Pot and the 30 million or so native Americans killed by the US gov't in its fulfillment of "manifest destiny"? It's just another senseless platitude which, as Goebbles (you know, Hitler's propaganda minister) said: "If a lie is repeated often enough, it becomes the truth".

Answer 10

It was nothing to do with god. It was pure bad luck and I'm sorry for your cousin. People who feel that these phrases are OK in my opinion, are stupid, it's not like it was just a mishap of some kind. It's not just Christians who say silly things, it's a universal trait because people don't know what to say, to put a religious front on anything is plain dumb.

Answer 11

When I lost my baby,I did believe that things happened for a reason, eg it could have been born disabled etc, and perhaps it was God's will so it would have less impact on my existing family. Maybe God had plans for my family in other ways I don't know or understand, perhaps it is just a question of faith and how deep it is.