My girlfriend and I just broke up and I feel horrible, cause I know it really hurt her. We argue nearly every day and she says it part of getting closer. I told her I feel maybe in the future we would be good, but right now it's just not working out. I've been in a few major relationships and she hasn't. So, it's hard to imagine what she is feeling cause I really care about her. I'm having problems in my life that I dont want to affect her anymore. Like both my parents dying recently, my best friend dying only a few months ago. To where we moved in with eachother prematurely...only a month into the relationship. I don't want to feel like I did the wrong thing cause I see her hurting now but I can't help but want to do the right thing.
2007-12-02 18:54:12 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You did the right thing by letting her go. Space is good. Maybe once you get your thoughts and life together, you can try to be on a friendlier note. You don't have to be so serious at first. I'm sorry for your lose.
2007-12-02 19:01:20 · answer #1 · answered by Diana G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi I agree with you I hate to see a person suffering from a broken heart, but I can't help but feel that if you unable to give of your self because of what you are going through then you did the right thing because she deserves everything a good relationship is suppose to offer and arguing every day never has and never will make any relationship work.Don't be so hard on your self the good thing is you were not selfish, and her heart will mend and she can move on and find some one who will love her. I am very sorry that your heart is also sad losing ones parents is not easy to deal with and also your friend so you have got some mending to do your self and only time will make it easier stay busy and take care hon.
2007-12-02 19:18:31 · answer #2 · answered by Back Field In Motion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, why did you two move in together so fast? That shows something about the both of your personalities (perhaps you are hasty in decision-making). Before I tried mending the broken heart of my ex-girlfriend, I would try understanding and working on my own personality so that I could make less mistakes in the future.
Also, there is nothing you can really do about your ex, except be an upstanding gentleman to her: she will remember this when she has a new boyfriend after you (and it's a known fact that she will compare all her future boyfriends to you, so I hope that you set the bar incredibly high).
And when I say "be an upstanding gentleman" to her, I mean not having sex with her, even though the two of you are broken up. Even if she says she will do it with you "with no strings attached," *do not* give in. Just know that she is doing this with the intent of getting you back in her life again. She will make all the efforts to show you that she can make you happy, make all the efforts to show you that she is the one for you. But depending on where your life is at right now, all her efforts might be in vain.
So don't put her through the agony of any or all of that. Be respectful and courteous to her always, and she will surely follow suit (it seems men don't know how much they call the shots on the type of woman they will be maturing / nurturing while in a relationship with them ~ or in your case, out of a relationship with them). Help her become a good woman / ex-girlfriend. Show her that an ex-couple doesn't have to be broken-up on bad terms. Show her that men aren't all dogs (because she will be thinking that at one point in time in this 'rough period' for her ~ especially if she has a close circle of b*tchy friends around her).
But like I said you, as a man, pretty much call the shots on how this female will see herself as well as all the men she comes in contact with in the future - so set a good example for her. Treat her good when you see her or whenever you talk to her over the phone (I would refrain from texting her as that would portray a facade of extra closeness that you are trying to ween her off of - that IF you are planning on never being romantically involved with her again). Be platonic in all your ways, but make sure you're not sterile.
And *always* make sure that you aren't giving off mixed signals in what you want from her. That will only add more torment her life than what's presently in her life now.
Good luck, and I hope she remembers you as good boyfriend, but more importantly, a good hearted person in the end. Also, if you ever intend on getting back with her in the future, I would recommend spending more time with her than usual (similar to a couple that's separated, but more than a couple that's divorced ~ try to work in between that as best you can). I say this because if you let her grow and mature on her own while you do some maturing on your own, you two may go in different directions, intellectually. You don't want that. It will make it even harder for you to get back with her as your mentalities will have changed drastically the longer you grow without being in each other's lives.
I hope this made sense and you find your own path in this situation that will leave you satisfied with yourself, as well as your whole life in general
2007-12-02 19:28:58 · answer #3 · answered by Loving Life 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Breaking up with her to get yourself together might be the right thing. If you prolong something your not sure of it can hurt her more in the long run. Get your life together and know that if you two are meant to be you will find a way back to each other. Don't lead her on by saying you two will get back together just to make her feel better if your not sure about it yourself. Most of all be honest with her.
2007-12-02 19:03:12 · answer #4 · answered by tattoodangel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In the end, everything falls into place. Don't forget that everything happens for a reason... even though she doesn't know it right now, she will one day. It's nice that you care about her feelings... but you can't make a decision based on only what she wants... just do what feels right. Everything will be fine :]
2007-12-02 19:04:36 · answer #5 · answered by Kat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Better now than before the relationship grew into true love. You are arguing to much anyway. It was a dead end to begin with. No one should be arguing like that. You should be in the "honeymoon" stage in this relationship. Generally, you should both still be trying to please each other, not fighting at this stage.
2007-12-02 19:02:28 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its good that you did the right thing. She will eventually get over it, and as she dates and enters other relationships she will learn from it.
2007-12-02 18:59:32 · answer #7 · answered by ctelly22 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
of course she'll get hurt, afterall you were together. nobody's happy to break up with someone dearest to you... but yah know, as they say, it may sound cliche but time will heal us all. there's the moving on and letting go stage... just give her time...
2007-12-02 18:59:02 · answer #8 · answered by mystique 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know man. That sucks. It sucks when you have to hurt people. I don't think you can fix that. Try and be friends but give her some space right now...oh hell. I have no idea. When you figure this one out let me know.
2007-12-02 18:58:07 · answer #9 · answered by darkling 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Because you still love her. You can't accept that you and her are apart from each other.
2007-12-02 19:03:24 · answer #10 · answered by Errol Vincent B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋