My 8-year-old wants to change her name. Should I let her?

Question

She has been telling me she wants to change her name for a few months now. She wants to change it to something completely different. I think this might harm her emotionally since she's had this name for eight years, but I've always hated my name and wished I could change it since I was very young. I plan to change her last name to mine, anyway (her father has been out of our lives for a long time). Is this a bad idea?

Answer 1

If you want to change her last name to yours, that is your decision, but do not let her change her first name.

If she wants to try out being called something else, amuse her and call her by that name, but leave her name the same on paper, and make sure she knows that it is still her name. She will most likely not have as strong of feelings about the new name later on. Let her grow, and then decide what the adult her really wants to do.

Answer 2

Why is it such a surprise to you? Like Mother, like daughter?
How can you logically disagree with her when you tell us that you intend to change it anyhow? If you can do it, then why can't she? She must be one confused little cookie. Under no circumstances would I change her last name while you are objecting to her wish to alter her own name. Wait till this storm blows over.

You need to know what she thinks will happen when she changes it.
She either has had a bad experience connected with her old name and thinks that changing it will fix something. Kids might be making fun of her name at school.Try to find out.

Alternatively, she may be hoping for a better life with a new name. I am sure there are a lot more possibilities. You just have to find out quietly why she wants to change it and then you will know what to do. It may need a bit of immagination so ask her for suggestions.

She naturally has no idea of the legalities of a name change.Does she want her first, second or both names changed? Why not make a game of it ? Could you try a nick name? Make a game of ridiculous suggestions like Miss Milly Molly Mandy. Mrs Who's She Going To Be Called Today? That's probably a good one. Why don't you ask her each day what she wants to be called.

I hope you can have a lot of fun with your daughter over a new name. Why don't you ask her to choose a new name for both of you? Have a picnic in the park to celebrate. Do it often enough for her to understand that a new name changes nothing. Hope I have given you a few ideas to ponder.

Answer 3

Yes, it's a bad idea. You are letting her know that she is in control, and she's the boss. You spent 9 months coming up with the perfect name for her - and now 8 years old, wants to change her name? I've never even heard of a parent even close to consideration for something like that!!! Tell her she has 10 more years with the name - then if she really wants to, there's nothing you can do about it. She's an adult then. 18. Good luck.

Answer 4

I would tell her that she can use her favourite name as a nickname if that's what she wants to do, but that she can't change her legal name until she's an adult. If she's sure, and you have an informal trial period at home and with her friends for a few weeks, then you could tell the school that she wishes to change the name she is known by.

Last name is not such an issue, kids do it regularly due to remarriage etc. But her first name is who she is. A few months is not enough. If she starts using the new name as a nickname, and uses nothing but it for a few YEARS, and everybody starts to think of her by the new name, then maybe you could consider changing it legally. Not until then.

What concerns me here is your comment that YOU always hated your name and wanted to change it. How is this relevant? If you want to change your name, change your name. Not hers. Don't live vicariously through your child.

Answer 5

She is eight. If she wanted to dye her hair pink and pierce her nose would you let her? I don't know how the process works where you live...but her you have to appear before the probate court judge in order to change your name....first or last....and at least with the judge we have here, you will get a nice chewing out when you tell him she wants to change her name. You are the adult. When she is old enough to legally change her name, fine, that's something she can do. I have eight year old twins and they aren't at a place thought process wise to make any kind of decisions like that.

Answer 6

ALL little girls want to change their names. Comeon! I wanted to change mine from the age of 5 to 12. The names I liked changed every year.My kids go through this constantly. I just call them the "new names" they like till they get sick of it. They usually get sick of it in about 3 days. You gave her a name, it was her first gift after life. Tell her to come up with a nickname and that will be it. When she's 18- she won't even consider such a ridiculous thing. Unless you named her Bertha or Gertrude- she'll survive.

Answer 7

She's far too young to make a decision like that. If when she is approaching 17-18 and still wants to change her name, then that will be a good time for her to do it, before she establishes credit, job histories, applies to colleges, etc. Let her take responsibility for the costs and court obligations. Let it be her first "grown up" decision. Make sure she knows what is entailed in changing your name and everything.

As for the last name, thats your decision.

Answer 8

Tell her "Sure, of course you can change your name, you can do it all by yourself when you're 18. Wouldn't you like that"?

She's 8, you can lie to her. Tell her that it's HER name and you are not allowed to change it for her. She has to change it by herself, but that can't happen until she is 18, and that it's ONLY 10 years from now.

She'll be happy with that answer and excited to wait until she's 18 to do it. She'll forget about it in about 2 years, but atleast this approach won't make you feel horrible for being the "mean mommy".

Answer 9

Well im 14 years old and i mean i dont love my name.When i was about 8 or 9 i wanted to change my name.All kids go through it and later she will be glad she didn`t.Your parents give you your name.If she really truley hates her name at least wait untill she is a teeneger and truley undrstands that once she changes her name it`s done.I hope ive helped and good luck!!

another thing for now just let her go by a nickname.

Answer 10

it would be absolutly ridiculous to let an 8 year old child change their name. Like a few others had said are you the parent or the child here? When she's an adult herself then she make that choice. No offense really, but dont be silly.