hmmmmmm...........?

Question

im starting to get tired. of my relationship. i have a huge trust issue and sometimes my bf does stupid stuff that i believe, but my mind is like , you cant believe that it doesnt sound right.and its about where he was and what he did. and i love him with all my heart but im so jealous,(he doesnt see that part, i hide it), and i get my feelings hurt alot,(sometimes i hide it but if i cant i blow up and get mean and make him feel bad). he really isnt a bad guy and i know if i continue, that i will lose him. im ready to give up. maybe relationships arnt for me, cause i try to make them work, this one has lasted 7 months. and believe me it has been a lot for me to hang in there with my internal demons. but im getting tired of fighting with them, and feeling like im going no where with them, like all my work and im still the same. and he is too nice to deal with this, should i just wave a flag and be done? he will eventually leave anyway. ive talked to him about this before and he says..

that he will work with me but, i know he will get tired as well. what should i do? things i should get mad at i blow way out of proportion...gosh im a wreck.

Answer 1

Ok, you can't keep telling yourself that relationships aren't for you. You may suck at it at first, but practice makes you better. It's all a matter of growing up. You can't stay stuck into the details. You can't take people for granted. They will fail you, but you can't start a relationship thinking that people will never fail you, and everything is going to be just roses, you know?
Hollywood gave us a very twisted idea of what love is.
Love is about the whole package, and solving problems together because it's good for the other person, and it's good for you.
Love is also about hard work. Whomever says anything different, is selling something. Love is about trust also, but not controlling trust. Love is also about forgiveness... get it?
It's not just one aspect, and if you're not good in that department, you break up.
Welcome to adult relationships. You fight, preferably fight fair, no name calling, and such... you spill your guts, you apologize, and you make up.
You are always going to find disappointments with the other person. It's our imperfections that make us lovable.
Love is about being vulnerable, and sensitive. What can I say? Always check your assumptions, always be up front, and don't make a big deal of anything unless it is a big deal. And by, BIG DEAL I mean, life and death, deal.
Don't take yourself so seriously, and don't let your world revolve around one person. The thing your BF will love most about you is when you are your own person. Don't adjust your personality to make him like you. He liked you just the way you were in the beginning.
That's the #1 fear of men, that they women they fall in love with will change. Us, on the other hand, we want our men to change. It's natural.. So keep that in mind, share of yourself in this relationship, don't work like two fronts at war with each other. Think about "team work" he's on your side, and you accomplish something together, rather than you raising the bar and him struggling to meet your standards.
Share, get to know each other, not just how you like it in bed. Like, what makes you cry, what makes him laugh, what is the color of his eyes when you are happy, and so on...
I diagnose a "fear of intimacy" in your case, and I am an expert because I've been there.
Good luck to you.
Don't let fear of failure keep you from pursuing your goals.

Answer 2

Well there is 2 sides of the coin hon.If he says "im going over to Billy's" and then you call ,Billy hasn't seen or heard from him, then yeah he is up to something he doesn't want you to know about because he know you get angry, and that is wrong.
However if Billy says he is right here and they're watching the game etc, then you need to get some counseling.
A person doesn't strain another's person's trust in them to "hang out " with members of the opposite sex who have the hots for him/her.
Then again if he is honest and not doing that, then YOU are the one who is in the wrong and you need to quit making your b/f the center of your reason for existing,otherwise you will drive him away and this is one reason you may be so jealous.You live in constant fear that you will lose him.You have to have the attitude that if he were to meet someone who makes him happier than you do and he decides he wants them instead, that no matter what you do, you can not make him love you more than he does someone else, and you must be willing to let him go and realize there is someone else for you down the road.Otherwise you will torment yourself and him and drive him away even when no one else is in the picture.That is a selfish love looking out for your OWN feelings only and what he can do for you.

Answer 3

keep your head up