which is great. The problem is she wants to spend Christmas over my place and he will be coming down with her. I am not too comfortable with the idea of both of them sleeping over my house so I suggested that I can set them up in a good hotel nearby my area, and I would pay for they stay. Well so far I have not received any response from her and according to my sister she is very upset with me. She thinks that I am being childish because she feels that I am not excepting of her new boyfriend. I have no issues or problems with any of my parent’s significant other. I just not comfortable with the dynamics, not just yet. My sister thinks my mother is asking to much from but she won’t tell her that.
I don’t think I am being childish?!
2007-12-02 15:08:13 · 8 answers · asked by Naomi L 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No. Whether you accept it or not is your choice no matter how old you are. If you're not comfortable, then you're not. Your mom can't force you into being comfortable. But then again, your mom might now understand that so I suggest that you have a good talk with her so that there's no conflict between you and your mom. :)
2007-12-02 15:13:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
One of the rules I have is to NEVER get information from a third party. If your mom is mad at you, wait until you hear it from her. She is a grown woman, she is old enuf to have a boyfriend and play grown up games, then she's able to tell her adult daughter that she resents her not being able to sleep with her boyfriend in your house. Don't worry about it. From what you are saying, you were polite and kind. Especially if you have children, you made the right decision. She is setting a bad example for them and that is not acceptable.
I would call or email and not mention one word about what your sister said. Just let her know that you hadn't heard from her and are looking forward to see 'them', and ask what their plans are. Also, ask if he has special likes, hobbies, interests, etc. so that you can get him a nice gift. That will let her know you are really looking forward meeting him and spending the holidays with them.
Good luck.
2007-12-03 00:10:59 · answer #2 · answered by oh_my_its_linda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he-he, this is a common problem. Ask her if she would be cool with you if you were unmarried and sleeping with your SO in her house when you came to visit. If she wouldn't (and most parents wouldn't), how can she expect you to treat her differently?
On the flip side, if she has let you sleep with your SO without being married in her home, then you don't have much of an argument.
You haven't done anything wrong and you've offered to pay for the accommodations. This may be her issue to get over. Good Luck.
2007-12-03 00:02:35 · answer #3 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is obvious that you do have some concerns about your mom's new boy friend. You have a very strong intuition regarding this guy,and honestly it is good. Perhaps you will feel more comfortable if someone who you trust stay with you, your sister or dad or cousin in the house while your mom and her bf is staying there.
If you can not find someone who you trust to stay at your house, then it would be best if they stay at a Hotel. I know your mom doesn't accept this, but your feelings about him should not be ignore. Send an apology letter to her, but explain to her how you feel and that you are hurt because you want to spend Christmas with her and bf. ( In Hotel) God bless.
2007-12-02 23:23:30 · answer #4 · answered by tony 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all, remove your sister from the conversation ASAP. this is between you and your mother...don't complicate it by involving other people.
secondly, you're an adult, and as an adult, you get to decide what happens in your house. if you are not ready for your mom and her boyfriend to sleep in your house, you have the right to express that to your mother. of course, she has the right to be upset / hurt by it...but hopefully you'll be able to reach some common ground.
i encourage you to try discerning what your real issue is in this situation. do you just not want them sleeping in the same bed? are you worried they're going to have sex with each other? do you have issues with this man trying to take the place of your father? getting at the core of your concerns with this situation might help you discuss this openly with your mother.
blessings!
2007-12-02 23:39:24 · answer #5 · answered by BigRed 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are not comfortable with him being there, you should try to talk to your mum calmly about it. Its YOUR house so she should respect your feelings. If you are waiting for her to ring you, maybe you should bite the bullet and ring her! Be calm and rational. If she still doesn't agree with your decision, why not suggest that you go and see her at her place the day after Christmas.Then its entirely up to you whether you want to spend the night there.
2007-12-02 23:23:26 · answer #6 · answered by cheaky_bugger 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, maybe call your mother up and keep calling her and talk to her about it one on one. If she still is upset with you when she comes into town let her and her boyfriend sleep at your house and you sleep in the hotel...
2007-12-02 23:13:06 · answer #7 · answered by lilmissunshine 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think u r being childish . just accept the fact that ur mum has found sum1.
2007-12-02 23:28:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋