My boyfriend of four months has recently been bugging me about having a threesome. Whenever I reject his idea, he tells me that I'm being selfish. I don't think I'm being selfish. I just don't want to see him with someone else, and I get jealous fairly easily. He doesn't understand any point of view that's not his, and last night he jokingly said, "Fine then, well, I'm going to find a girl that will have one and leave you for her." He tells me that if I love him, I'd have a threesome. I think that the fact that I won't shows that I love him more. Does anyone have any ideas as to what I could say to him that might make him understand what I'm feeling better?
2007-12-02 09:02:49 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't think he loves you at all. He is manipulating your own feelings of guilt at refusing him just so he can get two girls in the sack. He's made it pretty obvious too that he doesn't care if you are involved in his plan or not.
If I were you, I would just ditch the guy. The only thing you stand to gain if you convince him not to have a threesome is that you are keeping a guy who is less than what you deserve.
2007-12-02 09:07:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
You are right, he is wrong. 4 months in and he's thinking this way is NOT a good sign sweetie! If he can't respect your thoughts and reasons for not wanting to do as he is trying to get you to do, then I'd say that you have to have a serious think about where this relationship is going. Also, think of other values that are important to you, and find out how many, if any, he shares with you.
An idea, to help you communicate with him about this threesome business of his, would be to show him this question on here, and for you and he to sit and discuss each answer given. Maybe then, he will understand more about where you are coming from on this. Good luck with it.
2007-12-02 17:15:15 · answer #2 · answered by Rich 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bin the idiot find someone that respects you as for being selfish tell him you will show him selfish and dont give him any never mind a threesome. i would never ask a girlfriend that. he says he will cheat you have to break it off its not right and if you dont respect yourself who will this guy is a loser leave him and watch him beg you to take him back what a joke he is he is not a man just a little kid with a fantasy with no respect for women just tell him you dont think he would last 3 mins in a threesome and dont want to embarrasss him anyway you asked a question listen to the advice bin the **** you might think he is all dreamy and that but he wants to have sex with other women with your permission while you watch dump him now or forever live in grief he is a jerk and all he deserves is to be jerking off for the rest of his life slap his face kick his nuts and show him the door find a real man
2007-12-02 17:15:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahem. Let me help shed some light on this subject for you here if I may. First of all, him telling YOU that he'll just go out and find a "girl who will do it(three-some)" AND leave YOU for HER shows some BIG-TIME amounts of emotional/mental manipulation he's using already on you(think Geoffrey Dalmer here and all his victims if you please because that's what he did too). Again, your love for him does NOT have to involve a pornographic movie scene to prove your love to him either.And at four months, the least he could do is be considerate enough and ask if YOU want the back massage tonight!And no, you're not being selfish, you're being protective about your body(think AIDS and you and him and her in bed together for ONE night). As to what to tell him, tell him to not let the door hit him in the butt on the way out of your life!
2007-12-02 17:15:54 · answer #4 · answered by mangamaniaciam 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't go out with him still, he obviously does not love u at all, if he did, then he wouldn't want to have a threesome, now, what u can do, is tell him to take a hike (its over), because what will eventually happen if u guys did, is.... u will end up getting hurt somehow and someway, and then u will be the one that has to take a hike, and then he will start dating that other person, now I don't think that u would want that to happen, well i hope not.
2007-12-02 17:08:45 · answer #5 · answered by wildride07 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he keeps pushing you to do things you don't want to do, then he'll be the one who is selfish.
I think threesome is best to be done where they are not related to one another and that keeps out of jealous problem.
If you are a couple, then you have to think twice before you do it and how to handle things if such a feeling comes up. Even when you have decided to do it, and it turns out then that you don't like it, you have to talk about it, and whatever happen in the future you don't mention it again to avoid miscommunication.
In your case, you have to ensure him as if he is in your shoes. If he keeps pushing about threesome with the other girl, what about doing three's with the other boy. Would he be jealous seeing you with the boy?
Though his answer is 'not jealous', you have to think about your relationship. Threesome is not common, but yet happens a lot. Some people enjoy it, but most are not. You don't have to push yourself to do it, either with mmf or ffm combination. The best thing to do is to withdraw with your relationship, and dump him.
2007-12-02 21:23:14 · answer #6 · answered by Dee D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I havt always hated when someone gave me advice of what to do in a situation, but this is a clear case of leave him.
He doesn't love you. . .Sounds like you believe you are worth one man loving you....so dont waste your time. The longer you stay, the more time you will waste. We as women get so attached, or feel stuck, so easily. Don't do it. I would leave mine the day he wanted another woman in his life. He is not what you want. Unless you want a fly by night threesome sex partner.
2007-12-02 17:13:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, tell him that you'll have a threesome as long as the third is a guy. And then he'll see it differently. If not- he's being an ***, the fact that you don't want it truly does show that you love him more, and he's using cheap-*** crappy excuses like if you love me you'll do it, and that's bullshit. If he loves you- he'd get that a no is a no
2007-12-02 17:09:18 · answer #8 · answered by Red Raven 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be glad you are going through this before you are married. You have to have boundaries in the bedroom that are very clear and defined. If he can't respect your boundaries then he needs to hit the road and you need a real man. I'm not talking about trying out new things but that is a request that is pretty big. It's one thing to play dress up but a whole nother thing to bring other people into your bedroom. If you aren't comfortable DON'T DO IT! Both of you have to feel good about it. Good luck and respect yourself. I hope this helps.
2007-12-02 17:12:22 · answer #9 · answered by 84cj 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is selfish and thinks of you as nothing more than a sex toy thats it.Dump him yesterday and find a man who RESPECTS you, he doesnt and NOTHING you can do will make him.He wants what he wants and will get it even if it means hurting you to do it.
He does NOT love you or he wouldnt be trying to force you to do something so vulgar and UNGODLY!What happens if you BOTH got pregnant, or all 3 of you got a disease?Or the other girl turns out to be obsessive compulsive and either wants him or you?
He hasnt thought about NAY of this.All he cares about is his perverted fantasy.DUMP HIM!Dump him good!
2007-12-02 17:13:32 · answer #10 · answered by Joe F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋