Gently Correcting Someone When They Are Using The Wrong Word?

Question

I run into this a lot. I will be speaking with someone, and they will repeatedly use the wrong word for something while they speak. Usually it's two words which sound a lot alike. For example, I was talking to a woman once and she was telling me that balaclava (yes, the head covering of choice for bank robbers) is one of her favorite desserts, and that she likes to go to Greek or Middle Eastern restaurants which serve it. Obviously, she was talking about baklava, the layered pastry. She kept going on about it after she found out my mother knows how to make it.

In trying to help her get the right word, I kept repeating "baklava" back to her, each time more slowly, but she just wasn't getting the signal. In all honesty, my main concern was that she learn the correct word because the next person to hear her mistake might make fun and hurt her feelings.

What is your gentle technique for dealing with similar situations? I don't want to sound like a know-it-all, but I want to help.

Glenghis:
Let's make a deal. You ignore my quirk of capitalizing everything, and I will ignore your quirk of leaving words out of your answers, okay ;)

Mister:
She found out I am half Arab, and was asking what kinds of things they serve for dessert in the Middle East. Either that, or we were talking about the benefits of robbing banks with pastries on your head as a disguise. You pick the one you like best.

Answer 1

Your use of the correct pronunciation or word in your response is the best method. But, as you found out, it doesn't always work. If you push any further, you run the risk of offending, and that would be rude. Either the person "gets" it, or doesn't. We can only do so much.

Answer 2

Personally I find it a little rude if someone corrects me on a word I said. After all, I'm trying to have communication with the person, and when they correct me, I feel like they've been listening to the form of what I said but not the content. I feel like I wasn't heard. In the case of the baklava example that you gave us, you truly understood what the woman was saying, so communication was not impeded by her vocabulary choice.

So, in general, I would say that it's best not to correct in situations like this. If there is a situation where you truly do not understand the person, then you can ask a question like, "I'm sorry; I'm not quite following. What did you say?"

I appreciate your motives about not wanting the person to get laughed at. The good news is that baklava doesn't come up in conversation for me every day. :)

Answer 3

stable question, and you have many stable solutions already. I very almost did no longer answer, fairly considering the fact which you particular which you have been speaking approximately while human beings have been employing greater desirable or greater complicated words. yet, as a wide-unfold rule i could think of two times approximately correcting an person except i understand them nicely sufficient to appreciate their situations. the clarification for this is that many individuals adults have began springing up subjects with our ideas which at the instant are not exciting in any respect. i'm seeing a doctor this year for my reminiscence. they have made some advancements for me, yet no longer all that plenty. incorrect words come out of my mouth very very commonly. i think of i'm asserting one ingredient, pay attention myself asserting that very ingredient, and yet everybody else hears something thoroughly different. besides the shown fact that i'm very open to correction, if one hears that they reported the incorrect observe repeatedly lower back, this is extremely discouraging. So, no remember if this is somebody you're on the brink of, by way of all potential maximum awesome them in a advantageous way. yet i would not sense forced to maximum awesome every person you do no longer understand nicely. save the corrections for issues that are significant. and then, we could continually all be open to listening to the correction.

Answer 4

I have been using a word incorrectly for my entire life and no one ever told me!

My close friend at work just told me recently and then I asked my family, friends and in-laws if they had ever noticed I used the word the wrong way. They all said YES! I was mortified and asked them why they had never told me in all these years.

I also asked if I used any other words incorrectly that they had noticed and they said no, thank God.

I would hope a good friend or family member would tell me. I think you should just tell them with a smile, in a funny, comical way. Don't be serious about it or be too smarty smart. Just make it a little joke.

Answer 5

I have many friends who repeatedly use a word in a wrong context, from my experience best way to gently handle this without offending her would be to just to feign the mistake yourself and say 'balaclava, oops I mean baklava. yeah baklava because balaclava is that headdress isn't it?' just be a little humorous about the mistake you made yourself and be casual about it all.

this is usually the way i do it. hope that helps

in future, if this annoys you, as soon as you detect it just tell her something along the lines of 'oh i think you mean (this word)' politely. hope that helps

Answer 6

Baklava is SOOO yummy!!
My Greek aunt makes it and swears her recipe is a family secret!!
My technique for dealing with what you have described would be something like "oh you mean baklava the dessert...oh yea ...blah..blah..blah!!
After that if she continued to butcher it, I would just let it go...life is short...lets make it as painless and SWEET as possible!

Answer 7

the next time she mentions the word, ask her if she mean baklava (the food) and say it slowly or if possible you spell it for her in a nice way. you can also tell her what the other word means. wishing you all the best.

Answer 8

as stated, it's nor your place to correct people's language, unless it's your JOB as a parent or teacher.
if you totally have to do it because otherwise you'll lose sleep and have nighmares of somoene stuffling a woollen hat into her mouth, you could say... "are you sure it's not baklawa, i thought balaklava was that funny ski hat..."
when you do that, make sure you're alone with said person and that your relationship with him/her is such that allows you to to into her private affairs.
even then, dont overdo it. one word per conversation will be more than enough. otherwise your friends will start treating you as the verbal police and shun you.
and i know i didn't use capitals.

Answer 9

One NEVER corrects someone else's pronounciation of a word, unless you are married to them or are their parent or teacher (and even then, you do it in private, tactfully.) The only way to communicate the correct pronounciation of a word is to use it yourself and pronouce it correctly, like you did. (She probably thought YOU were saying it incorrectly!)

Absolve yourself of the need to make the world perfect -- it takes a lot of pressure off of you!

Answer 10

Someone I knew kept saying the phrase "for all intensive purposes" when she spoke. There was no way to correct her gently but to say:

"The phrase you're trying to say is 'intents and purposes,' not 'intensive purposes.'" And after that she wasn't comfortable speaking around me because I came off like a jerk. But that's the risk you take when you correct someone. Most people don't like to be shown that they are wrong, especially when it comes to speech because it implies that they are un-educated.