Is it normal to still mourn his death?

Question

My little cousin who was 4 years old, passed away from a terrible car accident. I still dont feel as if my heart has fully healed. I cant listen to sad songs, i cant look at his pictures [STILL].... Today I was driving down the road and seen a car turned over upside down.. and I seriously started cry my eyes out because it brought back so many memories. Is this normal to still feel incredibly sad about my little cousins death after FOUR years?

This was my little cousin =[

http://img504.imageshack.us/img504/1047/image001du1.jpg

Answer 1

Everyone deals with grief in different ways, so what may be normal to one person may not apply to someone else. That being said, four years is a long time to still be dealing with this level of grief. Perhaps it would help you to see a councilor or therapists. They can help you understand and deal with your grief.

Perhaps it would also help you to cherish the memory of your cousin as he was alive, rather than grieve for what was lost when he died.

Answer 2

look, this sort of thing can take a long long time. Xmas coming reminds us of those missing ones more than any other time.

And look four years old is too young to die, the shock itself is one thing, but no doubt the grief of the whole family is still raw.
write down how you feel in a journal and try to be really honest when you do it.

You could have depression due to the sudden death of your nephew, go and see a doctor and talk it over?
Anyway im sorry for you and i hope you begin to feel happier soon but look its ok to grieve about a little boy who had a whole lifetime ahead of him and then it's gone. Life can sometimes be brutal and as humans we are very vulnerable. The first shocking death in a family can take a lot of confidance away. Good luck

Answer 3

Everyone grieves differently. The important thing is not to beat yourself up for feeling what you feel. Do you get to talk about him often? That helps- it's important to honour his memory. People grieve longer if they keep it all inside...if you no longer want to cry when you see accidents or hear sad songs, then try talking about him- but good memories. What happened to him was a short flash in an otherwise beautiful life. Try and remember the good times. I know it isn't fair...and I'm sorry for your loss. All the best.
PS I apologise for all the ignorant people that have responded to your question. Part of the reason mourners keep their pain inside is because people are afraid to bring up the person that died. You did NOT disrespect his memory by posting his picture. Clearly you want to talk about him. This is the first step toward your own healing. YOU GO GIRL!

Answer 4

I lost my daughter a year and a half ago I still cry everyday. I suspect that a part of me will mourn for her the rest of my life.It is normal to have good days and bad. You have recieved some wonderful advice here take it and disregard the thumbs down, MY daughters my space page is still up I dont go on often but her sister does and her friends its their way of coping. So disregard the comment about having his picture up for people to see.He will always be a part of your life. Grief is a journey I wish I could tell you where and when you will arrive at the end of the road but, I am just beginning my journey. I wish you and his parents strength and peace. Good luck

Answer 5

He's absolutely beautiful, hon. At only 4 years old, he was still just a baby, taken away much too soon. The ways in which we deal with our grief is never right or wrong and there's no timetable to stop grieving.

I still miss my grandparents and they've been gone for 7-30 years. I'm sorry about the loss of your little cousin, as time goes along, you will still miss him, but will begin to remember the good times as well.

Answer 6

Oh sweetheart... you have every reason to mourn. Your poor family to lose such a little darling boy. I think there can be little sadder than such a young life so full of potential to be taken from us. I lost my dear cousin Peter to cancer many years ago and he was a young man who left a wife and two little boys who now don't remember him that they have grown. It is sad. There are times it hits you and you howl like a baby. Its okay. Do it. Grief takes its own time to ease. If you are still very distressed and constantly unhappy, please see your health professional. You may need help with some residual depression. In the meantime, I sincerely believe your little cousin is in Heaven with the Lord with many of our loved ones. Be assured he is well cared for ... it is just us, that have to be sad and contend with our loss.

I do wish you well and I will be keeping you in my thoughts. Warm hugs and best wishes to you and your family.

Lisa

Answer 7

Yes, death isn't easy to over come. You will never forget it but as years pass it won't hurt as much. I lost my mom in 1983 aand I still grieve for her and think about her alot. It is OK to grieve. They live on in your heart and mind. You will always carry that person with you. But you should try to take it easy. If you believe as the churches do then they believe that after a person dies they have Gods work to do and they have things they need to get done. Every time you grieve for someone they are there with you to see you through your rough time. They aren't able to do their work in their next life. You must allow them to take care of their own things and not keep calling them back. You can write a letter to the person who died but don't mail it. Write down everything you would want to tell them if they were alive. That will help you emotionally.

Answer 8

I would try to find out why you feel so connected with him still. Be always sad and depressed is no way to live. Maybe you need to do something big so that you feel the weight lifted from your heart. He was young, maybe you felt that he didn't get a chance. Or you can get counseling, but that wouldn't really help much and only waste more money.Talk to somebody about this,somebody who will give you the time and thought.

Answer 9

Well everyone heals at there own time. But if your upset that your mourning so much then you should invite over some friends and just hang out. It may not be normal for some people to mourn for a long period of time but you can't help it.

Answer 10

No one can explain when someone will heal from this horiffic accident.. He will always be on your mind and in your heart. There will be alot of things you do that will remind you of him. Maybe you should talk to a therapist about it..It would not hurt, I talk to one. If you have alot on your mind and you need to tell someone why not it be someone who doesn't judge you. Someone who won't tell a soul about how you feel. Recently My favorite Uncle past away. He died in June of this summer, he died of Cancer. He was only 54 years old....I'm still mourning. I will always remember everything, you what I like to do is, remember all the great times we shared. Focusing on that, might help. Sorry for your loss, God Bless.