A friend of the father I haven't seen in ten years (three before that) gave me his phone number and those of his other two kids the other day. I called my siblings right away because I've missed them terribly. They told me he has colon cancer that spread to the liver. It is aparently shrinking with chemo but still is a serious thing. I know what it is to be sick and in the hospital all the time ( I have sickle cell). It sucks. A part of me can't help feeling though that he didn't come to me those many times I was ill so... I know that only I can make the decision but I'd appreciate some thoughts on the matter.
2007-12-02 08:53:47 · 8 answers · asked by Rosie 2 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
A moderate solution to your problem may be to send a card, in lieu of calling. As someone who is afflicted with a life-long medical condition yourself, you offer a unique perspective on the monotony of hospital days, "special" diets, and favorite staffers. Sincere words are the most appreciated, so don't feel like you have to make it sappy for it to mean anything. Remember that laughter is the best medicine, so even offering something light-hearted will brighten anyone's day. Good luck, and hopes of a full recovery for you & yours.
2007-12-02 09:03:11 · answer #1 · answered by Maureen W 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
ok, U should. U are going thru the same thing, and u can identify with him. It is only natural for u to be angry, I would be too, and even go as far to say, he got what he deserved, BUT, that isnt what u are asking me. I would say, call, and let your heart be your... geez, that is mushy!!! ok,. call him, tell him u are angry with his absenteeism, and disappointed in him, but tell him u are there for him, if he needs u. use the word " need" , k, cuz it sounds hopeful. Don't push him away cus he may die and u will feel like crap. I know this to be true, been there, without the cancer on my part, done that. Dad had colon cancer too, and i miss him too, even at 40. ( he died when i was 24) and I was his favorite. Dads often feel pushed away, maybe he felt like he was doing you no good being in your life. I dunno. But now is the time to " kiss and make up" so to speak. After all, it IS the holidays, and maybe use that as an excuse to call him. It can be an ice breaker! Good luck and best wishes!
2007-12-02 09:06:04 · answer #2 · answered by Dragonflygirl 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
In my humble opinion, even as uncomfortable as it will be to call him or visit. Keep in mind that he's dying and this may be your last chance. If not to say good bye, then to make amends. It's ok to have regrets and I'm sure he has many. But the fact he had a friend contact you...maybe he wants to tell you he's sorry.
I think it would be better for you, the both of you, if you let go of old feelings and guilt and reconciled.
2007-12-02 12:33:49 · answer #3 · answered by Dr Joe Blow 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My biological father had a stroke and after that he gave my mother a number I could call him. I didn't call and six months later he had one that killed him. I felt terrible even though he was never in my life. I f I had it to do again i would have called him. You never know you may be filling a dying mans last request. I hope everything works out for you.
2007-12-02 09:04:40 · answer #4 · answered by Ray 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Call him. You'll know within the first few seconds if you made the right choice by the way he reacts. No matter how it turns out, you will know that You tried one last time and it will give you closure one way or the other. Good Luck
2007-12-02 09:20:41 · answer #5 · answered by goalaska 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My dad died from the same thing and it happened fast. Ask yourself if once he's gone, will you regret not seeing him. You can be a bigger person than he was when you were so ill.
2007-12-02 09:07:45 · answer #6 · answered by mmhammack 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I say do it for yourself. He wasn't a father, but you may want to know what is happening.
2007-12-02 11:00:37 · answer #7 · answered by Simmi 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
call him
2007-12-02 09:01:23 · answer #8 · answered by whata waste 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋