It seems like everyday at my workplace they are collecting for something. bridal showers, baby showers, retirements etc. I AM SICK OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now there is a holiday party they are collecting for. They want to collect 20 dollars a person to get it catered from a local deli. Which means to me 20 dollars for a stinking sandwich. I have had enough and I don't want to contibute my money anymore. My husband thinks I should just chip in because it is not worth the entire office hating me. But I bring my own lunch in each day and to me, this day is no different from the rest. What should I do?
2007-12-02 07:48:32 · 17 answers · asked by Beachgirl123 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I wish offices would stop this kind of "forced giving" and silliness. Some of us, even professionals, after taxes and health care are left just being able to pay our bills and little else.
My husband and I are 41 and are trying to figure out when if ever would we be able to retire, because there is always some demand on the little money we have and we cannot save any at all. So to "require" people to chip in $20 here, and $5 there, all adds up and takes away from the money we all need to LIVE on. Better just to give people a nice card or note wishing them the best.
2007-12-02 08:01:03 · answer #1 · answered by C L 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You basically have two choices, and nothing is wrong with either choice, you simply need to decide how you want to be perceived at work. First, you can bite the bullet and keep contributing to office causes. If you decide to do this, try to get into the spirit of the giving (the new mom-to-be is probably really excited about their new addition; the money for the deli catering is so everyone can wish Happy Holidays to each other, etc). Your coworkers will appreciate your participation, but you'll have to cough up the dough. Your second choice is to politely but firmly say "while I offer my good wishes to the new mom/bride (or wish happy holidays to all of you), I would rather not participate in the group gift/lunch/etc." You have every right to choose this, and will save money, but you may find yourself excluded from your coworkers' future social events, and some may not like you as well for not participating. How important are the opinions of your coworkers to you? If friendship at work is not something you are seeking, then opting out is an option for you. If it is very important to you, you probably want to keep joining in.
p.s. $20 for deli fixin's does seem like a lot of money: maybe you could offer to call around for some more competitively priced lunches! We cater into our office for boxed lunches that usually run $8-$10 apiece.
2007-12-02 16:11:40 · answer #2 · answered by Ann K 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
20 dollars is alot for you to contribute towards an office party. I've never worked anywhere that the company did not sponsor this event but why not suggest a potluck, where everyone brings something? More than likely other people feel the same as you and they will be thankful for a more cost-sensitive way to celebrate the holidays. As for contributing towards gifts for co-workers, while it would mean alot to them they probably wouldn't want people contributing that don't really want to participate. Don't do it out of obligation. Do it because it is a kind thing to do for people that you work with.
2007-12-02 18:41:22 · answer #3 · answered by bay 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You don't need to spend $ on a party you won't enjoy. Tell them if the business isn't sponsoring the party, you can't afford to attend it. Holidays are expensive enough without funding something you won't enjoy.
Keep a low profile when escaping this one, after New Years you can think about how to stop the overall problem of collections. Work is supposed to pay, not cost.
2007-12-02 16:48:13 · answer #4 · answered by Jen 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell them you can't afford it. What are they gonna do, demand that they see your budget? Give you grief because THEY continue to do it (and really don't want to?) If they are that jerky then I would try to find another job at another company. Some offices strongarm people into socializing when you are really just there to work-- what a concept!! Maybe other people agree with you and there will be an uprising. Truly, the COMPANY should pay for the holiday party and cakes if they want to do that. My company does that for us, and I only donate to gifts if I am friends outside the workplace.
2007-12-02 22:03:23 · answer #5 · answered by shrinkydinkheart 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Simple don't contribute to it anymore but then know when it's your retirement or your leaving for a new job that they won't recipricate. I'm sure your okay with that.
In my office they send around an envelope to contribute. Sometimes it's for people I dont' even know. I don't contribute to those ones.
Other times they want a casual day to raise money for new office decorations. It does get out of hand and you need to set your own limits.
However if you are not willing to contribute to the catered meal then perhaps say you will bring your lunch that day that you don't want to spend $20 for lunch. If it's events outside of the office then go...dont isolate yourself but order something smaller on the menu or a drink and eat your lunch at the office.
People will love to spend you money. Its' alright to make your own decisions about what to do with your money.
2007-12-02 16:47:41 · answer #6 · answered by Violet 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I also work in an area where we are constantly collecting monies for some event. I personally give what I can afford. You can wrap your contribution in a piece paper and place it into a plain, white envelope, if you do not want anyone to know how much you are giving. And... if the amount given gets spilled of what you actually gave, at least you know whom you don't want collecting your money next time! Put a smile on your face and just think, next time the collection could be for you!!!!
Sweetkirvin_1999
2007-12-02 16:14:27 · answer #7 · answered by sweetkirvin_1999 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋
i would tell them that you are bringing in your own lunch that day and you don't want the catered meal. plain and simple. i really wouldn't care if they are upset with me. i get where you are coming from. $20 if a lot of money to me too. i simply couldn't afford it and if that is the situation for you, then that's what i would tell them. if you really care about what they think and want them to like you, then bring in homemade cookies or something another day. it may be cheaper than the $20 and maybe they would appreciate it. as far as contributing to group gifts, just don't contribute $ if you don't want to. tell them no. if you are worried about upsetting them, then tell them you are going to bring in your own gift. make a card, craft, or homemade meal to contribute. it would be cheaper and probably appreciated more anyway. hope this helps!
2007-12-02 15:56:49 · answer #8 · answered by jen19music 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Make a questionnaire asking people if they want to participate or not. Also hang up a note asking people if they want to participate or not.
If you're in the minority, seek an other job, or participate.
2007-12-02 16:07:33 · answer #9 · answered by gompy_usa 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
tell the boss you need a raise or you won't be chipping in at all because you can't afford to. with the prices of everything going up at a rockets pace - who can afford it? let him know you aren't one of the 'keep up with the jones' kind of people.
2007-12-02 16:01:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋