I'm 20 years old. While I know that having a baby right now would be very irresponsible and dumb on my part (I deliver pizzas for a living and I live with my parents), part of me really wants a baby. Everytime I see a woman carrying her baby, I get this pange of jealousy, like it should be me. Is that wierd?
2007-12-02 16:47:09 · 41 answers · asked by **[Witty_Name]** 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
No, its not a strange idea, but you do need to consider your motives. . why are you wanting a baby? Is it that you do not feel loved or valued as a person (I'm not trying to insult, but this is a common motive, even though you may not recognize it as such)
Are you in a stable relationship? Have you considered the kind of life you could give a baby at this point? ie do you think you could make enough money to provide for you and the child without being dependant on someone else, or welfare to survive. .
It is very important to consider these questions. . the decisions you make will affect another life, and you will be a parent for the rest of your life. . . if you raise a child in poverty, he or she will likely end up the same way. . .
A parent always wants the best for their child. . and they want the child to have better than they had. .
some tough questions, but you really need to consider your motives and how you are going to support yourself and the child. . It would not be fair to the child to have him with a baby sitter most of the time because you are always working to make it for you and the child.
If you get an education before having a child, both you and the child will be much better off. If you have an education before having a child, he or she will likely put a great amount of import on education as well
Tough questions, bu t you really need to consider. .
Hope this helps
2007-12-02 16:55:24 · answer #1 · answered by Clara Nett 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, That is young.... Having kids is a very difficult job.. Plus your considering doing it without being married...thats double difficult and I think it would be wrong to put the extra stress on your parents at a time when they are finally done with rasing you and can start to enjoy and explore there own needs again. You can't expect them to jump right back into helping raise another child.....and that would be what would happen in the situation you described....you just cannot do it on your own right now.
I think you might want something to depend on you, to make you feel that you are needed.
When my wife and I got married, we just did not have the money for a baby...and we did want one in the worst way.....but we waited 4 years....I am glad we did...we got to know each other in those five years and it made the addition to our family a more stable event....we were ready to commit.
The truth of the matter is ....children grow up...there is more to your life then just having children...you need to find that something...Know who you are first, before bringing a new life into this world. because when that time comes...it is your responsibility to give that baby the most stable environment you can....
Can you honestly say that you have a stable environment to offer?
2007-12-02 17:03:13 · answer #2 · answered by StopPanda 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
think about this like a rational human being.
Baby-
1) needs LOTS and LOTS of attention
2) Lots of money for diapers, clothing, food, among other typical baby needs per month will be too maybe $100-200 a month.
3) are you going to sit home and do nothing to care for it?
4) you're 20, you're young NO man wants baby mama drama. you can forget about a boyfriend until your child goes to college
5)you deliver pizza. ENOUGH SAID about that. you can't afford this baby
6) you still live with your parents and you're 20. so you're a college junior (about).
7) are you willing to get up EVERY NIGHT at 4 am to feed that baby, you won't sleep the first few months you can forget about a night out with your friends. You're going to be home the first few years with no friends at all.
8) you're 20, you're still in college you should do good now in order to furthur your knowledge in order to get a good job after college or get into a grad/law/medical school. A baby will just get in the way of you reaching your goal.
9) you may or may not be but i think you are irresponsible hence, you're not ready to be a MOMMY.
2007-12-02 16:56:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not weird at all. And believe me, you'd be surprised at what you can actually do with a sh** job if you actually have to. But before you go and decide to get pregnant, make sure that you are emotionally and mentally ready to deal with the hardships being 20 and having a baby brings. At the end of the day, all that matters is that you are happy and if you decide to have a baby that you are ready to sacrifice everything you hold dear if it means the difference between that baby having a good life and a hard life because of the decision you made.
2007-12-02 18:29:20 · answer #4 · answered by Jayson's mama 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have PLENTY of time to have a baby! Wait until you are totally financially stable and on your own and have a man in your life who wants a baby as bad as you do! I know how you feel. I'm 34 and my clock is ticking and I get jealous when I see all these women my age and younger with babies. I'm adopted and I desperately want something that is part of me. However, I am in a bad situation right now. I am very emotionally unstable and living with my Mom and cannot work. It would be selfish to have a baby but it is tough! YOU HAVE TO THINK OF WHAT IS BEST FOR THIS POSSIBLE CHILD! You know that you are not ready. I would get on the pill so you don't subconsciously try to get pregnant. Also, discuss this with a counsler. It sounds like you feel like you are missing something in your life. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-12-02 16:55:17 · answer #5 · answered by jessica 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, you are very normal. However, you sound smart, so don't give into the urge until you are really in a secure place with a good man and a good financial situation before you have a kid.
Don't feel jealous. Perhaps the mother you are jealous of made a horrible mistake and got pregnant out of wedlock and is now barely getting by. You never know other people's real situations.
2007-12-02 16:52:10 · answer #6 · answered by huckleberry 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not at all, completely normal. Your problem just a little mature. The next thing I am going to tell you is very important. A lot of girls that feel this way try to settle down and have a baby with every guy they date or date older men. Just know that's a bad Ideal. your young take your time find Mr. right. and enjoy life there is plenty of time to have kids and a family.
2007-12-02 16:57:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not weird. A girl in some point in her life wants to have a baby, but its not really a phase. Just make sure you dont enter into a relationship just for that. Remember that having a baby is a very BIG responsibility and you dont want to raise one without financial back-up and though parents help their children, you cant rely on them forever to support you. Living with your parents just shows your dependent on them still. You are still young. Dont be in a hurry.
2007-12-02 16:53:56 · answer #8 · answered by mayapacute 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. it is not weird, it is all invaded in the females, motherhood, is a natural instinct, humans, animals, plants, be born, grow and reproduce yourself, but you seem like an intelligent person, fight that urge, think, a baby is a chain for ever, don't do it till you are more mature and economical ready, a father would also be nice. Weight all the consequences of raising a child, and think, think deep. Do I make my point_
2007-12-02 16:56:27 · answer #9 · answered by RucoRico 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no not at all. I'm 21 and I feel the same way. I always said I want to wait until I'm ready and that theres plenty of other things I need to do first, but I can't help it. Motherhood is calling me and it just kinda came up within the past year or so. I think its perfectly normal. Just think of how old our ancestors were when they started having kids. Its almost strange that our society is telling us we have to wait so long. You should definitely wait until you're ready, but I know that feeling.
2007-12-02 16:52:44 · answer #10 · answered by Kat F 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋