Annoyed with other people's kids--what is wrong with me? Help me survive!?

Question

I am a stay-at-home-mom with two children--ages 2 years and 6 months. We are involved in various activities with other moms and young children such as play group, story time at the library, Early Childhood Family Education, etc. I have made great friends with the other moms, but have recently become very agitated by other people's kids! I'm not bugged by all kids, but enough kids from different families that I realize I need to figure out a way to deal with my irritation! I love being able to be at home with my kids and am happy to have them involved in different activities. I just find myself dreading being around other young children!!! I could complain about various "bad" behaviors and lack of intervention by parents (my friends!), but I realize that I can't change other people and need to find a way to cope! Anyone else struggle with this and have any good advice?

Lots of helpful advice; I'm glad I'm not alone! To the helpful parents to have answered my question--what I can do to keep other kids from being all over the 6 month old? I don't want to seem like an over protective mom, but I don't understand why other moms allow their toddlers to climb all over my little one, take her pacifier (GROSS!), or give her excessive affection. Most toddlers don't know how to safely "love" a little baby. Any good tips to deal with this issue?
I used to put her in a front carrier, but she's getting too heavy.

Answer 1

lock yourself in your house like paula dean.

Answer 2

Heck, half the time I can barely stand my OWN kids... let alone anybody else's!! *LOL*

You're not crazy. I'm right there with you! I cannot imagine what people are thinking when they allow their children to touch things in stores that they have no intention of buying; when they allow their children to run around the store as if it's their playroom; when they fail to teach their children appropriate volume control, language, and behavior when in public.... It astounds me that people just let their kids run around "expressing themselves" while the rest of us grit our teeth and try to survive the experience.

If your home is very quiet and sedate, then you are going to spend your life being bothered by those of us who are more boisterous. If that's not the issue, then you I think you have a right to take your child from the environment...

Try talking to the person in charge of each of these activities. See what their policy is on dealing with these behaviors. Let them know the other parents' failure to monitor their own children is causing a problem for you. It could be that you have too much time scheduled with other children and need to spend more time just being a family... But it could be that the leaders of the groups need to take charge and pass the word that parents need to control their children.

That said... there is a tendency to just tolerate that kind of behavior nowadays, a belief that misbehaving children are just expressing themselves... I say that's baloney, and that there are times when it's appropriate to quietly and respectfully instruct the misbehaving child. So what if they cry and run to their parents??

Do you want your children picking up these behaviors? You might try a different type of group, where people actually RAISE their children... Just a thought.

Answer 3

I feel like I went through this a lot more when my kids were young like yours are now. You need to just set "boundaries" if you do not want to be around certain other "kids" just find a way to limit that time. Or go someplace that those children are busy doing there own thing while you and the other mom can visit. Once they get older it will not be so much of a problem, just get through this difficult time. I wouldn't even bother about telling their parents, it usually wouldn't do any good and just cause bad feelings, spend more time with those that you enjoy...

Answer 4

I've had a few friends like that! It can be very irritating. I have found that it's helpful to point things out to your friends. Be honest, and say, "You know, when my little one did that the other day, I did...." Or, "mine use to do that, this is how I got him to stop..." You would be amazed at how well your tips will be appriciated. The other Mom may be so frustrated she doesn't know what to do, so she does nothing.

Give it a try! And if it doesn't work, just keep telling yourself everyone parents differently, and we should accept those differences! Even if you have to do it through grit teeth! :)

Answer 5

I struggle with this too. My pet peeve is when older children play rough around my little ones. If the mother steps in and controls her kid, I smile and continue on. If she does nothing, I will (politely) correct the other child. I'd rather the mom be angry with me than let my child get hurt. I also carefully select which activities we do. Some things just aren't worth it. I'd rather have the quiet playdate at home with one other mom, for instance, than the big wild playgroup with every kid on the block.

Answer 6

you are not alone and it only gets worse as the kids get older. For your baby just keep hold of her her keep her in her pusher if you are out. If at home try to plan them coming over with your babies sleep time. It drives me nuts too when kids misbehave and the mums do nothing or have the attitude "boys will be boys". I just want to scream "discipline your child"

Answer 7

I enjoy being around some kids, but find that I dont enjoy being around others. But, even with the kids I enjoy, I only enjoy them for so long then I am ready for them to go home.

Answer 8

I'm not sure how to deal with it, but you are not alone. My husband says he loves our kids but he hates everyone else's! I think that we are just "programmed" to take more from our own than we do from others.

Answer 9

ugh, i know what you mean. you have to pick your battles carefully. if the behaviors are just annoying, you have to grin and bear it. But if they are endangering or rubbing off on your kids its time to speak up.