i'm 21 already. i'm moving out of my parents house next week as the house is getting too crowded for me. i am sharing a room with my sis, my elder's sis's mum in law n sis in law whom i hardly knew. i find the situation uncomfortable n that i dun have personal space. when i announced that i am moving out, my elder sis started lashing out about me running away from my responsibilities (i.e not wanting the burden of taking care of my aged parents)that i am being a selfish brat.
i just cant see it from her point of view. my intention was to get my own personal space n to give more space for the rest that is still living in the house.
pls advise me if i am making the right decision. pls bear in mind that my family is a traditional malay family who believes that family is everything. but i dun share the same thoughts with them.
its not as if i'm totally abandoning my family. i'll visit n stuff. i mean how far apart can we be still living in tiny singapore??
2007-12-02 16:51:47 · 16 answers · asked by keira 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
my culture is different. most of u might be shocked but in my culture, no child moves out unless he/she gets married. i know it sounds ridiculous.
but thats how my culture is!! so u guys see now y its sucha hard decision for me to make?
its like i'm practically an unfilial child if i move out. sigh...
2007-12-02 17:28:18 · update #1
well, in the american culture, it's quite alright to move out and be on your own. independence is a good thing.
you're really not responsible to take care of your parents, either... maybe your culture says so, though?
there comes a point in everyone's lives where they have to take care of themselves! this is what you're doing -- taking care of YOU... and i agree, it sounds as if you'd be better off.
you are definitely not a brat.
2007-12-02 17:58:38 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the U.S, still living at home at 21 would be a bit of an EXTENDED stay! I have 7 children, and yes I do believe family is everything. However my eldest son moved out at 19 (THANK GOD) and my 17 is already in College, and living on campus more than 1600 miles from home! I'm just waiting on next year when my 16 year old daughter turns 17 and goes off to school!
I understand what you are saying about not having personal space... We all need it.
Just continue to be supportive of your family, visit, help out when needed etc.. I am sure everyone will learn to understand your need for personal privacy.
2007-12-03 01:09:24 · answer #2 · answered by NikkiNTexas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Move...I Don't See A Big Deal. You Will Be Visiting. Just As Long You Don't Abandoned Your Love Ones...Go Be Independent-It's A Good Thing.
2007-12-03 00:56:05 · answer #3 · answered by Smilez 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not running away from your responsibilities. Since you are 21, you can take care of yourself and can move anywhere that you want. If you move out, it doesn't mean that you wouldn't take care of your parents because you can stop in at times and see what they need, and since you said that family is very important to you all, they should understand and support your decision if that was infact what you wanted to do. Good Luck and I hope that you make the best decision that you are comfortable to.
2007-12-03 00:56:47 · answer #4 · answered by HeavenlyBliss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how individual see things. For me, I think it is good to be independant and there is nothing wrong in moving out of your parents house. In fact you can prove to your parents that you can be independant yourself. But the thing is that you need to convince tour parents and family that this is a right decision and not a wrong decision.
2007-12-03 01:09:23 · answer #5 · answered by Clown & Joker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 21 years old and I think it would be okay if you moved out. Just tell your family that you love them and will still be apart of there lives and will be there if they need you. You can't live your life for your family members. You have to do whats best for you. I say go for it!
2007-12-03 00:57:41 · answer #6 · answered by lowery44 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are abandoning nothing. Your sister must not have the means to do the same herself, and is afraid of doing everything alone. Just let her know that you will still be there, but your life is yours to do with what you want, and you need to have some space of your own.
2007-12-03 00:55:50 · answer #7 · answered by Shane Doe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
personally, i think when a person moves out you gain responsibilities...more so than lose. My brother is 22 and just moved out, and now he has to budget his money so he can pay his bills. He is al ot more responsible now than he ever was before. If you were leaving for a completely different country that is one thing, but you can still visit them in Singapore...
I think your sister might be upset that your moving out
2007-12-03 00:59:25 · answer #8 · answered by Steve 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are running away from the responsibility. As long as you are there for them when they need help. You might find you want to help out/visit more once you are happier with your own living space too.
2007-12-03 01:17:01 · answer #9 · answered by winter_jayne 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are legally an adult, and free to leave. Don't let anyone guilt you into staying. Lots of people help take care of elderly family members w/o actually living with them full-time.
2007-12-03 01:30:15 · answer #10 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋