me and my gf have been together for 2 months. a few days ago she wrote me a note it read...
i know it may seem like i've been pushing you away lately
but i'm not.
I dont know any other way to say this but your love is too good to be true.
I mean at this point guys would be really bored of me.
I love you so much that not a day gos by where I don't think about you. I love you to the point where i'm ready to marry you.
I want to be your wife.
I want to be able to cook for you.
To be able to do your laundry.
To be able to make a bubble bath for us when you get home.
So here is my promise ring to you.(she drew a picture of a ring)
I promise 2 luv u 4 ever.
Even when i'm mad at you.
To love you even if we decide to break up.
so thats what it said i'm 16 and she is 17
i am in love with her and she says shes in love with me...
does she really love me?
should i propose at graduation?
2007-12-02 16:08:39 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There is no question that she believes that she loves you, and that is good, but the problem is that between the ages of 16 and say 25, you will grow quite a lot and so will she. your tastes will change, as will you level of maturity. .
One of the things to keep in mind is that of those who marry young, the odds of being togather are not good. .. only about 1 in 8 or so will still be married and happy in 10 years. .
The best thing that both of you can do, is finish school, get through College. . that way, you will have a career that will support the two of you. . she should finish a college education as well, that way, if anything happens to you, she will be able to take care of herself and any children. . Finances are responsible for >75% of all break up issues. . Starting out as just out of high school, neither of you have much poteitial for making money. . .
the other thing about waiting, if her love, and your is true, it can wait. . . Love is patient, love is kind, when you love someone, you put their desires and wants ahead of yours. If she loves you, she will also. That is what makes love work. . . and marriage is WORK. . you will have to work at it every day of your life. . its never a 50-50 thing. Sometimes it is 90-10 and other times it may be 100-0. . but you have to be ready for that and willing to stick with that person forever. .
There are two books I highly recommend:
What love asks of us by Nathaniel Branden
ISBN 0-553-26589-x
and
The Psychology of Romantic love by Nathaniel Branden
ISBN 0-553-20001-1
Both are out of print, but can be found on Amazon.com from used dealers for around $1 or $2 each. . these are the BEST explanations of what love is and what it requires. . It was an eyeopener for me. .. If you don't do anything else, read these two or at least one of them.
Hope this helps
2007-12-02 16:23:47 · answer #1 · answered by Clara Nett 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why Rush...Every Lasting Thing Takes Time To Build. Too Early- Be Carefull. "I PROMISE TO LOVE YOU FOREVER"?...Personally I Think If You Rush This Relationship YOU WILL BE THE ONE TO BE HEARTBROKEN. The Girl Is Infatuated. How Do You Know You're Going To Love Someone Forever?...And Then "Even If We Decide To Break-Up"
She Still Gunna Be Loving You??? Are You Serious!!! Come To Reality. .
Take It Easy Boii Cause Those Words Are Very Much Easy To Say But Not To Do. And Alot Of People Says Them But They Never Seem To Go By What They've Said In The Past. So Get To Know Her A Lot More-Test Her Up-If She Pasts These Tests Then Agree To The Promise Ring. And Then Keep Building It Up And If You're 100% Satisfied With Her And Sure Then You Don't Need To Ask Anybody Any More Questions About Love Cause Your Heart Will Tell You All About The Big Word Called LOVE And The Next-MARRIAGE.
Bless Up
2007-12-02 16:23:15 · answer #2 · answered by Smilez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure it feels like love on both parts now but if it is real love it can wait until you both go through college and if it is still there then it is love. I know at this age feelings can be very intense and marriage is a long term commitment. As a marriage counselor and religious leader but not a christian I often recommend that couples live together for a few years, have a written contract to cover debts and money and children and any property you may have together. If you can still stand each other after all that time then go for it and chances would be really good you will stay together. Divorce is painful and marriage is supposed to be forever. This is kind of like a test drive of a new car. I also recommend that people just living together do not have children right away as that complicates things and interferes with you both getting to know each other. I know this is a strange sort of advice but it has worked for many couples and I wish you the best of happiness.
2007-12-02 16:17:13 · answer #3 · answered by madamesophia1969 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Slow down there big man. These relationships are supposed to feel this way but they are not meant to last long term. I would take some ice water and cool your jets. Dating someone and living together with someone is so different it is not funny.
The little things she does that are cute now are going to drive you up the wall if you live together. Same goes for you with her. You might like to leave your undies on your bed she might think that is cute now but when you are complaining you have no underwear and it is thrown all over the bedroom it will get to a point of driving her nuts.
You are young just cool it what are you two doing about college? Are you attending the same college or not?
You have plenty of time to get married after college. You are going to do a lot of growing mentally during college. Heck I am 31 and i grew up a lot going back to college.
I can speak about this first hand. I married my high school sweetheart now we barley talk and for a long time could not stand to be in the same state let a lone the same room. The only thing to come out of our really violent screwed up marriage was our two wonderful children. I am not saying your marriage is going to end up like that but it very well could.
I think that by coming here and asking the question you do not really want to propose to her after your high school graduation. I think that deep down maybe even your subconciounes is telling you to take it slower.
The women I am with now I have been with for 6 years. We are not married nor do I think we will be. We are engaged but that might come to an end. Depends on where I can get a job after I grad this spring from college.
2007-12-02 16:23:57 · answer #4 · answered by cpttango30 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude honestly u need 2 wait. 2 months is way 2 short 2 be thinkin bout marriage. trust me even though u guys say u love each other and you both probably r sure u do, when it comes down 2 it (no offense) you probably dont no wat true love is.
when you are considering marrying sum1 you rly have 2 have been around them more than just 2 months. remember marriage is meant 2 b forever so u shouldnt think so strongly until you truly get 2 no her. and trust me that takes much longer than 2 months. if you were 2 marry her now (once again no offense) it would definitly not work out. if you think you truly love her and she feels the same about you, then theres no rush, no1s going anywhere. trust me give it a bunch more time and get 2 know her more, see what she is rly like at her heart. this may sound long if you are wanting to marry now but at least date for 1-2 years at the minimum b4 even considering marriage.
good luck
2007-12-02 16:18:54 · answer #5 · answered by Chip 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Judging solely by the note, I'd say yes, she really loves, and maybe it's even the forever kind of love (there are a lot of kinds of love, even if you're only counting the dating kinds) but then again, maybe it isn't. If you really feel strongly about proposing to her then no post from a stranger on the internet is going to stop you. My advice? Think about it long and hard before hand. Divorce is expensive, and the sooner you get married, the more likely it is that things will end badly. Personally, I wouldn't advise marrying untill you are financially secure, and have been dating for at least a year, at your age, probably more. Frankly, I think anyone who can't legally drink alcohol in the US is too young to marry, you just haven't had enough time to date a variety of people and find out what the forever kind of love feels like, but in the end it's your decision, not mine, and not anyone elses, just yours. Oh, and of course her decision whether or not to accept.
2007-12-02 16:23:14 · answer #6 · answered by HeartSIN 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Enjoy your love and each other and the time you spend together. Slow down on the marriage talk.
Really, things do change and people do. You two might be together for the rest of your lives, or maybe just high school, or maybe just another month. No one can predict, but the odds don't favor you staying together.
However, that first love is especially wonderful. Just "be" right now. If you are still feeling the way you do right now after she graduates then consider the marriage question. After college is better.
2007-12-02 16:18:17 · answer #7 · answered by nonoelmo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mate, this is my opinion. Don't marry at such a yound age. You miss out on so many opportunities and so much fun which you can only have at a young age. If she really loves you she will be patient enough to wait about 5 years, when you both will be able to make a mature decision. I'm the same age and thats what i think when the subject comes up. Marriage normally leads to children. Are you ready for children?!
2007-12-02 16:18:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one at 16 or 17 is truly in a relationship that will last forever. Yes you both love each other now but what will it be like 10 years from now. A wise man once said loving someone is not going to bed with them, it's getting up the next morning and face all the days problems. If you can do that then your in love.
2007-12-02 16:14:52 · answer #9 · answered by Calvin W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As much as you're not going to want to hear it you guys are still way too young to be making those kinds of promises to each other. Now is the time for you to be living your life and having fun! Even if you did propose you shouldn't even think about getting married 'til both of you have completed your education and have great jobs. Good luck, and enjoy yourself before you make any life long commitments!
2007-12-02 16:16:36 · answer #10 · answered by santokieann 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋