Funny sayings?

Question

I’m a controversial figure: my friends either dislike me or hate me.
Learning is not compulsory… neither is survival.
Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.
A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat.
A technical objection is the first refuge of a scoundrel.
Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

It is better to wear out than to rust out.
Nature never deceives us; it is we who deceive ourselves.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
Democracy is the name we give the people whenever we need them.
If you bow at all, bow low.
DIPLOMACY, n. The patriotic art of lying for one’s country.
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.
With time and patience the mulberry leaf becomes a silk gown.
Like its politicians and its wars, society has the teenagers it deserves.
Laughter is inner jogging.
Someday is not a day of the week.
Make service your first priority, not success and success will follow.
I must govern the clock, not be governed by it.
Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
When your work speaks for itself, don’t interrupt.
Character is much easier kept than recovered.
If you don’t believe in something, you’ll fall for anything.

Answer 1

Lol, funny 10/10

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

On the other hand you have different fingers.

Change is inevitable except from a vending machine.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

Those who live by the sword... get shot by those who don't.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

He's not dead... he's electroencephalographically challenged.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

You can't have everything....where would you put it?

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.

The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

I wished the buck stopped here as I could use a few.

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt"

Answer 2

Funny! 10!

Answer 3

10/10!!!

Answer 4

I actually had trouble getting my head round some of them, but they were very good, and sooooo true!
I'm going to take some of them in to work...thank you!

Answer 5

hahaha
10/10

Answer 6

ha ha ha funny
thanks for a laugh
10/10

Answer 7

Very good

Answer 8

ha ha

Answer 9

hehehe, you on a roll hun, pmsl

star time

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Answer 10

nice n clever