My fiancee' says she doesn't feel "it" anymore..?

Question

What does that mean. My fiancee' and I have been together two and a half years. I love her with all my heart, and we just got engaged in August. Since last Monday she hasn't talked to me much, and has been kind of distant but I thought that was just because of "girl issues" (certain time of the month). Today she called me at midnight and asked if I loved her. I told her of course I love her with all of my heart. I said "do you love me too" and she said " I care about you a lot". This kinda freak me out and she countinued to tell me how she just doesnt feel "it" anymore. I asked her if I was doing anything wrong and if I was that if she would tell me I would fix it and she said that its not me, but she just "doesnt feel 'it' anymore". I love this woman with all of my heart, and I have given so much for our relationship. (i.e. moving to another state for her, giving up my dream career to be with her, etc.) What does she mean by "it", and what am I supposed to do? Im so confused

Answer 1

I'm sorry to hear that.

By "it" most likely means she doesnt feel the same about you as she used to, or she maybe confused to what she wants. I don't want to say it, but maybe she feels like the flame you once shared is starting to blow out.

You can give her space, tell her you do whatever you need to do to help sort out your feelings. Assure her that you love her, and you choose her to marry, you choose her to spend the rest of your life with, its a very big deal for some people, maybe its just sinking in her head just recently.

You can take a vaction together, spend the whole weekend some place speical or romantic help her remeber the fun times you had.

Mostly importantly COMMUNICATE with her, tell her your confused, and ask her want SHE WANTS. Express your feelings, and ask her to spill out her feelings too.


Hope everything workds out

Answer 2

Well in this world there is only you. You should never give up a dream or move to another state for a girl. You have to do what is right for you because she could wake up in the arms of another man and just not feel it anymore. That is what is going on. If she don't love you, which is what it sounds like, then it is time to move on. Sorry man you can't make her love you. This is not Hollywood.

Answer 3

Evidentally, there was something missing in the relationship. Upon becoming engaged, she probably began to think about the seriousness of getting married. She probably realized that she was not feeling enough to make an eternal commitment.

If she is not feeling it, it is best that she go before the wedding, instead of having to go through a nasty divorce.

Piece of advise. Try giving more attention to the little things that a woman does. Don't ever think that foreplay starts when you hit the bed. Women need to be wooed daily, and shown that they are appreciated. Women stimulate emotionally, more than visually, or by touch. Once a woman feels loved, and appreciated, the rest is easy. If she does not get that, she will be unhappy, and in search of someone that will make her feel that way.

Answer 4

Awww you sound like a very nice guy, and one who would do anything to make this relationship work. But sadly I think you may have to let go and move on, or she will destroy your life. You cannot make someone love you, and if she doesn't "feel it" anymore, then she's trying to let go easily and move on. You really should do the same. Move back home and try to regain your career. You deserve better...don't spend your life with someone who cannot love you as you do her. I wish you the best

Answer 5

i feel so bad for you....i think your fiancee has had a change of heart...she doesnt feel the same way about you anymore...its also possible that she has found someone else....i think you 2 should have a serious talk...its best to know where you stand in your relationship now, than to hope and think that things are still okay...lets hope that she's just getting cold feet and you can still convince her to stay...otherwise....learn to accept things as they are...im sorry you're going through something like this...

Answer 6

She doesnt love you anymore. She met another guy who is better and she loves more. That's it. You have to face it. Time to move on, at least you're not married yet. It will be more difficult if you were married. At least for now you can freely do what you want and it will be for the better for sure. If a door closes on you, another door will be opened.

Answer 7

Wow. That sucks.I think she is in a phase. She has either been introduced to someone who she thinks is cool or just don't see herself marrying you. She also maybe freaking out because now she is engaged. Give it some time.She'll tell you what's going on.

Answer 8

Hi.
What you should do is go and see her and have a conversation with her and find out what is going on.
You should convince her to like you as she did from begining.
Lastly you should take everything easy so things remain calmly and not get worse or in a position which wasn't expected.
Best of luck.
I hope things work out.
[e-mail]
any advise.

Answer 9

Im sorry but she may simply be out of love....
You should ask her to be straight forward with you and tell you if it's over, or is this an issue that can be solved. Then look for a way to solve it.

Answer 10

she dosent love u maybe she never did, or she just lost the passion. it happens allot , sorry to tell pal but i have felt like that with my ex and i told him i don't feel the chemistry anymore it became boring as if there is nothing more ,that's all that's its going to be i left him.