I have a daughter who is 17 years old. She was recently raped, which has been terrible for everyone in the family.
Unfortunately, we've just learned that she's now pregnant from the rape. She has expressed a desire to get an abortion. We are highly against that in this family. I have told her in no uncertain terms that if she gets an abortion, she will have to leave our home.
She is 17 years old, so she's almost 18 anyway. Is there a way for me to legally kick her out of my house? I know there's such a thing as an emancipated minor, but I don't want to get myself in trouble here either.
Thanks.
2007-12-02 14:18:48 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
That is so wrong, how can you disown your child.
OMG, men like you really are so false.
2007-12-02 17:04:14 · answer #1 · answered by unity 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I am against abortions if they are done for no good reason like sleeping around and being irresponsible. She is 17, very young and probably not capable of caring for a child. Also, she was raped. Put yourself in her situation. How would you feel having that reminder of that tragic moment attached to you for 9 months reminding you everyday of the pain and then having to give birth to a child from such a twisted sick person. She needs you more than ever. You can't abandon her now. I hope for her case, you support her decision. If you think she is old enough to leave your house and your care, let her decide what to do
2007-12-02 20:30:25 · answer #2 · answered by Lexie J 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Technically, if no one reports her as a runaway then the police wouldn't do anything about it-espcially so close to her 18th birthday.
However, try to think logically about your decision before you make it. If she is that close to her 18th birthday, why not let her stay until she is old enough to get an apartment on her own? I'm not saying that you should allow her to live in your home past 18 if she is not living what you feel is an appropriate lifestyle, however if you kick her out at 17 it will be extremely difficult for her to find a place that will allow her to sign a lease, so you may be condemning your daughter to homelessness-where she will run into a lot of very unsafe situations.
You might not be happy with the choices your daughter makes, but she IS your daughter. She has also been through a very traumatic experience and really needs her family. You can support your child and not support all of their decisions-because THEY are the ones that will have to live with the consequences, not you.
2007-12-02 14:31:22 · answer #3 · answered by lovelymrsm 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Have you had a cat scan lately ? Maybe you should to find out where your brain went ? I have heard the stupidst things in my life but by far you do take the cake even my 65 yr old father says u take the cake.
You are her mother her protector how can you be so STUPID and I use that world lamely in your case for you to comprehend. First of all she has gone through a tramatic assault on her. Have you pressed charges on the guy ? Or are you too stupid to do that ?
Second, if she wanted to abort ? Why would you stop her? I am not for abortion but this baby was not conceived out of love nor was it conceived out of kindness and it is not a miracle from God . Every waking minute of her life this child will remind your daughter of the rape and the person that did it. She will be digusted and angry and resentful and may even do harm to herself, the baby or both.
Even if she wanted to put the baby up for adoption, it would be easy but then she would have to carry a child she DOES NOT WANT since it was not conceived of good circumstances or out of love or a MIRACLE from God.
I think you need to be brought up on charges for RAPE as well if you disown your daughter for this then it is like you are RAPING her too.. You are not a mother or family I only feel sorry for your daughter to have to put up with such Low people in her family GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR A** AND BE A PARENT TO YOUR DAUGHTER..................
2007-12-03 01:18:06 · answer #4 · answered by TTFN10000 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes terrible for everyone in the family but more than you can imagine for her and the unborn baby!! Your letter tells us that you are unbending, selfish and demanding that everyone live by your values. I too am against abortion but that is not the only option and you do not sound that you are interested in helping her at all- you are going to disown her so she has no one to turn to as punishment for being raped? As punishment for going against your values?!! If you are truly a religious, caring or concerned parent then you will offer support during this time. Doesn't your value system teach forgiveness and love? She could put it up for adoption or Why don't you raise the baby and every time you look at it you can think how brutally its father raped your daughter and see how easy it is to give a baby love when it was created in sin.
"You can only be my daughter if you follow my rules" some parent you are!
2007-12-02 14:35:36 · answer #5 · answered by atheleticman_fan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is this a hypothetical scenario geared toward those who are against abortion even in case of rape? You even get into the emancipated minor aspect, which is quite legal of course. This seems a little too unemotional and well thought out for someone "struggling" with a very personal issue.
2007-12-03 13:57:48 · answer #6 · answered by Dawn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why on earth would you want to do that to your daughter at such a traumatic time in her life? If you disown your daughter it will haunt you to your grave. It is not so cut and dry and easy to erase a child from your life, they are not disposable...Your child was violated in the cruelest way imaginable, and now you wish to hurt her even more by throwing her away?
Before you bash my answer I must say that I have been in the position of being raped myself, and thankfully I never got pregnant, but you can't imagine what it does to you to have your worst nightmare on earth come true..and then.to be pregnant on top of that...
I must also say that I am pro life...I believe that life begins at conception, but I am also a mother. I have 6 children, 3 boys and 3 girls. The hardest thing to do as a parent is to support a child when they make a choice that you do not personally believe in or support.
My role as my children's mother does not end simply because I do not like the choice that my child is making. My personal feelings and beliefs are my own, but I must also remember that my first and most important job is to be a mother to my children, through the good, the bad and the very ugly side of life.
I would be distraught at the thought of one of my children being raped, and even more distraught if that child wanted an abortion, but......Being a mom or dad doesn't give us the right to decide to draw a line in the sand. We are given children to love them through the joys and sadness of life and the choices they make, all the while carrying the burden of our sorrows on our own.
No, I do not believe in abortion and never will, but I would love my daughter through the choices that she makes in life and always be there pick up the pieces when her life falls apart.
Loving our children unconditionally is our calling as parents, and it is a love must endure when we think we have nothing left to give.
I know how much it hurts to have a child decide to have an abortion, and I know how difficult it is to stand by while my child makes that choice, as one of my own children just made that decision...It hurts more than you will ever know...but I will choose to love my child anyway...she needs me, she needs her mom, especially when the full weight of the choice she made comes back to haunt her.
God forgive me if all I can offer a child I brought into this world is my condemnation.
Please rethink your position......
2007-12-05 21:33:00 · answer #7 · answered by lisakenn2002 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that is so awful. You want to kick her out of the house because she stands up for what she believes in, and wants to make her own choices because of something that happened to HER?! You should be supporting her! This is a really hard time for her, physically and emotionally. You need to support her decisions. Do you really want a grandkid this early? Do you want another baby being born into this world by an underaged mother who won't know what to do? You are the worst parent I've ever heard of if you are not concerned about your daughter or that baby. Just don't kick her out, support her in whatever decision she makes. You are obviously an immature parent yourself, though, so maybe you shouldn't be around much so you don't influence your daughter's parenting skills.
2007-12-02 16:05:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter has just been through a TERRIBLE experience. It may have been hard for your and your family to find out she was raped but you have no idea how hard this has been on her. Now you want to kick her out because she believe that its best for her to get an abortion. I am pro-life but there are times were I can understand someone choosing an abortion and this is one of them. WOW "dad" , that's great parenting skills/life lesson kick her when she is down.
2007-12-02 14:29:10 · answer #9 · answered by Cherrygirl83 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have been disowned for less. I think maybe you should see if she will consider adoption, it is terribly hard to know what to do in the event of a rape. (Isaw a man who raped me today, it was horrible .) No matter what she does, love her, dont leave her, dont ask her to leave. I knwo this seems like a horrible thing to say, however, how is she to heal from this if no one will be there for her. I am sure she doesnt believe in abortion, but to look at a child who is the result of a rape may haunt her in ways you may never know. I dont agree with her decision, however your choice will do more harm than you could ever think of.I dont know if you are a christian, but think of all the things we have been forgiven of, Jesus offers His love unconditionally even to a girl who is choosing to have an abortion.
Dont disown her, love her, encourage her to make other choices but please no matter what you do try to for the best thing for her, not for your conscience and not for your image, for her. Make sure she is aware of all of her options and encourage her to do the right thing for her and for her child, if you pushe her away she may never recover, and it could get worse, the streets are harsh and she could get hurt more or even killed. No matter how mad you are I am sure you dont want that.
2007-12-02 14:33:56 · answer #10 · answered by Crystal K 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What a father? Are all you men the same. I am 100% against abortions thats why im 16 and pregnant but it is probaly a smart decision for someone in her position. She got raped if anything you should be with her no matter what decision she makes!
2007-12-02 15:17:43 · answer #11 · answered by mommy 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋