Could I get some advice and viewpoints from Mothers and Daughters who have/had problems getting along?

Question

My teenage daughter lives with her Mom primarily and I am caught in the middle of their fighting. It has been ongoing and when it gets to a certain point, there is talk of her moving in with me. I have no problem with that but her Mom has the 8-4 job and I have the whenever to whenever job and often work late. It is a better scenario at her Mom's as far as someone being there. But they are having a lot of difficulties. I know it is typical with girls and moms as they grow up to have friction, but I just want what is best for her and regardless of her Mom and my relationship, I still think they should get along better, even if she does move with me. Your thoughts and experiences would be appreciated. Thanks.

Thanks for the answers, was hoping for a few more, but appreciate the input. I do try and support her Mom but it's not easy, the less we talk the better we get along.

Answer 1

I have had similar problems with my youngest child. Mainly it wasn't me saying she had to go live with her father, it was her constantly throwing it in my face every time she didn't get her way, that she would leave and move in with her father. Finally, I had to call her bluff and say, "Then go."

My ex was really good about it. She would call him and he would let her blow off steam for a little while but then he would back me up ( most of the time) and tell her that she needs to work it out with me.

She is currently living with her father and desperately wants to come home. But the truth is down here she was just really making poor choices and hanging out with the wrong crowd. Down there, there are 2 adults because he has remarried so there is more around the clock supervision. She's there until she graduates unless something major happens.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

I would stay out of it for the most part, unless the daughter is being abused by her mother. It doesn't sound like that's the case. Your daughter may be exaggerating the situation for her own purposes. Don't let them drag you into it. You can listen to your daughter complain for a little bit, then encourage her to find ways to live with her mom. But don't become a 'problem solver' here because you will fail.

Answer 3

As a once teenage daughter of divorced parents. Parents & teenages fight! It happens. If she lived w/ you full time, she'd be fighting w/ you.

If there's no physical abuse I'd leave the situation as it is. It sounds like it works easier. Just offer to spend more time if you can. Take her out more on the weekends or an occasional evening - just to give them a break away from eachother. And, be careful not to "bad- mouth" the mother in front of your daugher. No need to "feed the fire". It'll all pass with time. Good luck! :)

Answer 4

This may not be what you wish to hear. No matter which parent a teen lives with, there will be issues. Especially if a parent is a parent........and not simply a "friend".