fistfight and is now being taken to court. She got angy with me during a drunken rage two nights ago and threatened to leave. I got up out of the chair, said BYE!, and went to bed. Now, part of her stuff is gone, but her clothes and everyday needs are still here. I think she plans to come here to dress everyday. This is not the first time she has pulled this kind of thing. Should I change the locks?
2007-12-02 08:11:27 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If your sister is going to stay an active part of your life I recommend that you contact AlAnon and find a local chapter where you live. They can help you deal with the alcoholic in your life so that you aren't driven crazy by them and so you don't accidently enable the alcoholic.
as to whether or not to change the locks...it depends on if you want or trust your sister to enter your home when ever she wants. If you think she's not trustworthy or that she's dangerous, then change the locks, pack her stuff up in boxes and store them where you can get to them easily to return them to her when she comes to get her stuff.
good luck to you.
2007-12-02 08:20:40 · answer #1 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, Change the locks. Make sure that you have a good locksmith come by and do it. Even if it costs a little more it will be done right and they usually know the greatest new locks to put on that no one can just pick. Also your sister needs a slap into reality so that she won't be pulling this kind of CRAP all the time. People get tired of drunks crap. She needs you to teach her a lesson to stop her before she hurts herself from drinking all the time and alcoholism. Take all her stuff and put it into some trash bags of some sort and place it on the corner of the driveway that way she knows she is OUT for good !!! GOOD LUCK !!! TOUGH LOVE !!!!
2007-12-02 16:23:43 · answer #2 · answered by Joe A 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes, that would be one thing to do. Up until that time, put a chain on the front and back door. Do not have any qualms
about keeping your sister out of your life. Until she decides for herself, to stop drinking there is nothing you can do for her. An Alcoholic usually has to hit bottom before they start to change, and sometimes they never change.
I presume this is your home. So you have the right to change the locks. If I were you I would cover by yourself, by packing up everything that belongs to her and leaving a message at her work, (without letting the people at her work know what you are doing) telling her you have put her belongings.......?
Pick a dry shed, or somewhere outside the house. Do not put it out in the weather, because she could sue you for that.
Do not let her in the house to get her things, just arrange for her to pick them up elsewhere. First, though, change the locks.
2007-12-02 16:48:37 · answer #3 · answered by Maureen S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Loved the responses you got - they're dead on correct - all of them. Now it's YOUR responsibility to do the right thing by you and by your sister. Continuing living in chaos, violent situations, disasters-waiting to happen makes you as much a part of the problem as your sister. Detach with love, and you can best find out how to do that in Al Anon. Give it a try. Tell your sister that you love HER, but HATE her behavior. Tell her you have faith in her that she will recover, and when she does, you'll be eager to rekindle the healthy relationship you once might have had.
Remember, if you're not the problem, there is no solution. Take care of YOU, and things around you naturally work themselves out. Very best of luck. Oh, and pray for her that she gets everything she needs, wants and deserves. Pray for guidance for you.
2007-12-02 16:57:27 · answer #4 · answered by LOVEISTHEANSWER 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely. It is your home for which she should be grateful to be able to stay at. You shouldn't have to put up with her drunken rages and her threats. In fact you are really enabling her to cont. these dysfunctional behaviors.
I would pack her stuff in a box, change the locks and let her know that it just isn't working and until she is clean and sober, she can't live with you again.
2007-12-02 16:34:17 · answer #5 · answered by wondermom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should only change the locks if u know she will be ok she is your sister. and it is obvious she needs help so ask your self the question who helps her when you dont that will give you your answer to changing the locks... but there is a limit and i would make some kind of time to give her the chance if she wants to live with you to join a self help group as the only option for staying under my roof.
2007-12-02 16:38:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes change the locks and then pack her stuff and take her to the homeless shelter .Explain to her no one likes living with a drunk and she can either destroy herself with alcohol, or get a grip, do something about her problem.
2007-12-02 16:20:37 · answer #7 · answered by Joe F 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes. She needs help and tell her to go do something constructive on her own, like joining Alcoholics Anonymous. It's cheaper than court and jail.
2007-12-02 16:17:48 · answer #8 · answered by Laurie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she lives with you then you have to give her notice to leave.After the time is up then you can chance the locks and throw her stuff out.I think you have to give her 30 days.(don't know your laws there)Call your police dept.and ask them how many days.You don't have to give your name
2007-12-02 16:24:45 · answer #9 · answered by mamaw2305 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋