My eldest daughter (18) poured hot water over her younger sister just because the younger sister (12) wouldn't lend her a comb. It turned into a heated argument because the first daughter doesn't know how to return things she borrowed and ends up "owning" them. Then threatened her sister that she'd pour boiling water on her the next time she came running to me for help. I told the eldest daughter she can leave the house if she threatens even her own sister and then she told me to do her and her father a favor and drop dead. I want to send her to a mental institute and rehabilitate her but her father sides with her even through this crappy situation. What would you do?
2007-12-02 12:51:01 · 14 answers · asked by Equinox 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She is an adult and is acting like a deranged 12 year old. Its time for her to get a job and move out. One person can disrupt and ruin the lives of everyone in the family and its not fair to the younger child to have to deal with this abuse.
2007-12-02 13:01:52 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would escort the 18 year old out of my house with her posessions in tow.
If any of my kids were to do this to another sibling, then that child can not be trusted and being of legal age will be put out of the house promptly. Her threats may very well be that, but why take that chance she might be serious.
May sound harsh, but I won't risk the health and well being of the younger siblings.
And seriously your husband needs to get on board and on the same page as you. You 2 are the foundation of your family and must present a united front.
I suggest hashing this out with him away from the house in private, won't help matters if the kids hear the argument. He should be taking YOUR side each and EVERY time.
2007-12-02 13:05:18 · answer #2 · answered by Hold em Rox 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont give her so much credit.. she's not crazy, she's just spoiled!!! i've said that to my parents soo many times when i was 13, 14 "i hate you" "i hope you die" "i hope you drop dead" it's our way of showing you how important we think we are. we do it to hurt... don't worry, if this is the first time she's done it, you got a long ways to go, if she's been acting that way for a while, hopefully she'll grow up and knock that off soon.. i didn't stop with the "center of the universe i hate you if you dont do what i want" attitude until i was about 18.. ouch.. trust me when i say the best think you can do is shake it off... give her attention and she'll just keep it coming.. i know i did
edit: i missed the boiling water part... she's 18 right, if she even approaches her little sister with boiling water you need to call the cops and get her locked up.. and not show any remorse. be tough. she'll respect you for it. and she'll never do it again.
2007-12-02 12:57:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 20 year old daughter.Daughters are tough! I made her move out when she was 18. We are now best friends, and she very much realizes how good she had it at home, and what a snot she was at the time. Make her move out, even if it's living with a relative temporary (don't tell her that tho). 18 is WAY too old to be abusing a 12 year old!
2007-12-02 13:10:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My children are not permitted to talk to me like that. They are also not allowed to threaten each other. You should have gotten a grip on her long ago. I would tell her it is time to take care of herself and give her a time limit. If your husband sticks up for her behavior let them live together. What she did to her younger sister is awful. I would have sent her to the juvenile detention center then. She did a dangerous thing to a little girl and she should have been punished for it. You are responsible to protect your younger daughter. It is obvious what the older one is capable of.
2007-12-02 13:59:16 · answer #5 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll never get anywhere as long as your husband sides with her. Tell her she will go to jail for a long time if she carries out the threat to her sister. I truely would be heartbroken if my child treated me that way. Remember she WILL grow out of this stage. You will have sanity, just about the time your younger daughter starts acting up. You need your husband to be with you on this not against you.
2007-12-02 13:05:53 · answer #6 · answered by Deb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If every thing you say is true, your daughter has a serious problem, Do not ignore signs that your daughter needs help. Get it straight away. I would sit down with your husband and relate to him how serious this could become.
Does he want something very serious to happen, to any of you. Say you are not judging her, but you want to help her and someone needs to sit her down and find out what is troubling her.
Yes, there is something really upsetting this girl, and you had better find out what it is, before somebody REALLY gets hurt.
2007-12-02 13:19:21 · answer #7 · answered by Maureen S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT sounds like you could do with family counselling.Thats not a nice threat.If I were you I would get some help on this one as your husband /father is taking sides.You need to have a united front to help all parties.Family counselling would benefit your family with this situation.
2007-12-02 13:02:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think 18 is enough big age, but take things as cool and try to change the girl nature by making her realise her mistake and stupidity and what worst consequences it could have caused.
2007-12-04 19:53:14 · answer #9 · answered by QuestionAnswerTime 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont get how sending her to a mental institute would help. sounds more like my sister. and if my kid told me to drop dead id tell them im taking them with me
2007-12-02 18:30:54 · answer #10 · answered by Dont get Infected 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋