Why do we still throw wedding showers?

Question

I understand the practical value when hosting for a couple who is starting out life together with very little - but throwing showers for people who have plenty? Or purely because it's traditional? What's up with that?

Answer 1

It's a chance for a bride to get together w/her friends -- for them to give her gifts (expensive or inexpensive, storebought or homemade, regardless of how much she already has) as expressions of congratulations & joy for her, plus give advice & just have fun!

At many of the bridal showers I've been to, the hostess(es) have asked each guest to bring their favorite recipe typed or handprinted on an index card, to be filed in a recipe box or book. The bride may already have STUFF, but who can't use recipes? And it has sentimental value, since the recipes are from family & friends who care.

My friend who lives out of state used the first 1/2 hour of hers to introduce us to the groom, since she met him after she moved away & none of us knew him. I was really grateful for that opportunity. : ) It was also a good chance for her to share with us all at once how her fiance proposed, rather than having to tell the story 100 different times. So I think there can be practical reasons aside from tradition & gifts.

Answer 2

Yes, I would think because it is traditional . I know I was honored when, at my age of 59 I was still humbled that my friends would want to get together to toast me. I was moving to Europe, so could not get large gifts, but they got me a negilee which would travel nicely. Each time I wore it, I thought of them. I believe this was a reason for gifting years ago, in addition to helping to set up the home.
Nowadays, from the showers I've gone to, it has been more of a gift receiving, and even money showers. But in the hearts of those giving it, it still seems like the "thing to do". If a shower isn't given, the receipient seems to feel no one cares about her choices. But, I still see (at a shower 3 days ago) a tad bit more of expecting nice things rather than helping with the home. Too many couples live together and so have a home set up; they may ask or hope for money, but when not having a traditional life style (i.e. living together AFTER marriage) it is difficult for some to be too practical. Then it just boils down to "I have to do this, because it is traditional." Sadly, the child first, marriage next situation is so out of hand, that sometimes there is a baby shower and no wedding shower, or there are both, in reverse order. I'm so old fashioned, I guess that I wish it were as it was before. Traditional courtship, traditional engagement, traditional shower, and then lovely wedding followed by marvelous children.. The world is changing, but in answer to your question, the key word is traditional.

Answer 3

I'm an established adult who's lived on her own for while and who also just had her wedding shower last weekend. This is my point of view on the subject. First, I thought it was one of the most wonderful days of my life so far--to see all these people coming out to support me and my fiance was just thrilling, and his aunts hosted it for me at the most lovely and elegant place in our area, and they went to alot of trouble to make it so special. Gifts aside, just that made me feel so truly special, I enjoyed every second of the day.

Also, I live in a tiny apartment, and though I do have things sufficient for here, we're building a new house that's way bigger that here, and so the things I have will look lost in the new house. And, because I've lived on my own for a while, my stuff needs improving--I only have 5 towels, which are all ready to be made into rags, my dishes have chips, our new bed is going to be a king, and I currently have a queen, and my vacuum smells like burning rubber! All of these things make a shower a real Godsend for someone like me!

You don't really know what a person has or needs, even if you tihnk you do.

Answer 4

It's tradition. But, if the people have plenty or already have lived together or been married before, you can always make the gift giving of a different nature.Maybe bring gifts to benefit the local charity and donate them all in the bride and grooms name.Or, this time of the year, it could be food items for a food pantry.

Answer 5

What you really want is a Hen Party
like a bridal shower, but with more alcohol, and some alcohol thrown in for good measure, a bit less dignified - but more fun.

No polite tea party - Drinking games and Dares. Being on the receiving end of a drunk Hen Party can be scary- FUN - But a little scary

So Fight tradition it will be hard, but do it and demand a Hen Party

Answer 6

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth!

If you want a shower for people to gather and not get gifts, ask everyone to bring a typed story and accompanying photo if available about the bride or groom and compile them into a scrapbook to display at the wedding.

Answer 7

You said it yourself! It has to do with the tradition of celebrating the union of two people. These events bring family and friends together. Who is to judge when someone already has plenty or enough stuff? I don't want that responsibility, do you?

Answer 8

You can always give a homemade and unique gift to people who have plenty, and I would not spend good money on a shower gift if you don't feel it's right.

But I don't see any changing of this tradition anytime soon! But I totally agree with you.

Frederic Kahler

Answer 9

It's tradition. And by this point in my life, do you know how many people I've bought crap for, its my turn.

Answer 10

I thought it was sort of the brides way of blessing or wishing that the catcher would find TRUE LOVE as she has !?! & I guess it's a wishing of good luck to the catcher