My boyfriend of 4 years watches porn behind my back. I think it's disgusting. I also hate how people say that it's alright and "natural" for men and women to view porn when their in a relationship. I don't understand how people can think that. They're watching other people have sex... I hate that people (guys in particular) try to justify it because they just dont know the people having sex on the screen. They could be your neighbors... I dont know. Am I wrong to feel this? It tears me up inside knowing that he's being aroused by other women. We never have sex anymore. I've tried everything. And I'm very attractive, I know I am. I was trying to look up a website I had viewed earlier this week for my psychology class on his computer because I forgot the URL and I saw a bunch of Porno sites like "Do my wife" blah blah blah... And I just started crying. I've tried telling him it hurts my feelings that he doesnt seem aroused by me more than once... But he doesnt seem to care.
2007-12-01 20:55:31 · 20 answers · asked by Laura787 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You never have sex any more and all he does is watch porn? Yes you have every right to be upset about that. He should be doing you not himself. There is something going on. sounds like the relationship might be on the rocks . Try to get him excited yourself. step it up show him he has all he needs right with you.
2007-12-01 21:01:27 · answer #1 · answered by snowflake311 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
How sad that he is not interested in you. Some men lack imagination and creativity.
I don't understand the porn thing either. When you've got a real woman to look at, who needs porn? I'm not sure I get that. I can see a single guy without a woman around looking at some pictures or something but this isn't at all what you're talking about.
Try not to take this personally. This isn't about you. And to be honest, it doesn't matter if you're good looking or not. Any woman who is reasonable looking and fun to talk with and who has a brain is very attractive to any healthy male. I don't get that part either. Especially when you're young.
So... you need to come to grips with the fact that this ain't about you. It's about him. Porn can be an addiction with some guys, just like booze or drugs. It gives them a feeling that they're looking for, fills an empty hole that should be filled by something more healthy.
Maybe it's time to consider moving on? Trust me, there are many young men your age who would appreciate you like you wouldn't believe. Life is short and you're only young for so long.
Good luck to you.
2007-12-01 21:04:50 · answer #2 · answered by DearAbby 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Ok, sorry, but it IS natural for people to do that. There is nothing wrong with him occasionally looking at porn.
This, however, is beyond that. NOW it is a problem! He is using porn instead of you. I'd be kicking him out if I were you my friend, he loves his videos and websites more than you, and you deserve better than that.
Besides, like you said, you're beautiful. You have nothing to worry about, you'll find a guy who respects you in a snap, you don't need to stick it out with this weakling who can't even battle a porn addiction. Find a real man.
If you really don't want to leave him, make SURE that he gets therapy! You guys should go to couples counselling.
2007-12-01 21:01:25 · answer #3 · answered by myleslr 5 · 5⤊ 1⤋
All you can do is help yourself... there is nothing anyone else or any advise can do to help you... i have helped quite a few of my friends in similar situation before.. so experience speaks..
Making love is an art.. which needs practice and devotion... if you want to get out of this situation... take hold of yourself, you will need to adopt new things...
Guys, as we all know, love sex... that being said.. they also love sex for the discovery of new pleasures and new ways of experiencing it...Be an adventurer & challenge him...
Simple Ways:
Don't watch porno with him (that will only encourage him) watch it without him - ONLY for education - learn what is it that is arousing him... for guys, it is not the girl in the porno that arouses him.. it is what she is projecting.. how she is doing it.. and all that she is willing to experiment...
Treat yourself with Respect... never indulge in self-pity... Men like strong women...
Change your looks... color of the hair.. new contacts... new clothes... this will surely bring his attention...
After all this..... let him crave for you... do not give in to him soon... push him back gently... don't be rude.. just play him...
Then when you are ready...
Do things that he would not expect you to do, or do things that he asked for before and you did not give him before... a change like this - is always a surprise and reignites the passion..but know your limits.. until where you would like to go!!
Best of luck..
2007-12-01 21:15:19 · answer #4 · answered by injunking 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ace totally understands where you are coming from BUT, you must understand something.
It is not really the women that is turning him on. No no, it is the BITS on the womanaught. Basically, guys watch porn because it gets them horny, which is a simple state that they like. They do not feel any emotional attachment to the people they are watching, to them they are just a big pair of breasts and a clean shaven vagina. The thing you must remember is that you arouse him for more than just having a pair of breasticles. You arouse him because of who you are.
I hope this helps you, and I hope you can make it back to planet Happyrelationship. Houston is counting on you. Do not fear. We have CALCULUS.
2007-12-01 21:03:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Maybe you need a different boyfriend. Perhaps you should discuss this line of thinking with him.
This is a common issue. When a bf is watching porn, it is not really surprising that the gf feels unloved or unvalued ... feels that she has to compete or that the bf is going to stray.
In many cases it's not actually like that for the bf. Guys are visual creatures and most of us like the visual stimulation of watching porn.
Not all guys are like that. If you need your guy to be understanding to you then perhaps you need to find another guy. At least you need to express it to this bf of yours that his behaviour is hurtful to you. Perhaps he will choose to change.
2007-12-01 20:58:56 · answer #6 · answered by Orinoco 7 · 6⤊ 1⤋
A lot of women just said screw it and gave up on this subject because it's not like he can do anything with her through the t.v.I don't know I don't like it nether it's nasty.But that's something yall are going to have to sit down and really talk about.Good luck
2007-12-01 21:02:49 · answer #7 · answered by Lindsey Brown 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
porn is not a bad thing... If the 2 of you are not active it likely has nothing to do with porn. Ask why he doesn't want to be active. You have your opinion to not like it but you should also think of it as him watching it is better than him with someone else. I myself can't stand it either however I dont complain if my husband watches it. Good Luck!!
2007-12-01 21:03:41 · answer #8 · answered by bambu1276 2 · 0⤊ 4⤋
You're entitled to your opinion, but I don't try to justify anything.
I enjoy porn, and I'm a married woman. My husband is attractive and good in bed so that has nothing to do with it. Some people just enjoy it. If you don't want a boyfriend who watches porn then you should look for someone who shares your opinion on this subject.
2007-12-01 20:59:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 4⤋
Well if he doesn't do anything all the day he is on the wrong way and if he don't cares about you ,are you sure he loves you?If I was you I would leave him and if you see he doesn't loves you, you sould too.
2007-12-01 21:03:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋