i HATE MYSELF!?

Question

I am really insecure, i hate it.
I get worried really easily, i hate it.
Im really emotional, i hate it.
I wish i was better in bed, i hate it.

What should i do?

I do have a girlfriend of 4 months who i love dearly.

But i know i treat her right and she likes it so thats good. but its just im really insecure, too emotional for a guy. rubbish in bed i dont think i please her enough. i hate it :(

Answer 1

Yeah, sometimes life sucks, but sometimes you just have to decide that you aren't going to feel like that anymore. Nine times out of ten (and yes, that statistic is completely made up) all it takes is a change in perspective to make everything seem a little better. If that doesn't help, consider seeing a therapist. If you find a good one, they can help a lot. There's also the possibility, as some of the others have pointed out that you suffer from clinical depression, in which case professional help is a must.

The same goes for the next three issues, feeling insecure? Take ten minute first thing in the morning and write down everything you like about yourself. At first it will be difficult, but eventually you'll find that there are actually a lot of things that you like about yourself.

Worry too much? Some worrying is good, it keeps you from making major mistakes, but in the end, sometimes you just have to let go, remember, sometimes you can't change things. When that's the case just push it out of your mind. Too emotional? Try writing down your feelings when you're feeling particularly emotional. Read through them once, and then burn the paper you wrote it on. By writing your feelings down you are providing yourself with an outlet, so it isn't as overwhelming. When you burn the paper, not only do you ensure complete privacy, so you don't have to feel vulnerable, but burning your feelings can also give you a sense of control, just make sure you burn it in a fire proof dish so you don't burn the house down.

As far as you being bad in bed, have you considered talking to your partner? I don't mean sitting down and having a "heart-to-heart" I just mean asking her what she wants. You'll seem sensitive to her needs (that's the good kind of sensitivity) and you'll also improve your own technique, satisfy her, and when it becomes clear that she likes what you're doing, you will get a dose of self-confidence. If you're not comfortable talking to her about that, try buying a book. You can't learn to be good in bed through book learning, but you may get some new ideas that are helpful to you. Sometimes the reason people seem bad in bed is because they have run out of ways to make it seem new and interesting. Learning some new techniques could be just what you need to keep things exciting. Wow, that response was extremely long.

Answer 2

You know girls like it when guys talk to them about what they want in bed, how they feel and what they expect. So if you knew what she was looking for you could strive for that. And you wouldn't feel so insecure in bed with her.

worrying and feeling insecure seems like anxiety should talk to your doctor about that. there are things that can help.
Being emotional is not a bad thing... not unless you find yourself emotional every single day... then perhaps you might be on the edge of being bi-polar.

Talk to your girlfriend...
Talk to your doctor...
its not as bad as you think and you should never hate yourself. people are attracted to others that are confident and exhibit being ok with who they are. no matter what they are. you need to do some exercises that boost your self esteem and make you feel better about yourself.

Answer 3

All this normal stuff that people go through.. then you come up with

"I wish I was better in bed, i hate it"

We can't help you with this stuff.. Everyone has problems just like you do. People are insecure, it's normal. People get worried easily, it's normal, people are emotional, it's normal. The fact that you can't satisfy your lady friend.. work on it.

Answer 4

If you can you should go to a therapist. If not, tell all your friends, they might be able to help, and if they really are your friends they will. Also, just relax and keep everything in perspective. Do little things really matter? Just enjoy the time we get here, and don't waste it worrying. I've gone through some of the same stuff, and eventually you just have to relax. I hope you find a way to be happy.

Answer 5

Calm down my friend. Relax, laugh and be thankful you have a girlfriend who likes you and is into you. She loves the way you treat her, be thankful. And stop worrying about how you are. Accept yourself. Look in the mirror because there is nothing wrong with you except that you don't believe in yourself. And once you do this, you will be better at pleasing her.

Answer 6

First of all, are you wed to the person with whom you are having sex? Find out why you feel insecure, you worry, & you are so emotional. You need to learn to love yourself, & maybe that means starting to like yourself firstly. Don't try to fix everything at once; take one thing at a time. Is God important in your life? It's time that It is. I wish you well. God has a plan for you that is meant just for you because you are special to It. God bless you!

Answer 7

We all have our issues. You can try to deal with them, one at the time ;)
You're insecure : Insecurity probably comes from low self-esteem. try looking at yourself in the mirror and instead of looking for flaws, look for what you like. Say it aloud ;) Also, cream your body. It sounds silly, but it helps getting familiar with your body and feel better in it;)
You're easily worried? try to breath. get a yoga class. find a mantra, like "hakuna matata" for the situations that get you too worried.
I'm emotional too. Didn't find a cure yet;)
Wanna be better in bed? it has to do with the confidence too. And the stress. Relax. Let go. Don't worry about what you look like and enjoy yourself... and get magazines -I think maxim give tips;)
Good luck
xxx

Answer 8

Well, all of those things are things-to-work-on, and none of them are going to get better over night. The good news is that they are all within your own control. Go easy on yourself and get some help - whether that's just some self-help books, or counselling for something more intensive.
It's all do-able.

Answer 9

Stop self loathing and get over it. Everyone is insecure about something. Everyone worries about something at one time or another. Feeling emotional? Put equal energy into the exactly opposite emotion to remedy that. (feeling blue...get equally pissed about something). Everyone has time they question their performance in bed. If you believe your horrible you will be. If you believe you will be outstanding you can plan on average cause we all overrate ourselves.

Answer 10

Practice