When I go out to dinner alone, sometimes I choose to sit with strangers and join their party. Weird?

Question

I know this maybe weird. But when I go to a restaurant and I am going alone, I look for a nice group to sit with instead of having the hostess seat me alone.

I usually walk up to them ask ask if I may join them. Sometimes they have an uncomfortable look on their face. I have neve rbeen turned down though when I did this. Sometimes its a family or maybe its a couple.

I think its very neighborly to do this and you get to meet interesting people. My friends tell me its plain rude. If its rude, why don't they say no. I would love for someone to come and join me, even if I was on a date.

What do you think? Would you ever do this? On the other end, would you allow a young college-aged girl to sit with you and your party instead of sitting alone if she paid her way? I can't be the only one that does this.

Answer 1

I'm sorry but I think that's a little strange. And dangerous. I hope you don't get hurt.

Answer 2

Hmmmm well I guess for me it is not that strange. I actually met some really good friends one night by doing that. Of course it was at college and at McDonalds. But either way you look at it life is short and every opportunity you get to meet someone who can be a potential friend, I say go for it. Hey maybe if people did this kind of stuff more often we would have less hate in the world because everyone would know everyone. Yeah it's a dream. But I agree with some of the comments that maybe it is rude to some people but if they don't want to be joined they should just say it. And if it really is that rude in the first place, then why are the host/hostesses allowing you to ask the strangers? Just my thoughts!! Take them for what they are worth.

Answer 3

When I was a college student, I did this in the college cafeteria. I loved meeting new people and touching base with those I had met before. Cafeterias are great for that. I don't think I would have the nerve to do it in a restaurant, though. If I did, and people looked uncomfortable when I asked, I would come up with an excuse to leave them so they wouldn't feel uncomfortable. Usually, I sat at at least 2 different tables during a meal, so they would never put it down to their behavior being what drove me away.

Answer 4

I think it is rude to do such a thing. Why don't you sit at the bar? Many single people go into the bar area to eat. Why not sit down and strike up a conversation with them? Or even talk to a group of people at the bar. (But don't just invite yourself into the group.) It is alot less awkward conversing with strangers there because the social atmosphere in the bar area is more open and in the dining room it is more private. What you are doing is really rude and you could be ruining someones dinner.

Answer 5

Okay, here's what I think. I think you need to acess the situation. If it was in a place where it's college oriented, relaxed, coffee shop like, it might be okay. I think it would be especially good to find another solo person. I think that a situation in a bar or club would be fine if you find a bunch of gals having a fun rowdy time. I think otherwise, it would be totally unacceptable to approach someone who was with their family or a couple. Or even several couples dining together. The people have to be open to meeting someone new and a family, a date or a couples night out is not the time when people are receptive to that type of experience.

Answer 6

It could be considered rude because many people aren't prepared for an intrusion and are unsure of how to say 'no politely in such circumstances.
It would be nice if there was big get-together areas of restaurants so people could come in and sit with strangers and be able to meet them, I know I would adore a restaurant that did that (just imagine a food bar, and once you get your food you sit down at a large table with everyone else in the restaurant...)

In the end, it is a bit rude, but maybe you should arrange for strangers to meet in a certain place so that no one is imposed upon unexpectedly? Make an agreement with a restaurant owner to have a certain section for that very purpose and tell all the customers to eat there if they want to make friends with new people...

Answer 7

If I'm dining alone, I don't need to look for other diners and intrude on their time with their family or friends. I consider that to be rude and intrusive. You are only thinking about yourself and thoughtless to the feelings of others that are probably just too flabbergasted at your forwardness. They look uncomfortable because they don't want you there and you have put them on the spot.

Grow up. If you find dining alone so awkward, find your own friends and family to go with you. Knowing there are people like you out there lurking around, gives me the creeps and I would have no problem telling you to take a hike.

Answer 8

Most of the time I would think it's rude. They want to spend time with their friends/family, not entertaining you. Also, some people (like me) are painfully shy and hate when people we don't know even approach. I get nervous and upset when all I wanted was to get a nice meal and be left alone to enjoy the company of friends. If you are invited though, it's ok to join strangers. The other people probably were uncomfortable and were just trying to be polite if they let you join but didn't seem to want you to.

Answer 9

Frankly, this is a very strange practice -- and rather invasive.

It's terrific that you're sociable. But I surmise that most of the people who have let you join them merely did so to avoid seeming rude.

You can simply never know what the occasion is for those people to be dining out. If it's a couple, for all you know the gentleman may be intending to propose marriage.

There's nothing wrong with dining by yourself in a restaurant. I do so quite often, particularly when on vacation [I travel alone]. If you feel awkward just sitting there, take a book to read.

Answer 10

I think it's nice that you're so friendly, but sometimes people go out to dinner with the expectation that they will be enjoying a nice evening by themselves and not end up sitting with a stranger. People do have some expectations of relative privacy when they go out to eat. I can see why the people would feel uncomfortable.

Answer 11

There are very few situations where this would be acceptable. One would be if all the tables are taken. Another would be if, instead of individual tables, there are long lunchroom-style tables. For example, in a college cafeteria, it would be OK to find someone else sitting alone and join. They probably live in your building, so you can talk.

But other than that, I would never do this. Perhaps you get away with it since you're a young female ;)