I worked for a company for years, and they were bought out. The new MD took a disliking to me (wanted all his own staff) and made my life so bad I left. I had to take a lower paid job elsewhere ( I had worked my way up the old company).
Anyway, I have discovered that he has been having an affair with a woman at work for 2 months - he has only been married for 4!
His wifes family live next door to my mother - and I know just by telling my mother the family would find out. His wife would surely take him to the cleaners. I am so tempted to ruin things for him like he did to me. The whole company are talking about his behaviour with this girl - and they even booked a double room together at the xmas do!
It isnt the first time - he left his first wife while she was carrying his third child for the woman he has just married!
What would you do?
2007-12-02 07:41:48 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
My advice is don't lower yourself to his standards! Wait and watch, sooner rather than later he will self destruct! This way you don't carry any guilt complex!!!
2007-12-02 08:33:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 2⤋
Wow that's a nasty situation. He sounds like a total basta**. Perhaps this woman should be saved the long term heartache and know the truth. On the other hand maybe it's kinda not your business to get involved in....
If it were me I think I might have to let her know. Although surely if he did it to his first wife, she must know that it is a little bit possible that he could cheat on her too. It is merely a bonus that you get some sort of revenge (always best served cold). However, you really need to be 120% sure that he is having an affair with this other woman. Otherwise you are causing pain where there is no need for there to be any.
p.s I really like Heidi's blackmailing idea lol
2007-12-02 07:49:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
When you play with you dirt you are bound to get dirty. Mind your own business. For whatever reason you are placing blame for your career on this man, what about the original company? They apparently were in financial trouble or there would not been a need to sell in the first place. Take responsibility for your own career. If you had to take a lower paying job, maybe it's time that you go back to school and get a higher education so that in the future companies will be competing for you.
Just because you know a bit of gossip does not mean it's your place to tell. You are bitter towards this man and it is going to be your downfall. When you hold on to ill feelings towards someone you are usually the one who suffers in the end. Also ask yourself, would you want someone...another woman at that, coming to you about your husband or boyfriend? For all you know this woman (the wife) already knows, and doesn't care. If the facts are as you say(and I tend to wonder how you know so much of their business and you are only an outsider looking in), then the wife knows what kind of man she is married too. You also need to consider how YOU will come out looking if you choose to open your mouth and reveal things that you know. You don't know if it will get back to your current job that you are messy and a shyt starter, and you could possibly lose your new job.The same advice goes for your mother, why are you all such busy-bodies? Are you proud to be so nosey? If so, my advice, and any other advice warning you to stay out of it, will go unheeded, cause you are only looking for some other busy-bodies to encourage you to do the wrong thing...which some have already done.
Though my message may come off as negative do not misinterpret my "tone-of-type." I just think you need to look down EVERY avenue before you decide which road to travel. I hope you will do the right MORAL thing, and disprove the theory that women are jealous, vengeful, and bitter creatures whose sole purpose in life is to make men lives miserable.
2007-12-02 08:04:10 · answer #3 · answered by phree 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Sounds to me like the woman he is married to now was a home wrecker to begin with, so she deserves him. She might be just as bad as he is. No matter what type of family you have, that doesn't mean that is the type of person you become. The next door neighbors might be good, upstanding people. But if YOU know he was messing around with this woman while he was married, surely the woman knew as well. She already knew what she was getting into and took that chance.
He may have hurt you and that might make you very mad. But she made her bed, now she gets to lay in it. I suggest you just let your anger go. It isn't hurting anybody but you. Your being mad at him is not affecting him in the least, so your harboring the hurt for nothing. Sometimes the best revenge is no revenge at all, he will not go unpunished in the end.
2007-12-02 08:21:00 · answer #4 · answered by bigbootyhootchie 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Even though it may be seen as a method of revenge against your old boss, I think you should get the word out to the new wife. People keep saying "she'll find out eventually" - would you want to know now or 10 years down the line? True, she was his mistress, so I guess you could say what goes around comes around. And yes, she may already even know. But shouldn't SOMEONE tell the wife in case she's the only one who doesn't know?? Be sure to mention that you have no proof, though... just word of mouth.
2007-12-02 08:03:23 · answer #5 · answered by WonderingMyself 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
While telling his wife and screwing him over sounds like excellent fun, it really is not your place at all. How would you like a complete stranger coming up to you and telling you your husband is cheating on you?? And having your mom gossip to the neighbors is DEEEEEEEEFINITELY not the answer. Hearing through the gossip grapevine would be the ultimate in humiliation.
If he left his first wife for this woman, she obviously knows that he is not the model faithful husband. She's going to find out eventually and then she will be able to take her due revenge.
2007-12-02 07:56:53 · answer #6 · answered by miss_ashleigh4u 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, you should not tell anyone. His new wife is just as wrong as her husband. As they say pay back is a ***** !! This new wife helped to destroy another family. It is only right that she gets the same treatment. As for the MD, I am sure that his demise in that company is coming soon. What goes around, always comes around.
2007-12-02 08:01:10 · answer #7 · answered by anniceisland 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it's up to you, but personally, i would stay out of it. maybe it's just me, but i like as little drama in my life as possible. getting back at him might be tempting, but what would you really accomplish? his life won't change. he'll just get with this new girl if his wife kicks him out, but the wife will be left hanging high and dry (maybe with children too.) you won't get your job back. i think the only person that will be hurt is the wife. ya, she's being hurt now, but i'd say eventually she will catch onto it on her own. who knows? maybe she knows about it already. believe it or not, some women just don't care. hope this helps!
2007-12-02 07:49:28 · answer #8 · answered by jen19music 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oooh juicy isn't it? I would love to say that I'd let it slip, but it's not always that easy! I suppose it depends if anyone found out the information came from you. I think you should also bear in mind that you are intent on having revenge on just him, there might be wider implications, for instance are there children involved that will be effected by this break up?
2007-12-02 07:48:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do, someone will get really hurt and it won't be you. Revenge sounds nice but if he's such a wanker, it will be like water off a ducks back to him. His wife however, may be devastated although i suspect she knows what a little creep he really is.. Be sure to think this through properly before you do anything. I would blackmail the little **** btw.
2007-12-02 07:47:51 · answer #10 · answered by Heidi. 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all... It's terrible to hear of horrible people like this!!!
Honestly, if it were me, I would tell someone in a heartbeat. He doesn't deserve to be doing this to his wife. Don't do it out of revenge, do it to bring out the truth and set things right.
I was in a long-term relationship and found out the whole time he was cheating on me. I took it pretty hard, but I think the blow would have been a lot less if I found out earlier and not after our engagement. I'm thankful I found out before we had kids!!
I wish someone I knew would have seen him with another girl and told me, rather than waiting years before finding out myself. I would want someone to confront me and tell me the truth, even if I choose not to believe the, at least I would have been forewarned.
Please, don't wait. Just tell someone, even if it means confronting his wife in person. She doesn't deserve such a horrible man in her life.
2007-12-02 08:38:49 · answer #11 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋