I hate my step-dad and like he isn't abusive or anything but he yells like all the time and is just obnoxious and I hate him! My mom an him got married like a year after she got divorced after being married to my dad for 20 years! I am so mad and I want her to leave him.. she even said she isn't happy!
What should I do.. like how do I handle having to live with him part time?
2007-12-02 11:28:53 · 15 answers · asked by ♥Lexi 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Try and remember that adults have feelings to. I can understand you are very unhappy your parents got divorced after 20 years of marriage and this normal. I am sure this is a stressful situation on all of you. You don't say how long your Mom had been married to your step Dad so this could be a adjustment period.
Anytime a couple gets together the first few years are very stressful tiring to get to know one another throw in a kid that hates you and it spells disaster.
You feelings are important but so is everyone else in that household.
I find when you yell at anyone they are not listening to you anymore what is the point of going on when you have made anyone angry it is time to back off and try that conversation at a different time.
I think I would approach my Mom when he is not around and ask her what you can do to make this a less stressful situation for the family and she will see you are tiring to cooperate and it will make her less stressed and in turn step dad will be less stressed making a happier home front.
There are always going to be problems but there are always going to be good times to. Try not to over dramatize the bad times just remember don't engage in conversation that is non productive meaning screaming crying temper tantrums not just you but anyone that is behaving that way walk away until everyone is calm again that is the only way to resolve anything.
You can make this work you have to want to. Do you?
2007-12-02 12:55:20 · answer #1 · answered by mdjgirl7 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dearest L
I I know how you feel very well and for me it was my step mom. Dad and mom got divorced and dad must of had a g.f long before they did. You really have to try to understand it and deal with it the best you can. Stop being so tuff to deal with and try to understand her feelings too. Do what you have to do to make it better and relax step back and think of how mom must of felt being with you're dad and not loving him
Good Luck
2007-12-02 13:24:21 · answer #2 · answered by ho8er2 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's none of your business (as a child) whether or not your mom is happy in her new marriage. Unfortunately, if your step dad isn't abusing you you just kinda have to grin and bear it. From now on, everytime you feel like he's yelling at you unnecessarily or like he's being mean, tune him out long enough for you to calm down. The key to getting along with your parents (step or actual parents) is mutual respect and validation of each other's feelings. Try to say stuff like this: I understand that you think I'm being x (disrespectful or something he might yell at you for) but this is how I feel or this is how I see it. Stay calm when you do this though, otherwise he'll think you're being cheeky. Avoid fights if you can. You know how they say "pick your battles"? Don't fight until you have to. Save it for the big stuff. I hope your mom figures out what she wants to do and I hope you start getting along with your step dad. Sometimes parents are the ones who are immature or irrational and sometimes it's us. Stay strong on this one.
2007-12-02 11:44:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
ask if he'd sit down and have a talk with you. Ask if there are problems your not aware of that having him yell so much. And if there is something you can do to make it easier on everyone mostly him and his yelling.
IF he doesn't sit and talk to you, tell your own dad you'd like to live with him full time.
2007-12-02 11:38:53 · answer #4 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi
i know how you feel,if i were you i would try to talk to your mom about it and say what you said right now.If that does not work you should try to talk to your step dad about it and ask him why he always yells, i know it can be very hard to do that.But he cant do anything to you, and also he is your "step dad".Well good luck
best wishes
2007-12-02 11:35:49 · answer #5 · answered by Seattle luvr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yelling a lot is verbally & mentally abusive. I'd convince your mom to leave the jerk, too.
2007-12-02 11:50:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe he's insecure of you. just try to communicate with him more often. i have been in the same situation too, you know. and communications really helped a lot. i will not be simple or fast-track, but both of you will get there. make him feel that he is a part of your family and show him the affection that a father needs, not of a stepfather.
2007-12-02 11:50:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I am going the opposite way. If you mom is unhappy leave it to her. I don't think you should try to get in the middle unless she asks for your help. If you don't like him then tell him... and tell him why..be an adult about it and you might get your answers.
2007-12-02 11:38:50 · answer #8 · answered by Nikki 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try having a heart to heart talk to him. Ask him why he yells a lot and what you can do for him so he doesn't yell. You'd be surprised at what a little conversation will accomplish.
2007-12-02 11:34:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
well this would probably sound stupid but talk to your mom about or to someone else in your family that could give you advice of what to, but talk to your mom on what you think, aad why you think that dont approach with and angered tone of voice just calmely tell her what you feel.
2007-12-02 11:40:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋