My husband and I were invited to this Christmas party that one of his good friends and his fiance organized. There is going to ba an "ugliest Christmas sweater competition", so that means that we have to find a Christmas sweater. In the invitation, they also ask their guests to bring a dish and their own liquor. They said they will provide beer and wine.
Isn't this a bit too much to ask if YOU are organizing a party in your own home?
2007-12-02 04:00:53 · 18 answers · asked by Cece 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Hi, Doc Dn Stl or whatever your nickname is. No, there are no issues between the hosts of the party and me. Actually, I think YOU are the one who is taking this thhinking a bit too far. I just asked if three things to bring to a party were too much. That's all. Please DO NOT insult people. I don't like to be called cheap because I am not. If I provide with everything at my parties, that doesn't make me cheap exactly.
For the ones that say this is NOT rude: when I organize a party at home, I don't ask anyone to bring anything. I decided to have it so I will provide with the food and drink and I don't compromise anybody to bring anything if they DO want to come to my party, that's it. That is why I was asking, don't take things so personal, guys. The people organizing this party make about 150 thousand dollars a year, so I don't think that money is an issue for them.
2007-12-02 05:43:53 · update #1
Seems a bit much to ask folks to bring their own liquor... Either it's beer & wine or full bar - my wife & I normally bring a bottle of wine as a thank you.
The sweater part is kind of funny.
2007-12-02 04:09:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
No, this isn't a "bit too much" at all. Just because you choose to provide everything when you throw a party doesn't mean that's how others want to throw a party. The sweater competition is a means of entertainment - a way to add to the atmosphere and fun. If you don't want to find a sweater, then don't, but you're just only going to look to everyone else as if you think you're too good to play their game (whether or not you actually think that - but it does seem like you do). Regarding the food and drink, the invitation said they will provide beer and wine. It is your choice if you want to bring something else, but they should not have to cater to everyone else's preferences. And potlucks are extremely common these days. It is a way for everyone to contribute to the evening and make it seem more like a close gathering rather than a formal affair. Something to keep in mind - this is a celebration you are going to, not something to nit pick and be ungrateful about. You are requested to bring 2 things - a sweater for entertainment and a dish. This is NOT too much. Again, how you choose to throw a party is your perogative. And it doesn't matter how much people make and what they can afford - if they don't want to buy your liquor, they don't have to.
2007-12-02 09:00:33 · answer #2 · answered by WonderingMyself 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The sweater thing is kind of funny so I wouldn't take offense to that. If you don't have an ugliest sweater - then for goodness sake - don't go out and buy one! If you want to participate then ask co-workers or friends if they have one to loan you - guaranteed someone has some ugly old sweater from Aunt Myrtle hanging in the back of their closet that is just dying to be seen!
The potluck isn't so much of an issue either - just pick something simple up at the store - even if it's just a bag of chips and a dip.
Asking people to bring liquor is over the top, though. It's fine to mention that they will only be serving wine and beer - most adults will get the message that if they want a mixed drink then they had better bring their own fixings for it. But to ask for liquor is too much - and a bit rude. It's like they are assuming that people are too stupid to understand what "wine and beer will be served" means or they are trolling for bottles to stock their liquor cabinet!
If you and your husband go to the party - try to have a good time!
2007-12-02 04:20:46 · answer #3 · answered by Mirage 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its a good friend of his so you both should go unless there is an act of god that prevents him and you from going or he or you become suddenly ill. Going forward...I don't see that you NEED to go out and find a Christmas sweater at all...it is just a contest, so what, be different. They want guests to bring a dish and liquor why do you have an issue with that? They are providing beer and wine for free...I don't get why you have a problem with it? It is their party, not yours, you and your husband have been invited, why are you so negative? From the sound of it you either have never been to a bring a dish party, you are very cheap, or there are bigger issues other than the planning of this party at play in your mind beteween yourself and the hosts of this party...I wonder what the true answer is...
2007-12-02 04:24:48 · answer #4 · answered by DWInSTL 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No Sweetie! This is not rude. Having an 'ugliest Christmas sweater competition' is rather cute and you don't have to take part if you don't want to! But surely you can dig out some old sweater from somewhere! Since ages it has been a common practise to organize 'Pot luck Parties' where people are asked to bring a dish so no harm there as well! I think it is very sporting of them to provide beer and wine, so it is not rude if they request you to carry your own liquor! Surely you will agree, it is not easy to cater to everyones' taste and capacity!!!
2007-12-02 05:43:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong with asking to bring a dish....it is obviously a pot luck party. They are providing wine and beer but let it be known if you want something different to bring it yourself....that is kind of tacky...if it was me hosting a party I would provide an assortment of booze and soft drinks and not expect people to bring that. As for the Christmas sweater not everybody will bring one, so don't go out and buy one just for a sweater competition.
2007-12-02 04:10:44 · answer #6 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think it is rude. Their main aim here is to have everyone mingle and socialize and have fun. Food can be a pretty daunting task for one person/family to handle it all. It becomes a major goal which might distract from other things on the agenda. Potluck dinners are common if one wants to be practical and save time doing all the cooking n cleaning, plus, it's more fun to have variety and to get to taste different foods and it gets everyone involved.
As someone suggested, these are just pointers. U dont have to get the sweater if u don't want to. But do bring a dish, even if it is a readymade snack - that's only polite.
Focus on the fun, not the work.
2007-12-02 04:45:36 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe! Maybe not! The theme sounds kind of nice, it does seem a bit creative. Sad to say that many people do go places these days empty handed. Some of us were raised to ask, what can I bring? I guess this is a sign of the times for the modern day deadbeats. I have a relative that is considering selling their beach home, because they just can't afford to pay to entertain and feed all of the friends and relatives that always visit. They are retired and on the fixed income budget. Such is the world these days. Outside of goings to a party at mom's and dad's, this sounds normal for this era. Try to make the best of it or kindly refuse. Good Luck!
2007-12-02 04:15:28 · answer #8 · answered by postal p 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a bit much, but they only thing that seems required is the dish. You don't have to participate in the sweater competition, and you don't have to bring liquor to drink.
2007-12-02 04:09:25 · answer #9 · answered by JLO 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
as long as they too are providing a dish & have already said they have part of the refreshments (the beer & wine) it is not bad they are saying " if you want something stronger then the (beer & wine you need to bring it your self) also if they are providing pop & coffee as well or other refreshments "NO! it is not rude!
as to the dish <> it may be the cost has already been a bit high & it adds variety to the mix if people do it!
2007-12-02 04:25:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋