I would really like some help with a family problem my husband and I are having. We have hosted all of the holiday events at our house since my parents passed away 6 years ago. Mainly because we have the biggest house.
We have never had a problem with doing it we have actually always enjoyed it and felt blessed to have so much family and friend. But this year we want to take our 3 children and spend Christmas in Aspen Colorado, with a couple of friends of ours and their kids. We live in Palm Springs California so our kids have never had a white Christmas. We told every one about our plans at Thanksgiving and the way every one acted you would have thought we are commiting a crime. We have offered to still let every one use our house already decorated. All they have to do is get together and plan the dinner and such. But they are still being real pains in the butts about it. Especially my sister, she says we can not abandon our family at Christmas. Any suggestions on how to handle this?
2007-12-02 18:02:22 · 15 answers · asked by Kali_girl825 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
We are still buying gifts for every one. And have told them that we will be hosting a belated Christmas party when we get back on the 27th. Due to my husband and my business commitments we did not get to take a family vacation this summer so our kids are really looking forward to it.
Is there a right or a wrong in this situation? Who do we put first our selves and our children or the rest of our family and friends?
Thank you a head of time.
2007-12-02 18:06:46 · update #1
First and most important you and your husband and children should come first. Especially your children. It sounds like you want to give them a special Christmas and that is what really matters. It sounds to me like you are accommodating every one by offering your house to them, and by throwing a Christmas party when you get home. You should do what makes your children happy and it sounds like they want to go to Aspen which I think sounds like a great idea especially considering you are giving them a white Christmas for the first time.
I think you should go and enjoy your selves. Your family and friends will get over it. Maybe they are just so used to you doing every thing for the holidays that they have fallen into a routine. It sounds like they need to start doing some things for them selves. Maybe they will start to appreciate what you do. And tell sis that she is just going to have to get over it.
Have fun in Aspen wish I could be there. Relax and enjoy your vacation.
I hope you have a very merry Christmas.
2007-12-02 18:36:30 · answer #1 · answered by Cristina A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell you sister that you are not "abandoning your family" you are taking them on a ski trip to Aspen!!!! Your husband and your kids are your primary family now. How selfish (I'm sorry but it is) of your family begrudge you wanting to give your kids a white Christmas...every kid should get that at least once! I would stick to your guns. You are being more than gracious by letting them use your house and you have really tried to appease them. I don't think it's going to work. You need to just stick with your plans that you've made with your family and let the others deal with it.
2007-12-02 22:13:17 · answer #2 · answered by aly_des 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I emphatize with you. Christmases are always held in our house, also the biggest within our family. In fact, not just Christmases but some birthdays, and just about any excuse to get together. Don't get me wrong, we all enjoy those get-togethers because we are a well-knit clan. Also, those parties do not cause us major effort because we call for catering most of the time.
One time, we decided we were going to spend Christmas in Sydney. We told them that this time, we were invited by my relatives (the "clan" is my husband's side), and that it was abbout time we gave in. And then we hosted a belated New Year party a couple of days after returning. They all received the "advisory" well and in fact were happy for us. I guess they knew that we will be happy to do a different Christmas, and our clan was just happy for us.
I am certain that things will work out well. And that your kids especially will enjoy the snow.
2007-12-02 19:02:26 · answer #3 · answered by CX 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the rest of your family is disappointed because they really enjoyed the holidays at your house. But , I assume that they are all adults and maybe it's time that they each make their own christmas tradtions with their spouses and kids. Go and enjoy your Christmas in Aspen with your kids and friends (that sounds like a beautiful place to spend the holidays) You are not abandoning your family. Your hubby and kids are your family now..(perhaps your sis wishes that she had the opportunity to go to Aspen too) Wish her a happy holiday and tell her that you will bring her something special from your trip when you get back. Hope it all works out! MERRY CHRISTMAS!
2007-12-02 18:22:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not cave. This is totally ridiculous, you've practically done the whole thing anyway without you there and they are still being selfish. Just remember this. You, your husband and your children come first. ALWAYS. No matter what, no matter who.
You should go, most especially since your children are excited to go and don't mind not being with the family over the holidays.
Just stick to your guns and don't even offer your house. They are adults and can take care of themselves. You do not have to take care of everything, these people are capable of being adults. Let it be. And let them use their own homes. You are doing way too much.
Good luck.
2007-12-02 19:41:41 · answer #5 · answered by oh_my_its_linda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations! Wonderful plan! Be careful on the slopes!
Abandon your family? Huh?
Your family sounds like a bunch of pouty mooches.
You have served notice in a fair manner. It is up to them to decide whether to celebrate or not. Lock up the house and go to Aspen... and don't look back or stress over someone bi+ching.
I think that from this year onward, you need to rotate who hosts Christmas dinner just to spread the responsibility around. Draw lots at Thanksgiving if you have to.
2007-12-02 18:23:16 · answer #6 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
They are being childish. You have a life and you do not need to explain yourself to them. I would not let them use my house either. You have planned the party for the 27th and that is when it is. They can either come or stay home. Do not let them bully you into doing things their way. If they wanted to go away at Christmas they would go and not worry about you. I would tell them that you are still celebrating Christmas together it is just on a different date. You deserve to have your vacation and to spend your holidays with your family as you wish.
2007-12-02 19:49:47 · answer #7 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You put yourself and your children and husband first. You have done all you can for your family and friends. You are committing no crime at all. Go on with your vacation and have a good vacation. If they do not want to wait a couple of days to have a Christmas party and they do not want to have one when you are gone then it is there loss not yours. You are doing the right thing by going and taking a vacation.
2007-12-02 18:37:20 · answer #8 · answered by Caitlin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You broke a tradition, in so doing all the rest feel betrayed by your sudden decision. It won';t be the same without you and you know that. This is your house and what sort of a family reunion would it be if you were away on holiday somewhere? You are the pain in the butt, not them! You could have decided to take your children to Aspen at some other time.
Talk to your sister and perhaps you can ask her to join you instead. Or the better idea would be to consider a later date for your holiday trip. .
2007-12-02 18:19:37 · answer #9 · answered by 102845 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Really, I know Christmas is a family thing but your sister needs to chill out and take into consideration what you are doing for your kids. I would take the trip with the kids but make sure THEY want to go. If they would rather spend time with the whole family let them do that and take the trip at a later time.
Maybe see if your sister can come with you guys on this trip and solve that problem but I would see what your kids want to do. There wouldn't be much sense in taking them out of town if they wanted to stay in town you know?
2007-12-02 18:07:37 · answer #10 · answered by Ashley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋