I have been married to Tom for 4 yrs. Tom has a 8 yr old son from his last marrage that he loves to death and so do I. I have been in his sons life since he was 2 ys old. For every b-day/x-mas Tom and I always go in on gifts for his son and sign the gifts from both of us. Well this yr for x-mas Tom wants to get him a guitar as he use to play in a band and its always been "his" dream for his son to follow in his foot steps. This is a very special gift as this is all Tom talks about and he has put a lot of time in making sure everything is perfect. Well the other day Tom told me he wants me to get his son something else as he just wants the guitar to be from him not both of us. I'm hurt about this as we allways put the gifts from both of us and if this is so speical why is he excluding me from this his wife. Please tell me an I over reacting?
2007-12-02 02:27:53 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
no
2007-12-02 02:31:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I definately think you are overreacting, this is something he probably has thought about from before the child was even born, it is his special gift and he wants his son to know just what it means to him to be able to pass this love of music on. He sounds like a great father and is in no way excluding you, it is just something I think he has thought about for a very long time and now feels like his son is old enough to appreciate it.
2007-12-02 05:34:10 · answer #2 · answered by jamieboy1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you should not feel hurt at all! This is a moment he is wanting to share with just his son, it has nothing to do with you. And he is not trying to be mean towards you or exclude you from anything. My parents were never divorced, so I have no step parents. My dad and I shared a love for the outdoors. He had wanted a son so bad to be able to share that with. Well, his son ending up loving music - choir, band, etc and wanted nothing to do with the outdoors. But I did. That became something special between my father and I and one year for Christmas, he got me stuff to take our first backpacking trip together and it was only from him. I was really touched and that made me feel so special - that my father went out of his way to make a gift so special that we share. I did not feel any resentment or sadness that my mom wasnt a part of that gift. I loved her gifts too. The way my parents had done it is all the other gifts were from the both of them, but that one was just from my dad. It was a great bonding experience between my dad and I. It is ABSOLUTELY nothing personal towards you. I am now married, and we have a blended marriage. Everyonce in awhile, we do something special for one child from one parent. Like take them sompeplace, or buy them something. It makes that child feel special and unique. It is not all the time, just when something is special. Let your husband share this moment with his child. There might come a day where you find that you have something in common with his son that he doesnt share with him and you will have the chance to do something one on one with him that is special between the two of you. Wouldnt you be hurt if your husband tried taking the "glory" (for lack of a better word) from something that meant so much to you - something he didnt share?
2007-12-02 02:58:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
From Mrs. WC
I'd probably feel hurt too. If the guitar had belonged to your husband then I'd say no. But if he's buying a guitar, then I don't see why it shouldn't be from both of you. Instead of making a big case out of it, explain to your husband that you feel hurt that he would exclude you from this gift but that you can try to understand his feelings. Then, ask him what YOU can get the child as a special gift from just you.
2007-12-02 02:36:31 · answer #4 · answered by william c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes...you are over-reacting. As you said in your description..."getting him a guitar has always been his dream." Let your husband fulfilll this dream and calm down and buy him something from you. It's really not that big of a deal in the big picture. Buy him sheet music or a starter learning book for the guitar. Guitar picks, a guitar case...there are all sorts of things you can get. Just visit a music store. BUT, let his father enjoy this one dream he has always had. You might want to fulfil a dream one day and you will want your husband to be as understanding as you are going to be in this instance. Is it really worth hurt feelings and a possible argument??? I don't think so really.
2007-12-02 05:08:16 · answer #5 · answered by Grandma of 2 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're the mother this boy knows. Remind your husband of that. Or you can get him a present just from you, and skip the joint present this year.
2017-01-24 23:29:47 · answer #6 · answered by Gaia’s Garden 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say let it slide and don`t let it bother you. It`s special to him to give him this gift. Why not give the son a gift that is special to you and label it as from you only?
2007-12-02 02:37:06 · answer #7 · answered by beloveddoll5 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can understand how you feel since gifts have always been from the two of you. Since this particular gift is so meaningful to your husband, why don't you let it slide this one time?
2007-12-02 02:33:22 · answer #8 · answered by WilmaF 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
don't experience injury, it fairly is that the present is so specific that he desires to be the guy to grant it to him through fact it fairly is going to likely be a modern from Daddy. it could aslo recommend that even nonetheless he needs his son to persist along with his foot steps he desires to be the guy to indicate him in that path. adult men are kinda humorous and coming from me have confidence me, we expect of otherwise from women human beings (not greater helpful, no longer worst, in simple terms diverse) attempt to no longer make a huge fuss out of it, purchase the boy a modern which you think of he will the two like. it might desire to be lack of self assurance besides yet do no longer think of incorrect approximately this the two, perchance he desires to get decrease back into his son's existence through fact he felt he has been drifting faraway from him too plenty.
2016-09-30 10:45:56 · answer #9 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just want's to buy something on his on to make sure its just the right gift the heart, why don't you buy somthing just from you it will have more meaning that way. That's what I've always done for my step-children. Good Luck! Happy Hollidays.
2007-12-02 02:41:10 · answer #10 · answered by kookski4639 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No you shouldn't be hurt. What are you, 12?
It's a very meaningful gift and should only come from his dad.
2007-12-03 02:50:06 · answer #11 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋