Ok. So first off I want to thank everyone who has taken the time to help me make decisions during this really confusing time. This will probably be my last post about this. Long story short, my gf of 2 years left me a month and a half ago. We were madly in love, but she said that this was the wrong time for us, and that she wasnt ready to settle down. Im 28 she's 26. Her career demands focus and drive, along with travel and networking. My only flaw is that my confidence is lacking. And I understand that is the most unattractive thing a man can show a woman. Im working on it, have been. Up until about 2 weeks ago, she was sending me occasional messages, phone calls etc that asked how I was doing and always ended with I love you. Since then, zero contact, and I heard she was hanging out with someone way more successful than me. I want to keep fighting, and Im working on myself. Is it best to just leave her alone completely and work on me, or pursue her? What do the ladies think? Thanks
2007-12-02 10:29:15 · 11 answers · asked by rocknroll.johnny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You definitely just need to work on you. Spend some time focusing on yourself instead of her. And she's not going to want you to "actively pursue" her if she's in another relationship (and neither will her guy). Move on. Brush yourself off and move on to bigger and better things. It might feel like nothing could possibly be any better than her, but there can be something. Look for it!
2007-12-02 10:32:53 · answer #1 · answered by When Soft Voices Die 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would work on you first. You can send her the occasional text to let her know that you are still there and thinking of her but I would not actively pursue her until you have you worked out. Then you can go to her with the more confident you and show her that you know what you want and are now ready to come and get it.
2007-12-02 10:33:38 · answer #2 · answered by firemouse23 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're truly in love with her, you should pursue her. Not stalkerish though. Just send her a quick email asking her how she's doing or call. Try to sound casual like you've moved on and don't put "i love you", because she'll wonder why you don't love her anymore and she'll want you to love her. Girls like to have someone loving them at all times, so she'll probably email back. I know this is a hard time, but you'll make it through. If she doesn't email you back after a couple days, try to move on. If its meant to be it'll work out. Good luck with it. I'm rooting for you.
2007-12-02 10:36:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 2 years, she probably still loves you. But like you said, her job demands focus and travel, so maybe she wants to be okay with her job first.
I'd say you should leave her alone for a bit, and if it feels like she really wants you back, then I guess you could go ahead and pursue it, but if not, then leave her alone and work on becoming more confident.
2007-12-02 10:33:18 · answer #4 · answered by Alex F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you should work on yourself. Women and Men can come and go in our lives and in the end all we have is ourselves. Everything happens for a reason if you work on yourself, then you have her to thank for being a better man. This isn't to say that she will or will not come back to you but maybe you might work on the things that she saw that was wrong and that might make her realize that you are a really great guy. This might be a way of God saying that you need to spend time working on yourself.
2007-12-02 10:37:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave her alone. Work on you. Move on. There is someone out there who will make you leave your ex girlfriend in the dust. This is not a feel-good pep talk; it is fact, garnered from years of life.
2007-12-02 10:35:40 · answer #6 · answered by claudiacake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't read all that because I know my answer is to move on. Life is too short and there are too many other people in the world.
2007-12-02 10:33:37 · answer #7 · answered by dino213aa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont leave her alone completely talk to her and be her freind while you work on yourselve that way she knows your improving and doesnt forget you even tho shes having a differnt relationship
2007-12-02 10:33:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let ti be and see if she comes to you. if not try moving on. Good luck.Im sure she does not want to be chased
2007-12-02 10:33:15 · answer #9 · answered by newyorkgirl9413 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, if i were her i'd probably want you to contact me. . .but if she doesn't respond well (like sincerely) within a week. . . then i say stop and do your own thing.
2007-12-02 10:33:46 · answer #10 · answered by Lissa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋