Mom "homeschools" the kids, but they don't know anything. Can we force her to send them to school?

Question

My partner has 2 kids, 6-yo girl and 5-yo boy. They don't live with us, they live with their mom, her new husband, and 8-month-old baby. Their mom "homeschools" them, which has been fine for the oldest as she is (1) motivated, (2) very bright, and (3) the beneficiary of a fair amount of attention before the baby was born. The 5-yo boy DOES NOT KNOW HIS LETTERS ON SIGHT. It was a horrible struggle to get him to learn his numbers, and now that we've found out he doesn't get any teaching at home, it's a horrible struggle all over again with the letters. He's whiny, unmotivated, and obviously coddled by mommy, but doesn't show any signs of unintelligence or learning disabilities. We've already had all kinds of fun with this woman in court. She doesn't care about our thoughts on raising the children properly, and won't send them to school of her own accord. We live in TX. Can we get him tested and force her to send him to school? Any thoughts on how to do this? PLEASE HELP!

Okay, I'm sorry some of you didn't catch that I'm essentially common-law married to their dad. We're not married because I don't want her claws in my assets, and that's THE ONLY REASON. Their dad, incidentally, feels the same way I do, so telling me to "butt out" makes no sense.

Also, if you don't understand sarcasm (court is not "fun"), or just want to tell me that I'm "not the parent", please refrain from answering. You don't need 2 points that bad.

Dear "Computer Guy", the courts did not deny custody to my partner, as you suggest. It's a joint custody arrangement slanted to the mother, as pretty much all of them are in TX. We've already had custody battles in court, as I mentioned in the original question. What's my concern? I'm committed to their dad, and I have to live with them for the rest of my life, too. No, I don't have kids, but if I did, I wouldn't dare assume that I could adequately educate them myself.

I can dig that he's not interested in learning. But the kid can recite every superhero by name, on sight. There's no reason he shouldn't be able to do the same with letters.

Answer 1

wow...just make sure she has a good curriculum- if not send them to a private school>?

Answer 2

It's no crime that a 5 year old does not know his letters on sight. That is first grade work generally when a child is about 6. Some children learn sooner than others. If he was 7 and did not know his numbers/letters then you might have a point, but 5....no.

I can appreciate your concern, but it seems that you are causing more problems than you are solving. Seriously.

Incidently, even if you were married, I doubt the ex could get her "claws" into anything you earned...normally whatever is brought into a marriage by a spouse cannot be touched by an ex. If it is, someone needs to get a better attorney.

Stop giving the woman so much grief....jeez....she's got a new baby to take care of, plus 2 other children to home-school as well, and a husband and home to take care of.

Your best bet is to be very careful...a judge can tell when a case has merit or when it's frivilous...and they get quite tired of seeing the same person in court with the same accusations that prove to be unwarranted.

Answer 3

Unless she is not educating them at all, it is very unlikely that you can force her to send the child to school. While homeschooling goes against what must of society is used to, it is not illegal. Your best bet is to get actively involved in their "homeschooling". In doing so, you will gain a better picture of what is going on educational with the children, and can make sound and secure judgments about the situation. If after then, the child is still struggling, it might be a good idea to rethink how he is being taught and also to go for testing. Just keep in mind that not every child learns in the same manner or at the same pace. Good luck!

Answer 4

5 year olds are Kindergarten age and not required to be enrolled in school. Most people elect to. He should start by next school year. They should have to take standardized tests to track there learning. These are the same tests the schools issue. The parents will have to keep the records, here in NC we have to send the result in. If a child is not learning the state will force the parent to enroll them in a public or private school.
Also 5 year old boys are hard to teach. Much more immature than girls of the same age. Give him another year, that year makes a huge difference.

Answer 5

Schools had been initially conceived and funded by way of governments to permit each mothers and fathers to paintings and to make certain a consistent circulation of semi-expert, literate employees. Public investment of colleges is designed to deliver all kids a reasonable-move, alternatively than simply the schooling a mother or father maybe capable to have the funds for. A lot of mothers and fathers would no longer have the funds for to pay for the schooling their youngster gets. Parents is not going to need to pay for textbooks. I consider it's reasonable for them to pay for apparel regardless that, considering that that's a personal rate and uniforms must no longer price a lot more than every other garments. Maybe colleges must be compelled to simply undertake uniforms which price the identical as natural apparel.

Answer 6

I don't believe the state of Texas or anyone can force the kids mother to send those kids to school. That is the mother's right to homeschool her kids and no one should interfere in that decision. However she should talk to her ex and see what his opinion is. Do they go to school when they are with the father?

Answer 7

You didn't mention if you had any kids, or how you would feel if someone else tried to tell you where to send them to school.

I believe that children need a good education, but home schooling is not the villain here. You are up against the woman to whom the courts have given custody of the children. Are you prepared for a court battle over custody?

Answer 8

Make a deal w/ her and the judge. If she can teach the boy his alphabet in a month (this is plenty of time, I've seen it taught over the course of 3 days), then she may not be as incompetant as u think. If she hasn't taught him his letters by then, then u can get the judge to order the woman to send the kids to school, where they will be in a much-needed, structured learning environment.

Answer 9

I can't really answer if there is anything you can do to make her send the kids to school, but keep fighting for it. One idea could be to check with the state and see what educational standards they have for home schooled kids. I'm not sure what getting him tested will do, since my guess is that he is not learning disabled in anyway, and kids do learn at different paces. Best of luck, and keep fighting for what you believe in.

Answer 10

I completely understand. My husbands kids go to public school, and they are really behind where everyone Else's. It was a constant struggle to get them the help that they needed. We offered to pay for Sylvan Learning Center for one and she pay for the other, but she wouldn't go for that. So we took them to Sylvan and had them tested so that we knew exactly how far behind they were. Maybe see if you can get them tested to see exactly where they are. And unfortunately women get the kids 95% if not higher when they aren't the best parent.

Answer 11

This is a situation that is up to the parents, not you. If the mother has a program that she is following and has not shared that with you, you must refrain from interfering.

You mention that you have had "fun" in court with this person. Are you interested in having fun or helping the children? Are you qualified to make a judgment on the stages of learning? Consider why you have the interest in them. Stay out of this and allow your partner to handle the situation. When you become their step mother, you may have some input.