i'm a 21 y.o. exotic dancer, but my family doesn't approve...i really enjoy what i do and feel that it is time for me to be independent, since they're barely able to provide for me anyway...plus i dont want to keep lying to them about where i go on the weekends...i'm already on a guilt trip...i want to move out but i don't know how to tell them i'm ready and able to take care of myself...i go to college and plan to finish in about 3 more years (and i aspire to be a writer/social worker someday)...so how should i tell them this??
2007-12-02 16:26:23 · 16 answers · asked by mizz_strawberry21 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Thanks everybody for all your answers. I really appreciate it :)
2007-12-04 12:56:43 · update #1
If you're ready to take care of yourself, then just be honest about it. It's painful for parents to let a child go, but they expect it to happen someday. Thank them for taking care of you through your childhood, and just explain to them that their job is done.
You're a grown woman and you're prepared to make a life for yourself. It's never easy on a parent, but they know it has to happen.
2007-12-02 16:29:26 · answer #1 · answered by Scott Evil 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can afford to move out, then do it. You are 21 and able to make your own decisions. But if moving out will keep you from going to school then don't do it. Keep in mind, there are alot of expenses with living on your own. Furniture, cookware, food, electricity. There is more than just rent to pay.
Frankly, in your line of work, living alone is very dangerous. I know a few dancers who have been followed home. Plus, being a dancer, people think you are a slut and will often try to get 'more than a dance.'
Maybe you can get a few friends together to split bills. I'm not saying don't do it, but just make sure you are ready. Then tell them you are 21 and feel like you are ready to be out on your own. You are an adult and need to start growing up and supporting yourself.
And for future reference- if you want to be a social worker- being a dancer is nto a good career move. Most require extensive background checks, and working in that industry will disqualify you from being hired. And you don't need to finish school to be a writer. Start writing now. Keep going to school, but start writing on the side. But you might want to explore some other career paths while you are in school.
2007-12-02 16:33:51 · answer #2 · answered by Meghan 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First let me say, be careful out there. Know you probably have heard that many times. So just put me on the list.
You are 21 yrs old, you are an exotic dancer yet you are having a hard time telling your family it's time for you to move out on your own. This is why I said be careful out there.
You seem to be independent in one area, but not in the other.
You talk to your parents and let them know that you are planning on moving out as soon as you find suitable housing. Just tell them it's time to be on your own and that you're able to take care of yourself. Remind your parents that you're only a phone call away. That might help.
Your parents love you and want to protect you. They want to protect you, mostly due to the exoctic dancing I'm sure. However, they can't protect you from everything as you know. There should be know guilt on your part for wanting to move out on your own. It's time for the big move.
When all is said and done (with a few tears) they will finally let you go. It's hard sometimes for parents to let there children go. Sounds like you have your life pretty well planned out for yourself. Stick to your goals and you'll get there. Just be careful in the mean time. Another check mark for me on the list.
Have a good life.
2007-12-02 17:12:12 · answer #3 · answered by Eagles Fly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe you are still living with your parents and you're 21. I was living on my own at 16, and supporting myself.
If exotic dancing is what you want to do, you'd better make sure it pays the bills. Don't confuse a hobby with a career.
Just tell your parents that you feel you are an unnecessary financial burden on them, when they should be enjoying life. Then tell them you want to move out, and give them a timeline. They might be very supportive and even help you get things together for your house.
Moving out is great for your relationship with your parents. It gives everyone space.
2007-12-02 16:31:43 · answer #4 · answered by Goonhilda 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell them you are ready to move into your own house and will be doing so very soon. They will get over it. My kids moved out around the same age. I had a little empty nest syndrome for a while, but it went away and I am fine now. Your parents will be fine, too. The purpose of raising a child is to let it go free when it is 21.
2007-12-02 16:30:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and get your own place or get a roommate you know you can get along with. Also, make sure you have transportation. You have the job so you know something about finances. When you have all of this done just tell your parents that you want to be closer to work or school and your getting your own place so you can study in a quiet place or because of your crazy hours you won't be a disturbance to them. I left home when I was 17 and my parents were okay with it because I had a job, a place to live(out of town), and was going to college. Good luck!
2007-12-02 16:34:18 · answer #6 · answered by ajkoolkats 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that it is time to be on your own and you are getting your own place. Your family does not have to approve of your dancing. Dancing is what you do for a living, it is not who you are. You are going to do a lot of things in your life that your family will not approve of. If it is right for you don't worry about it. You have to live for you and not for their approval. You are a 21 year old adult, you do not have to lie about where you go. If it is that bad I would get out very soon.
2007-12-02 16:32:03 · answer #7 · answered by kim h 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe just make it seem like you're leaving to better be able to get your school work done. Find some friends to move in with close to your school so it will seem like the perfect place to be and not like you're leaving you family for anything that's away from them. Since you respect them enough not to want to lie to them, find the best option for yourself and explain to them how good this move will be for you. I moved back in with my parents when I was done with college and felt like I needed to stay even when I didn't need to anymore. I don't know why but sometimes we just have this obligation to our families even when we know something else will work out better for everyone.
2007-12-02 16:31:34 · answer #8 · answered by summer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont tell them, just rent your new place. Then when you are all ready to move and are packing your stuff then tell them otherwise they will just try to get you to change your mind. and you are a grown girl so go be a grown up.
2007-12-02 16:29:44 · answer #9 · answered by NONAME 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just tell them your moving out your 21 to old to be living at home the longer u stay the harder it will be to move out
2007-12-02 16:31:30 · answer #10 · answered by John G 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋