Etiquette on inviting co-workers to your wedding?

Question

I have seen many post on inviting co-workers to your wedding. I was wondering if anyone knew what the proper etiquette was for inviting co-workers to your wedding? It is obvious that you can't invite everyone but how do you do it? I asked one close co-worker and he said just invite those that you are close with. But I told him I am close with at least 16-17 people, how can I invite some of them and not all. 16-17 ppl will turn into 32-34 because they will bring a guest.
Can someone help me find a better way of saying to the other co-workers that I won't invite that the wedding is for close family and friends without them thinking I am being rude to them by not inviting them but inviting the other co-workers?

And yes I know many of you will say it is your day do what you want but has anyone been in this situation before?

Just to add by May 2008, it will be 2 yrs. 5 months at this job.

Answer 1

I'm no Miss Manners, but here are two suggestions that I have. Invite only the people you usually socialize with outside of work. Or only invite five people from each yours and your husband to be's work and explain it's what the two of you have decided to be fair to each other and financially. If your friends don't understand, they're not truly your friends.

Answer 2

Don't invite your coworkers. Everyone knows that receptions are expensive these days. Anyone who questions why they weren't invited doesn't have a good grasp of etiquette. When they find that none of them were invited they will understand your decision.

Have an "at home" with wine and light snacks for your coworkers when you return from your honeymoon--you will be able to enjoy their company more, actually--because you aren't having to worry about the course that things take at a reception. Send the invite before you leave on your honeymoon.

Give them an invitation asking them to be your first guests in your new home, and no gifts please. That way, they will know that you aren't just inviting them to get a gift. Unfortunately, some people might think that. If they do bring a gift, you can always act surprised--and appreciative. Don't forget to send a "thank you".

Answer 3

It is fine. A lot of people feel like you, actually. A wedding is an intimate event, personally I do not wish to invite anyone but family and very best friends. Some people open their guest list to include coworkers, old friends they lost contact with, business clients, and neighbors. It's just a personal preference. Don't talk about it at work, except minimal answers if someone asks. Always say that it will be a small wedding. If someone asks to be invited, nicely explain that you decided to keep it very small, so no. Don't feel bad about it or let anyone make you feel bad.

Answer 4

Due to space and cost, I didn't invite any of my co-workers. Instead, we had a cocktail "post wedding" reception at our place a few weeks after the wedding. We had our wedding album by then so they also got to see pictures. It was a great success and all my co-workers had a great time.

As far as telling them, I told them that we want to keep the wedding small and intimate and we will be hosting a party for everyone. Once they knew they were going to be invited to something similar, they didn't get upset or offended. Most people familiar with weddings will completely understand.

Good luck!

Answer 5

I'm getting married in May, too, and by that time I will be there 4 years. And I'm not inviting anyone from work. I've already explained to the people I would like there and to the people that thought they should be invited that I don't want there, that our guest list is just getting too big, and I wish they could be there but unfortunately I am running out of room.

Answer 6

I would say don't invite any coworkers to your wedding.

I invited a few to mine. One didn't show (though she had responded that she was attending) and never gave me a gift, only a lame excuse when I returned to work. Four months later, our office was closed and I will probably never see those people again. Likewise for all of the weddings of coworkers I have attended over the years- I will never see these people again.

Keep it to friends and family. You'll be glad in the long run that you did. Think of it this way- is it worth the cost you're paying per head to have them there? I wish I had saved the money, looking back on it.

Answer 7

My husband and I work together, so we ended up inviting about 20 people from work. We could not invite everyone and a few weeks after the wedding a co-worker who was not invited told me she was disappointed that she didn't get invited. I said "well we couldn't invite everyone and we tried really hard to invite as many people as we could, but we had to cut off our list somewhere, so we could only invite our closest friends. I would have loved to include you, but our guest list was getting out of control." I think she appreciated my honesty and she said she wasn't upset. I think you just have to be honest and tell them that you have a set budget and would have loved to invite everyone, but it's just not possible.

Answer 8

Invite your boss and those you are close with. If you are truly close with them, then you will want them there on the special day. There is no real way to cut the list down unless you have have one or two "best friends" at work, in which case just invite them. But if you randomly decide and hurt people, then trust me you will regret it. No one will be offended if you just invite those who you get together with outside of work. That is the safest way to go about it.

Answer 9

Im only inviting some of the people from work. 7 to be precise, we only have a staff of 18 so its not as difficult I guess. The 7 i'm inviting know not to say anything to the others (i.e. rub it in their faces) and I have also told them I'm not inviting their partners (which they're stoked about - girls weekend away!). I guess it entirely depends on the dynamics of your work place. The people I work with a pretty cruisy and laid back so it wasn't difficult. If any one approaches me about why they weren't invited i'll tell them the honest truth "limited budget and I felt we weren't as close as the others".

Answer 10

The only co-workers I'm inviting are my boss, the people who report directly to me (but not people who report to them), and the few people I socialize with outside of work (that I would continue to be friends with if I didn't work there anymore). My fiance is inviting only his boss.