About 12 to 13 years ago this guy had a crush on me when we were in school. I was w/this other guy though who I ended up marrying. We were married 7 years & just recently got divorced. Like 2 weeks after our divorce was final I ran into the guy that had liked me years ago & we've been talking ever since...he says we ran into each other for a reason. My ex & him knew each other...they weren't close friends...but they hung around some of the same people so they were cool w/each other. Anyway, I am attracted to this guy too but he's not looking to be serious right now. We've hooked up a couple times. He wants to be fwb first so we can be careful & take it slow. I don't want just casual sex. We had a talk the other day about what to do & he says he has feelings for me but he hasn't been calling as much as before & now I just feel like he doesn't like me as much. Why would he put me thru this when he knows what I just got out of(my husband cheated) Why would he hurt me also?
2007-12-02 05:09:37 · 14 answers · asked by love my life 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he wasn't rejected by me before......he never asked me out back then or even talked to me
2007-12-02 05:15:23 · update #1
You've been divorced for two weeks, recently hooked up with a guy you haven't really thought about in a dozen years, had the talk with him already and you're wondering why he's slowing it down?
Slow down, have some patience. Let things develop naturally.
2007-12-02 05:13:35 · answer #1 · answered by Dan H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you this, but there is nothing SLOW about FWB! I have ran into a few of these in my short life as well, I fell for it once because I had liked this guy so very much. He never commited. He wound up knocking up another chick and then married her....MY LOSS RIGHT? WRONG!!! I just think back and say, "Wow, that could've been me!" OMG! But just think that when you married your first husband and that he had hung out w/ this other guy you like so much, just please keep in mind that they had run with the same crowd. This guy is probably well aware of what you had gone through w/ your ex, that is why he is staying his distance but reaping the benefits of being in an actual relationship. So stay away from anybody that used to know, or still does know your ex-husband. Get rid of this guy. Don't ever give it up for free, it will always make you feel like crap afterwords. Good luck with this one, and God bless you. Take Care.
2007-12-02 05:28:09 · answer #2 · answered by jenn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are two weeks into your single life. You are vulnerable and hypersensitive to everything. Proceeding with caution is very important right now. I understand the need for companionship, but the reality is you're asking too much from someone right now. You are newly divorced and reconnecting with an old classmate. Both of you have changed; it's unrealistic to think that he's been pining away for you these last 13 years, waiting for this very opportunity. You've hooked up, and now he's not as interested. You're not in a committed relationship with him, and he told you he wasn't ready to get serious. You knew that going in, so you can't lay the blame for how you feel completely on him. Be honest with yourself and admit that you're in a needy phase; guys have limits when it comes to needy women. I'm very sympathetic to where you are emotionally. But, in order to save yourself further heartache, you have to be honest with yourself and go into a cooling off period. Take time to adjust to your new life and new emotions. Focus on things that give you pleasure that don't revolve around men. Don't look at men as being the next potential relationship, but deal with the loss of your marriage. Even though it may have been the best idea for you, it's still a loss. Consider this situation a very valuable lesson; remind yourself that it's a situation you don't want to repeat. Give yourself time to heal.
2016-05-27 06:17:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't you think that you are just very vulnerable right now especially getting out of a 7 year marriage. He is totally playing on that and if he's already slept with you, he's not as interested as he once was. You were hurt by your ex-husband and now he is doing the same thing. You need to think about yourself. Be a little selfish and you will find someone right. Just don't put yourself out there on display because it can get you into trouble. Take care.
2007-12-02 05:28:49 · answer #4 · answered by besitos111 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, he isn't thinking about what you went through. He is thinking about what he wants/needs at this point. I'm not saying that is a bad thing; but, you have to decided what you will or will not tolerate. I'm sorry you had to endure your ex's cheating, and a subsequent divorce. In any relationship, you have to decide what type of treatment you can handle. If you aren't getting what you want from someone, YOU, and only you has to decide what you will do about it.
2007-12-02 05:15:55 · answer #5 · answered by Patrice 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he DOES just want casual sex......it's a bit obvious. If he wanted to be your friend and you said no to the fwb part but now he just ups and does this, then he wants just the sex -- not a friendship. I'm sorry. I don't think it's personal at all. I think it's more selfish on his part.
2007-12-02 05:17:18 · answer #6 · answered by butterfliesRfree 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he just want casual sex, then don't go with him, he knows you're vulnerable right now and he might try to get u. He's not the little boy who knew in highschool anymore, he's a grown man and his mind is only on one thing.f
2007-12-02 05:14:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing i will say that take things slow, and i think thats what he wants to, thats why he's not calling to much.
don't worry he still likes you but has a bit doubt about it.
don't rush into things but go out and have fun, and try to meet new people.
2007-12-02 05:20:53 · answer #8 · answered by sweet poison 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will never like u as he liked u before because he was rejected by u. He is not doing anything wrong. its just that maybe you were one of his first loves and people never forget that!
2007-12-02 05:14:13 · answer #9 · answered by cheetah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's wanting to have sex with you.
2007-12-02 05:12:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋