My friend(w/benefits, I must add..& we have feelings for each other ) has told me that I need to come out of my shell more & get out of my routine...do something like wild & crazy I guess since I just got divorced. I've never been the wild party girl type & I'm pretty sure I never will be. I've always been shy & been pretty much a good girl. He said he thinks the sex is good between us. He knows I've only ever slept with my husband before him. I don't sleep around...I'm not that type of girl either. He also told me that we need to work on my skills "down there" as far as oral goes. I told him that I know everybody is different but that I could always please my husband. Which is true...he never had any problems or complaints. Anybody else think that he's being a bit insensitive about all this...or is it just me? He's making me feel self conscious & like I'm not exciting enough in his eyes b/c I have pretty much been a "good girl" all my life. Do guys not like good girls?
2007-12-02 07:46:56 · 20 answers · asked by thisgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
by the looks of what u have said i'd date you & marry you in a heartbeat , Girls like you have dissapeared from the face of the earth , what the hell is your guy thinking ?
2007-12-02 07:50:56 · answer #1 · answered by s_man_1978 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It really sounds like he is trying to end it with you - little complaints about your "performance" - suggesting you "get more experience" he is trying ever so to tell you it is over. It looks like time to move on. You are just getting divorced and he was a safety net I am not suggesting you bang the local tavern but maybe spend some quality time on your own deciding what you want out of your next relationship. This guy sounds like a player and since you are not you need to move on. It will be better for you if you joined a book club or some other group to fill the nights and keep you busy than to expect this guy will ever be there to really keep you warm. Good Luck and be true to yourself the rest will work out.
2007-12-02 16:00:17 · answer #2 · answered by Walking on Sunshine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's criticizing you, RUN! Get away from him. Because he may not be intentionally hurting you, but after enough time, the criticism will destroy your self-esteem. I'm dealing with that myself right now. You need someone to be sensitive toward your feelings especially since you just got divorced. It wouldn't hurt you to mix things up a little and get out of your routine. Some excitement in your life opens new perspectives. But don't do it because someone else thinks you should. If he can't accept you for who you are without trying to change you, you don't need him. In fact, he will just bring you down.
2007-12-02 15:53:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he wants a wild party slut and since he sees you with one foot in the door by having sex without ANY commitment(I do NOT mean this as an insult), then he figures he can groom you to be the perfect shack up party girl.
I bet if you told him you were pregnant he would dump you yesterday.Also how will drugs and alcohol improve your life?
"FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS" is merely code for "I will use you for sex until I become interested in someone else then will flush you like used toilet paper".
After entering a non commital relationship with sex,how would you think you are too good for him when you are lowering yourself to his standards to accomodate him?
2007-12-02 15:57:12 · answer #4 · answered by Joe F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you're better off without him. Who is he to tell you that you're not good enough sexually? If he doesn't like what he's getting, he can hit the door.... in my opinion.
And you don't need to change for anybody. You're fabulous the way you are. As soon as you start changing for someone, you're trapped in a relationship where you get NO say. So take control. He can have you as you are--take it or leave it... but I'd say you need to break it off with him ASAP.
2007-12-02 15:56:27 · answer #5 · answered by marisa_g1rl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a relationship like that and it ended bad! RUN while you can! lol! Otherwise he will just take all your self confidence out of you and then dump you and its hard to get it back. You should never let a guy ruin who you truly are and that's from experience.
2007-12-02 15:52:27 · answer #6 · answered by irish20 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lady he is one of two things. Either an A$H or an open communicator. Either way if you are uncomfortable you should look elsewhere. Life is way too short to keep second guessing yourself.
2007-12-02 15:54:36 · answer #7 · answered by gimpalomg 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my experience if the guy has problems then it is he who needs to work on his problems.
It is either he loves/wants you or he doesn't. If he is happy he'd not worry about what you can do or not do.
Surprises are not that bad, maybe one day when you are alone and he is in the kitchen get naked and slip into bed, then call him in to help you with your problems.
2007-12-02 15:52:22 · answer #8 · answered by TTFN10000 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
guys do like good girls, nad I agree everyone is different. It takes time to learn what a new partner likes. Perhaps he needs to become more involved when you give oral, and let you know what he likes (perhaps say 'that feels good' when you are doing something he enjoys). Make mental notes of what he says he likes.
2007-12-02 15:51:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are way too good for this selfish lover. He is willing to lay back and criticize yet not willing to teach how to pleasure him adequately. His problem you sound like a real catch to any man.
2007-12-02 15:57:40 · answer #10 · answered by wrathofkahn03 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋