My stepdaughter is 10 years old and she has a Holiday concert this week at her school. I love her so much, as if she were my own and I feel a need to be there since her mother kind of abandoned her and her brother. (They see her a couple times a year even though she only live a few minutes away, she never calls them, they have to call her to make arrangements, she's an alcoholic and dresses like a teenager) Anyway, my stepdaughter called her and asked if she would go to her concert and she said yes, she has that night off. It's not that we don't get along, I've only even seen her mom a couple of times and each time she has been very rude to me but I never say anything, I just smile. I want to go for my stepdaughter's sake because I know it would mean a lot to her but I don't want to make her mom feel uncomfortable. Any ideas?
2007-12-02 11:55:21 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hi friend,
She is only her biological mother. But the "real everyday mother", who takes care of her, who is with her everyday, who gives her unconditional support" is you. Of course, you should go. Especially since you mentioned about how much you love her. You sure don't want to miss her concert. Regarding her "biological" mother (I'm calling her biological mother only because as far as I'm concerned, the title of "mother" should be bestowed to you), just be courteous to her. Greet her when you meet. It really doesn't matter how she responds because the more rude she is, the more she's making a fool out of herself. Just concentrate on supporting your step-daughter. Believe me, she's nervous with the concert and your main concern is to be there to give her moral support rather than worrying about the possible behavior her biological mother. Go there with a happy frame of mind instead of apprehension. Everything will turn out just fine. By the way you're a great person. I've heard enough evil-step-mother stories. To know that someone like you still exist is so refreshing.
2007-12-02 12:42:19 · answer #1 · answered by BERNARD C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it would want to be unfair for your stepdaughter for you no longer to attend. because that she, the mummy has been deemed insane, actually everybody in attendance comprehend that. you want to envision it how this is, she is handicapped. definite this is in a way that makes others uncomfortable, yet a good number of handicaps make others uncomfortable. What I question is having the dinner at a public position the position she has the means to reason an scene this is embarrassing to all in attendance and to different diners. i'd propose renting a private room, maximum communities have a community center or assembly hall or maybe a inn that rents rooms and having the dinner catered. Your probability of embarrassment might want to be decreased fantastically. i might want to imagine individuals that choose no longer to attend, with the aid of ex spouse/mom, have a lack of worrying for your stepdaughter. She might want to have her thoughts harm if human beings did not attend a particular adventure for her.
2016-10-25 08:19:28 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from experience as a stepdaughter, I say Go, it would mean a lot for you to be there. Even more so if both you and her mother could be there and be civil to each other.
My step mother did everything she could to be a good mom even tho she is only 10 yrs older than me, and I appreciate greatly everything that she did. Even when my mom and dad were not getting along my step mom tried to make things as normal as possible for us and tried to make peace with my mom, I will always be grateful to her for it.
Over 20 years later I still consider her my friend.
2007-12-02 12:16:41 · answer #3 · answered by Code Name MOM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter had a friend who played on the high school basketball team. Her father AND her step father went to EVERY game all 4 yrs. Which ever dad got there first saved a seat for the other. The 2 of them cheered together. ON senior parents night, she walked onto the bball floor with arm in arm with her 2 dads, gave them each a rose, and the dads received a standing ovation. Supporting your step daughter has nothing to do with the parental situation. Go! support her. Show her that you love her.
2007-12-02 13:10:30 · answer #4 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Attending the concert would probably mean a great deal to your step-daughter. The mother may not show (as other posters have stated) and you being there would be something your step-daughter would always remember.
You don't have to sit near the mother or even speak to her beyond polite hello's (if that's even necessary).
Go and enjoy the concert!
2007-12-02 12:17:55 · answer #5 · answered by libqueen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make her uncomfortable??? Who cares, not the biological mother obviously...she doesn't appear (according to your post) to really care about her kids, so why would she care if you are there....and if she does to bad. You are that little girls real mother, real as in you love her and you are raising her. Your stepdaughter would likely be heart broken if you weren't there and one day when she is older she will be very thankful for you. And hey, who's to say the biological mother won't even show up....look at her track record.
Kudos to you for giving your love to this child!
2007-12-02 12:04:18 · answer #6 · answered by Reyna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My fathers third wife and I are very close. When I was in High school and I had events, I would have been very heartbroken if she had not attended to see me. My mother and my "otha motha" (thats what my step mom likes to be called ;) are not great friends or anything, but they were two adult influences that love me very much. Think of how special she will feel that so many of the people she loves came just to se her.Hope that helps a little.
2007-12-02 12:01:09 · answer #7 · answered by Derby Doll 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It will be very uncomfortable, but go. As long as she's not the confrontational type, go. You are the only constant in your step daughters life. She needs you to stay strong. It's most likely because of you that she was strong enough to call her birth mom and ask her to come. Keep up the good work!
2007-12-02 16:38:56 · answer #8 · answered by oh_my_its_linda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for your step-daughter's sake, the more support she has, the better it is for her. If the mother shows, great! If she doesn't, it' sher loss, but you'll be there for the girl. If she's been rude and you feel she'll resent your presence, just don't sit with her. If you run into her, just say "Hey, it's great to see you! How have you been ?"
2007-12-02 12:16:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should go , I understanding her wanting her mother there and that's fine, but you should be there also, She needs your support, you say love her like your own,then you shouldn't miss her concert. Be polite and enjoy your daughter's concert. If her mom's feels uncomfortable that's her problem.
2007-12-02 12:03:09 · answer #10 · answered by luvsmusiz 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋