I hear so many couples having problems when it comes time to buy a wedding ring. The men are looking for something to say I am married a simple gold band and the woman want Fort Knox. Will a bigger ring make your marriage better? and why do so many people go into debt over a 5 minute wedding ceremony. For those of you who have never attended a wedding or been married yes it is not long at all with the actual bride and groom. Does anyone know the ansewers to these questions? Why not put some of this money into the future of the marriage?
2007-12-01 21:01:14 · 11 answers · asked by Reggie M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
No, a bigger ring will do nothing but put standards on your love. Marriage is about sharing a life with someone, not over-extending your bank account. Marriages have become obscenely expensive these days, I agree. I think elopement or an intimate wedding are your best bets. Bring your close friends and family with you to an All-Inclusive resort w/ a wedding package and you're stress-free! For my wedding we are asking for money instead of gifts we don't need, the ceremony will be small and inexpensive and we're going to a family member's vacation home for our honeymoon. It's perfect, I'm with him...and that's all that matters.
2007-12-02 03:53:58 · answer #1 · answered by Hayley 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
People like you who ask this question always seem to think that if a couple is having a grand wedding they're going into debt, not concerned with their actual married life and that it's the woman who wants all this.
I assume it has never occurred to you that many couples CAN afford a big wedding, and still have money left over for other things. Or that a big wedding doesn't mean a thing in reference to the marriage. People who spend hudreds of thousands on their wedding day can be happy forever, or want divorce in a year. So can couples who run to the courthouse. The method of getting married has absolutely nothing to do with the stability of the marriage afterward.
We're having a wedding that I'm sure would be extravagant in your opinion, but nobody has asked you to pay the bill, so why are you concerned? In our situation, HE wanted to have a destination wedding, HE is driving the affair to be a grand one--and I'm perfectly happy with this because I know it will be wonderful, and will make both of us and our friends and families very happy. We can afford this wedding, and it is the one we want.
I more so question the person who thinks spending money to celebrate your wedding day with family and friends is a waste. It is the most significant day in your adult life, and should be treated as such. It is a milestone day in a person's life, and deserves the fanfare and such that rightfully accompany huge occasions in one's life.
2007-12-02 00:20:02 · answer #2 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that people should spend whatever the want on their wedding....as long as they can AFFORD it. And by afford, I mean that they'll still be able to pay for their cars, buy groceries, put a down payment on a house...etc.
For me, this is my first...and hopefully only...wedding I will ever have. This is probably also going to be the BIGGEST party I will EVER throw for myself, so I want to make sure that I have my personality in all aspects of the wedding. All of our closest friends and family will be there. When else is this going to happen?
As for the ring size....it's the first thing people look at when you announce your engagement. It shows that you're engaged and later...married. Again, it's all about bragging rights...but hey...if you can afford it, why not? Just as long as it suits the budget and taste of the bride. I LOVE my 1 carat ring, because it's something my fiance could afford. If he was in debt I'd make him return it and get me something smaller. Because marriage is about compromise...and being in debt before the actual wedding....is not going to make a happy marriage!
2007-12-02 03:04:14 · answer #3 · answered by carrot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I had no problems with buying rings for eachother. Mine is actually beautiful..1 1/2 karats...His is a 1/2 Karat. I wanted a simple ring but he wanted me to have more. All women aren't the same. We didn't have a big wedding at all. All of our 20 something military friends were there and we had a wonderful time.
Fortunately, we didn't go in debt either, our rings are paid for and we're happy. Our wedding costed all of $500...lol..and I'm VERY happy with that.
A bigger ring says NOTHING about your marriage...it's wayyy more to it than that and whoever thinks differently is crazy..
2007-12-02 01:16:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the women, some are more materialistic than others. Those that are materialistic want to show wealth and prosperity by having an expensive ring...like "my husband provides".
Honestly, it's silly. My fiance and I have already bought our wedding rings, and they cost less than $100 total. They are both made of wood and silver and look exactly the same. I think the couple should be more concerned with they symbolism of love and marriage and not of wealth and glamour.
That's why we supposedly get married, right?
2007-12-02 02:08:29 · answer #5 · answered by Mee 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I was a bride that wanted a nice ring and I got it. I love the ring my husband chose for me and I feel really special when I look at it. He went all out. I was so proud to show it off. Still I look at it and it's the one true indulgence in my life that I have. I am really good with money and had a huge down payment on a house. I am constantly saving or trying to save more for us.
The money could have gone into something more practical like our RRSP's but sometimes a little indulgence is good. This is a good indulgence in my opinion. My husband is also very good with his money therefore when I got my ring I felt so special to him. For once he wasn't being cheap. Allot of women are embarrassed of their engagement rings....diamonds to small. They might not say it to you but when they are in a group of other women they will mention what's wrong with the ring.
Since we have been married I don't regret the money he spent on it and either does he. I never think about what we could have done with it. It's the one thing that always reminds me of him....and it's a real good thought. However I'm not sure the same would be said if we were in debt over it. The wedding and money were paid for. Some couples are paying for the wedding after they are divorced. Don't laugh this is true.
I think you need a balance. I told him not to buy the diamond at the jewellers. I told him to buy a used diamond. He wouldn't because he said he wouldn't like that. If you want to get a nice diamond and a good price....buy used. The minute a diamond is put on a girls hand it;s value does drop. People don't want used diamonds but if you can get over that you could save allot of money and have a nice stone. Then just put the stone in a different setting. Find out what she thinks if the size of the diamond bothers her.
One of the best things you can do is go ring shopping with her. Find out her likes and dislikes. That could also be why I love my ring so much is the setting. I did pick out my setting but the stone was all him.
Another thing about the diamonds. I would prefer a smaller diamond of good quality that dances when you look at it then something that looks like spit. It's when my stone dances that I am thinking of my husband.(I think of him other times)
He has told me I could upgrade but I wouldn't dream of it. This is the ring we got married and this is the one I want for life. I don't understand the upgrade thing. Maybe I am sentimental.
2007-12-02 00:13:10 · answer #6 · answered by Violet 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It is simple most woman are vain so they think the ring is everything. I believe a ring should be simple and elegant not fort Knox. If she really love you and not your money it will make no difference.
As for the wedding it self yes you will have to spend some money but you do not have to go over board. We are doing it all from dress that's less than $500 to my hall at just over $3000 and when all is done it will be less than $10,000. So if you would prefer to plan for your future than explain that to her. She will ether agree or freak and let you know what type of girl you really have.
2007-12-02 01:02:49 · answer #7 · answered by crissypeach 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
my husband and i had a modest wedding and have standard basic wedding bands.
Our focus on our wedding day was that it was a stepping stone to the rest of our lives as man and wife.
We made the entire wedding relaxed, comfortable and about our shared love and commitment.
I have been to many weddings that are based on the "show" that the couple put on for the guests. It's all about the dress, the hair, the music, the photography. A bit empathesis is on the "showy" parts of the day e.g. the car, the engagement ring, the acryillic nails etc. I find weddings like that repulsive and personally i do not believe those marriages last as well as the marriages that are based on true love and happiness.
if you are considering marrying a show-pony girl who wants "a wedding" instead of "a marriage" then GET OUT NOW. girls like that are very common and cheap and nasty if you ask me.
2007-12-01 22:03:43 · answer #8 · answered by chilly 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Some women feel the men should spend alot of money on them.They want to show off wealth even if they are in debt!
Give me a small ring, and long lovely honeymoon we can both enjoy, any day.
2007-12-01 21:07:31 · answer #9 · answered by jalady 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I have a plain 9 caret gold band ($49.00 at the time) and have been married 23 years. But I didn't want anything more either. Does that answer your question?
2007-12-01 21:07:04 · answer #10 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋