i know it is common for the bride to ask her best friend or sister, but the problem is I don't know which one to choose! i want to ask my best friend to be my MOH because we are really close and she supported me from my first boyfriend to my engagment. but obviously i love my sister and my family believes in 'family first' so i know she'd be upset if i didn't ask her. how bad would it be if I asked my best friend?
2007-12-02 19:17:31 · 22 answers · asked by hopefully 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I was in the very same place as you, having a sister and a best friend that I am very close with. My solution was to ask them both. My best friend is the Maid of Honor and my sister, who is married, is my Matron of Honor. My sister will be standing next to me, and my best friend next to her. There is no rule saying that you can't have them both in Honor roles. I, too, am from a family who is a 'family first' oriented upbringing, which is why I chose to have my sister stand next to me, but if you don't want to put one before the other, you may have them stand side by side at an equal distance from you. Hope this helps!
2007-12-02 22:33:37 · answer #1 · answered by huge_tracts_of_land 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have both of them for your Maid of Honor. You can do that, there's no law saying you have to only have one. I've seen as many as three. Its great that you have a best friend that has supported you through the years. And as such she should be included in your wedding party as a Maid of Honor but you also have a sister that has been there since the beginning. If you love your sister and are somewhat close to her I think she will have some harsh feelings about not being asked. And even if for some reason your relationship with your best friend drops off some how after your wedding your sister is still your sister. Ask both of them. They can do the shower planning etc. 50-50. I think they both would be delighted that you asked them. When my brother got married several years ago he wanted to have a friend of his as his best man. Not a best friend, just a good friend. My mother thought it was awful as we have another brother. They are only a 1yr part, went to school together, shared the same room for years! He changed his mind and asked my other brother to be his best man. The friend ended up singing a song at the wedding. Over 10 yrs later, that friend is no longer in his life but his brother will always be!
2007-12-03 10:08:25 · answer #2 · answered by holmeskaykay 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If and only if BOTH of the following are true, would I consider passing over family for the sake of friendship:
(1) Your family isn't very involved. You and your groom, and/or his family are doing most of the planning and bill paying.
(2) Your best friend is the "roll up my sleeves and pitch in with hours of hard work" type, who will relieve you of many tiring and time consuming tasks encountered in planning a wedding.
If either of the above are false, then stick with family. Friendship may be sweeter, but family lasts longer and is willing to do more for you. Weddings are hard work and you should choose whatever is going to gain you the most practical assistance with the least stress.
Added later: Any advice along the lines of "It's YOUR day and you should have everything YOUR way" is exactly wrong. Your responsibilities to your family, you future inlaws, and your guests are far more important than wallowing in an orgy of self indulgence and thoughtlessness.
2007-12-03 03:58:32 · answer #3 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had to make the choice and I still feel badly. My best friend and I have been best friends since first grade. We have been through a lot together and she is like a sister to me. My sister is three years younger and I love her too. I feel like I am close to them in different ways. When I was little I was closer to my best friend, and sort of promised her the honour. Yes, I know she can't hold that against me since I was in grade school, but i still feel like I was a real offer. I tried to choose them both and they refused.
I did finally choose my best friend. I told my sister that I felt it would be balanced because I am going to choose her to take my children if something were to happen to me or my husband. It's weird because as much as a feel close to my best friend and she probably does know me better because i confide in her more. My sister is more like me.. she looks like me.. we have the same hobbies... we listen to the same music.. we even sound alike. It's uncanny. I hoped that would make her feel better. I don't know if she is upset at all. I haven't started to plan the wedding but i'm sure she will say something if she is holding it against me and I guess i'll have to smooth is over.
It's really a touch decision. Good Luck. Let us know what you choose.
2007-12-04 03:28:48 · answer #4 · answered by bluekrush74 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The woman you pick to be your Maid of Honor should be the one you are the closest to. Yes, blood is thicker than water, but just because your sister is your sister doesn't mean she automatically gets that spot. Especially if you and your best friend are closer than you and your sister (and trust me, there's nothing wrong with that). You should pick who YOU want to be in the wedding.
Good luck!
2007-12-03 11:25:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your day, do it YOUR way! Hubby let his mom pressure him into having his bro as best man. (They were never close and his bro was horribly abusive growing up.) Hubby's best friend understood but was hurt none the less. It's a decision he and I have regretted to this day.
If you're only considering asking the sis to be MOH due to family pressures then I don't think you should. I would never want someone to feel pressured into asking me to be such an important role. My sisters and I all had our bff as MOH and didn't let the family pressure us.
Sis loves you. Just tell her what you're feeling. You really would like to ask your best friend.
Best wishes!
2007-12-03 03:49:28 · answer #6 · answered by MISS H 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can always have 2! One of my friends has an identical twin and a younger sister...and they will both be maids of honor :) Best wishes.
2007-12-04 14:06:55 · answer #7 · answered by The Mrs. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's YOUR special day and YOU have to be happy. Who wrote the rules and rgulations of a wedding. who says you can only have one maid of honor. You can have both. Or simply create a position for the other one. Like "Debutante of the Bride". Sounds nice and everyone has a role.
2007-12-03 03:39:18 · answer #8 · answered by Safrole 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My fiancee has had heaps of trouble choosing a Best Man between 2 Best friends.. SO he let them both know that he wanted them in the wedding party and told them both that he was having so much trouble choosing between them, then joked that they were both to submit a 300 word essay as to why THEY should be best man..! It lightened the situation..
We then started with plans and it became plain to see who was the most reliable and best suited to best man. I'm sure the same will happen for you. :o)
2007-12-03 03:38:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi. I have seen where a bride has 2!! It's is hard to choose, so that may be the way to go!
2007-12-03 09:53:43 · answer #10 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋