I can't love this guy anymore. There is no way we can end up together, we will always be just friends. It is ripping me apart, and it is unhealthy. I already tried liking someone else, and I tried not talking to him for a while and it didn't work. Also keep in mind that he is one of my good friends, and I wouldn't want to do anything detrimental to our friendship. I don't think I'm just going to stop liking him with time, I don't know. So what do you all suggest I do?
2007-12-02 09:21:17 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
To people saying to stop thinking about him, or convince myself he's bad and such: I can't since I don't want to lose him as a friend. I still want to love him like a brother, I just don't want to be in love with him a romantic sense.
2007-12-02 09:26:55 · update #1
I already know there is no way of being with him. There are several reasons why not. I love him for him, not his looks or anything like that.
I think I might just have to force myself to go after some other guy. That might be the only way.
2007-12-02 09:40:23 · update #2
I don't know if I accidentally implied that I am with him...but we are only friends right now. He doesn't love me like I love him. My problem is that I don't want to love him like I do, not that I want to break up with him or anything (since we're not together).
2007-12-02 10:15:39 · update #3
Gawry - I really love your answer, and I agree. There is never too much love. But it's not that I want to stop loving him, I just want to love him differently. Which I guess is why I have found it so difficultly since there is nothing changing except for how I look at it, but I guess I just don't know how to. All my desires tell me to get closer to him, since he is such a special guy, but for the purposes of getting over him, I don't think that will work. I guess that's the first problem presented...I don't want to change our relationship, just my emotion.
I have never loved anyone so strongly. But I don't think it's entirely healthy for me. I tear myself apart over this, and I trick myself, and let myself down, but whenever I talk to him on the phone I can feel my heart thumping excitedly throughout my entire body. How can you even change that?
Maybe I can't. Maybe that is the answer.
He means so much to be.
But I feel like I'm just ranting now. Thanks all. I really appreciate it.
2007-12-02 22:29:49 · update #4
This happens to many people having the same situation with you. And that is to fall out of love from a guy. Since it came straight from your mouth that you won't end up with the guy except to be friends in the end. Well, you have to confront the guy. You must tell him that you don't want him anymore. You have to choose the right timing. Before doing this, there must be a valid basis. Otherwise it will really be unfair to him especially if he has not done anything wrong. Look, if you will just tell him out of the blue, that will be a shocking moment and you might not end as friends. If there is a valid reason, so start what i have suggested...... If not you will have the pain inside that cannot be released. When will it be then? It is only you who could tell..... It is matter of strong will and determination.
Good luck!
Thanks for asking. Have a great day!
2007-12-02 09:57:40 · answer #1 · answered by Third P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all if you can fall out of love with someone the you weren't really in love with them. Tell him the truth but be considerate, you want to stay friends. Don't stop talking to him, he's a friend. End the relationship and show him you two can still be friends.
2007-12-02 09:26:17 · answer #2 · answered by imperfect 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you just have to bear the pain
i liked this guy for like 4 years and i thought he was the 1, but now i can barley remember his name
there is this new guy.........
and if time doesn't heal all, try to do things that distract you from your social life, find a hobbie
i'm pretty sure you will have forgotten about him later
GOOD LUCK GIRLY!
2007-12-02 09:27:36 · answer #3 · answered by the girl the world forgot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Burn him out of your soul forever by creating a strong emotional argument why he is no good. It is the purpose behind negative emotions, hate can cancel out feelings like love. It will be very difficult to remain friends and not have those feelings create problems in your life. Its better to end it completely.
2007-12-02 09:24:47 · answer #4 · answered by Steve C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah, that's a hard one and I'm not sure you can really just "fall out of love" so easily, which I'm sure you know. Just try to start looking at all his quirks and bad points more than his good ones. Try to view some of the things he does as embarrassing instead of cute. Imagine the bad possible outcomes, and the consequences to dating him.
Good luck!
2007-12-02 09:25:54 · answer #5 · answered by ghostywingz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Imagine he was forty years older. Would you still be in love with him? No. So it's not him you're in love with, just has capacity to make babies with you and protect them.
Of course if he was forty years older and mega rich you might still be in love with him, but that's for the same reason (i.e. he would be a good provider and you would be rich even if he passed on).
It's all about reproduction.
Hope this helps.
2007-12-02 09:27:00 · answer #6 · answered by 2kool4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eugh I know the exact feeling, it's so frustrating.
I dont know, sometimes it helps to tell them because if you get rejected it helps you get over it. Once you know there will never ever be nothing between you it will be easier to stop liking him. That's what I think, but not through experience.
2007-12-02 09:27:23 · answer #7 · answered by Jess 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Spend a little less time with him. Get some new activities. Don't look at pictures of him.Fill your life with other things and he will slowly drift out to some degree.
2007-12-02 09:25:08 · answer #8 · answered by Puff 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no no no no no no no no no.
none of us have enough love in our lives. none of us can ever afford to throw that stuff away.
by all means love someone else. by all means devote yourself to someone else. but when you have once loved someone, never give it up (if you can help it).
think how good it is loving him. think how much better it makes you feel, even if you can't have him.
then share that love with someone else.
but don't waste what you already have.
2007-12-02 20:03:43 · answer #9 · answered by synopsis 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think it will be better if u tell him how u feel about him that u know that u cant love him and cant be together....then tell him that u still want to be freinds and dont want to change that but u only want to tell him how u felt because u wanted to get over him since it wont be.....
hope it goes well if u decided to tell him how u feel.....
2007-12-02 11:12:48 · answer #10 · answered by samantha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋