how do you keep women from letting themselves go after they get comfortable in a relationship?

Question

i listen to a talk program called tom lykis...airs in LA anyway tom always has male callers who call to complain about their wives who were once hot or attractive..but after marrige they have let themselves go...and how unhappy it makes the guy...i dated a girl she was smoking hot till we moved in together..then after about 6 months she gained a bunch of weight and just let herself go...so i dumped her...i am sure people will say that is wrong..but why would i stay with a girl who lets herself go... i mean if i am with a girl and she isnt keeping up her looks or staying in shpae doesnt that mean she doesnt care? why do girls do this? its like most girls start off young and hot so they can get a husband ..then they dont care anymore and they get fat and ugly...then they wonder why guys cheap and say they still love them...i mean i know whats its like... after my xgf became all fat and ugly i still loved her...but i wasnt sexualy attracted to her at all. i wouldnt kiss her anymore

Love is Blind??? thats why ugly people say...if love was blind no one would spend money on making themselves beautiful ...dumb****

ok first ...i never been married so i dont have a wife...and for the guy that said my x is better off with out me..so be it i dont date fat girls anyway...

MBCBnBB

i think thats the most honest answer i have ever gotten...thanks!

Aaron A

i never said anything about doing toms job for him jack**** im talking about something i heard on his program

ann s

i see what your saying and dont get me wrong i dont have a problem with any women who wants her guy to stay attractive...you are right it is a 2 way street... all i am saying is i dont put up with that...if i starting dating you ..that means i am attracted to you...and if you let yourself go and become ugly ..then im not attracted to you anymore ..why would i stay with you....ewww

jeje only?
are you saying looks dont matter ...that when you date a guy you dont care about his looks....lier!!!

Answer 1

Dear Bro' Nick A:

Yuppers~
97.1 FM, 2pm thru 6pm!

I live in Hollyweird, California, bro!
I know what you mean! Most answers
here are from people who are living
a "Disney-Love" life! They are living
in a Fantasy World! Most lack~
"Emotional-Intelligence" & a REALITY
of REAL LIFE!

I had a friend in my Law Firm in
San Francisco, that SOLVED
your problem above! Before he
married his Hot Lover~ he drew up
a Pre-Nup stating that she had to
NEVER gain MORE Then 15 lbs.!
(What an AWESOME Motivation!)

Guess what? She looks Hotter now
then when they first started dating.
She plays an active role in the
success of the Law Firm! Her inner-
self is filled with Substance & Mucho
Social Style! She is QUALITY!

Many Women are RUTHLESS!
It seems that as soon as they have
our ring & our money we get SHAFTED!
They turn into a "Fuglie"! (In body-mind-
soul & Spirit!) Let The NAGGING Begin!

They already have what they wanted!
Monetary Security & Our BALLZ!
(And women state WE Are SHALLOW!)

Successful Men on the other hand~
never need to "worry" about their weight
gain! All we need is Magnet Money to
attract mature HOT Women! Most care
NOT whether we are Fugly! Most are
"McGwire's" ~ SHOW ME THE MONEY!

Most of the time there is NO Benefit
for a mature successful man to marry!
Our laws are for the benefit of women
& children! Many times marriage is for
POOR People! By POOR, I mean~
poor in spirit, character & success!
They are REALLY Insecure, needy &
LONELY! They lack the strength to
live a productive life being Un-Married!

But that's kewl! It's a "Free-Country"!
If they wish to be manipulated by the
Media & live their lives in a myth world!

But YOU & I & Millions of N. American
Men know what Real happiness is!

Our Character is Measured by our
Daily ACTIONS! Success with REAL
Women who take PRIDE in Themselves!

We now await the usual MALE-
Bashing to your thought provoking post!
But most will have NO Clue what we are
attempting to convey! Especially all
the FAT & Ugly women who will post!

Good Luck NICK!
You got BALLZ to post up this Subject!
Mostly "Fuglies" will answer, with their
B*ull S*hit~ saying we are shallow,
or that we are "sexist" & hate women!
Let THEM Move to an Arab Country
and get a TRUE TASTE of men!
Most women are Clue-Less!

Ciao!
"Blow Me UP~ dude! Old School Style!

Answer 2

I have had a guy dump me for this exact reason. I had a smoking hot bod when I met him, and gained at least 15-20 pounds months after meeting him.
I know for me, I wasn't stable enough to get into the relationship in the first place. I know girls think it's mean and shallow when a guy dumps us over weight, but ladies, there is something going on if our weight fluctuates too much if we're in a relationship.
I agree with what you did, I wouldn't be ashamed. I think women aren't as put together as we would hope you think we are... and lots of us need to work on the INSIDE much more than we do, and worry less about the outside.
your ex-girlfriend sounds like she had a lot of things she needed to get together, anyways, and probably didn't need to be in a relationship.
I would recommend for you to work on your spiritual growth and for you to find someone who is in a good place spiritually, emotionally, who knows who she is and what she wants. Girls that have big goals and very stable aren't as likely to fluctuate in looks as often.

*Just a comment to LedHead, how women are shallow and only want money.. this is HONESTLY just not true. I think men who think this way are very insecure with themselves spiritually and emotionally. Maybe the men who feel they are 'used' because of their money, just don't feel they have anything to offer so they want to be used for money...
I, personally, do not get hung up over a man with money AT ALL... I am attracted to a confident, secure man, nothing else. He could be making way less than I make, and it wouldn't matter, as long as I know he loves me and makes me laugh:)

Answer 3

You're so superficial, you didn't love her, love is blind remember?? I'm guessing you're not hot yourself, how typical of guys to say that. But I'll still help you. Make sure your gf or wife does no more then 50% of the household work and you do the other half, that way she won't be tired and she'll have time to stay pretty. Take a gym membership and go train with her. Cook healthy food with her so two can eat healthy. Stay as fit as you can yourself...Oh and cut the bs about loving girls, you don't love them you just love what their bodies can give you.

Answer 4

Just so long as the standards you expect are a two way street... I know guys who develop a gut, fart in front of their gf and generally act like a bozo. So if you are looking at the girls, be sure the guy also stays drop dead desirable too. Many women don't let themselves go to. I think it largely depends on the person.

Answer 5

I've known many women who have been married for many years who have become more beautiful and sexy than they were at a younger age.

It's incorrect to make generalizations about people, especially based on gender, age, etc.

It's also less accurate to base your findings from either men who have called in to a radio show that you happened to hear or to a few women you have personally been involved with.

Answer 6

it sounds vain of you, but i wouldnt stay in a relationship if i wasnt attracted to the person anymore, you cant help it how you feel or dont feel, and like you said you loved her still but you werent attracted to her, you wouldve probably ended up being miserable or cheating or something terrible for the both of you, so dont beat yourself up about that.
Women do get comfy once they are married, or in a long relationship. I myself didnt get that way until after i had my son, i take showers everyday and wear perfume and dress nice and still do my eye make up, but i dont have time do to my hair anymore, which i just throw it up, but its not because im comfy its because i dont have the time with my son being only 10 months, he wants his mommy ALL THE TIME. now if my hubby is home i will do all that stuff while he watches him and the fat thing well that came with the territory of having a baby... anyways im slowly losing the weight, but im trying and its hard. so its not always women let themselves go its sometimes they dont have the time with having yalls children. but if you dont have children and all you have to do is get up look nice and maintain your self then why not do it. i just think that women dont think that guys are gonna go anywhere but i know that i WANT to look hot for myself and i dont see why others wouldnt want that, who wants to look in the mirror and be like damn im ugly! haha... well good luck in the future. maybe you should just find a girl who is plain jain, doesnt need make up, her hair is nice no matter what she does and shes a health freak! then she cant possibly fall apart!

Answer 7

Well, if you really love her, it shouldn't matter
and that's what women think
but guys end up letting themselves go to you know
Love shouldn't just be about looks though, as it seems you believe
so i think you've never really been in love, have you?'
I mean, you might think you have, but I doubt it

Answer 8

First off, I think you should let Tom Lykis do his job because you do a bad job at it on Yahoo. Second, there is no way you really loved your ex, if you had you would have made attempts to encourage her to work out, eat properly, and all the stuff that need be done to stay in shape. I am sure she is better off without you anyway.

Answer 9

Relationships are a two way street, and you pretty much get out of them what you are willing to put in.

Answer 10

Nick, have you ever heard the expression 'for better or for worse'? If you loved your wife you could have shown it to her by helping her with her problems in a supportive way.