Okay, my dad died a year ago and his birthday is in a couple weeks. Don't get me wrong I love my dad to death but I want like a father figure around and I know my dad would want my mom to be be happy but she says she's not getting remarried. I talked to her about before and she said she'd only be doing it for me......Also, I really don't have to worry about my stepdad or step family being mean to me b/c know my mom would listen....She's a great mom I just think she'd be happier and I'd be happier to which would make her happy. I mean I'll NEVER FORGET my dad.....
2007-12-02 13:56:37 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sweetie, tell your mom that you love her very much, and it is time for her to be happy again. It is time start seeing people again, and you are good with her judge of people because she found your father. God bless.
2007-12-02 14:27:51 · answer #1 · answered by A friend of Bill W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for your situation, but please understand, it is not for you to tell your mom how to live her life. You don't say if your mom is dating or not - but a year is not that much time. Trust me, I have been there (your mom's position) - getting back into the dating scene again, is like swimming in the shark pool - AND, your mom feels an obligation to keep you safe, as well. You have no idea what kind of jerks there can be out there; it is not like she can just go to the husband store and pick out a new one who would be a good father figure (I know you know that, but I had to say it...:)) Both of you are going thru a lot of changes, and I understand your needs, but think of it this way - imagine how you would feel if she married someone who turned out to be a real disaster? You feel a need, and you see the bad in your current situation, but trust me, it can always get worse. You think she will pick someone great, but you may be unpleasantly surprised... this is really just your fantasy, and your thought, because you think you would like it. It is not that simple. If she is not happy, then she should start doing activities, but that is different from just getting hooked up with some new person.
2007-12-02 14:10:28 · answer #2 · answered by eldots53 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is a very tough thing. losing a mate is a devastating event and it takes a long time to get over it. she probably needs at least another year, maybe 2 before she will even consider it. don't push it. that's the last thing she needs. if you need a male role model, look to an uncle, cousin or friend's dad. She would NOT be happier if she got married right now. Right now she is still learning how to live without your dad. You may not realize it, and i know you don't mean to, but when you tell her to get remarried you are hurting her feelings because you are telling her in a way that it is not ok for her to be alone. the thing is, before she can get past losing your dad and get to the point where she can consider another mate, she needs to accept that it is ok to be alone and let your dad go and learn that she is ok without your dad. it's a double edged sword, i know. But give her time. when she's ready, she'll date again.
2007-12-02 14:07:27 · answer #3 · answered by busymomkaren 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She does not want to get remarried. I would respect that. She will be miserable if she married someone just for you. Don't you have any uncles, a grandfather, a friends dad or anyone else that you can go to if you need a father figure. That is better than wanting your mother to remarry when she does not want to. She also might not be ready yet. Some people take longer than others to grieve. Give her some time yet and do not try to pressure her.
2007-12-02 14:02:11 · answer #4 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey I know you miss your dad, but pressuring your mom to get married is selfish and wrong.Leave her alone about it.Dont you think she misses your dad and probably isnt over his death entirely especially with the Holidays coming up?
Not to mention if she just ups and marries anyone ,she may not be able to stop them from raping and killing you if she marries a loon.Use your head here g/f!
PRAY and ask the LORD to send your mom a good man and the LORD will work it out in HIS time,IF HE sees thats whats best.
2007-12-02 14:36:25 · answer #5 · answered by Joe F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to just let her find someone and love will come in and take over. You can't make her marry someone. Your mom sounds like a wonderful person who is still going through the grieving process.
When she's ready she will be the one to tell you, not the other way around.
2007-12-02 14:03:55 · answer #6 · answered by TM25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋