right i think ive just got out of a relationship that ive been in since i was 15/16 with a guy i still adore, he is being silly at the moment, wanting a break and stuff!! anyways
over 4 years i have gotten quite dependant on him, and now im pretty much lost i dont know what to do with myself, i dont really have many close friends and im quite shy (however i am working on this cos i compete in loads of beauty pagents!!)
nywys what do u suggest i do, im not into random sex (in fear of aids n stds n other nasties) but i wanna meet new people go out more and find some best mates any ideas?
i also work at a record store once a week so im hoping i will get a lot of guys hitting on me over the next feew weeks with xmas!( great confidance booster)
please help a shy but confidant, no friends girl
thanks
2007-12-01 19:40:55 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i am also in uni, but ther ppl thier are kinda snobby!
or they think im snobby!
well they are all loaded anyways
2007-12-01 19:42:04 · update #1
Don't go jumping straight into a relationship on the rebound.
Enjoy this time. Young, free and single at 19 is not a bad thing. Working in a shop is a good way of meeting people, but working in a record shop is a GREAT way of meeting people. Take the ego boosts but remember, everything is now on your terms.
Oh and don't worry about being shy. Use it to your advantage, some guys find this incredibley attractive.
Good luck and enjoy your freedom
2007-12-01 19:57:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys hitting on you is not the same as having friends, it's mere gratification and only feeds your vanity, which is not the same as self-confidence.
However, you are right to steer clear of random sex, especially if you are not comfortable with the idea. It's just that the whole gratification thing above can easily lead to random sex ...
How can you make friends with other girls? Is there anything else you are interested in so you can join a club and so meet new people that way? Beauty pageants aside, I mean (and come on, girls are in competition in those things, and they are meat markets in fairness, and very unhealthy when it comes to one's self-esteeem ....). I'm talking about sports clubs - sports is a great leveller - music clubs, if you play an instrument; camera clubs if you're into photography, that kind of thing.
You say you've become quite dependent on your ex, and this means that you will have to make an effort to deal with this change in your life. At your age, being with someone for so long might have made you a bit lazy ... sorry to be saying this, but not having to work at being sociable has a way causing development in this area to stagnate, in that if you don't use it you lose it.
My sister was in the same situation as you are now, but she got over it.
2007-12-01 19:59:14 · answer #2 · answered by Orla C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you have to do is to stop being co-dependent. How can you ever know who you are and what you want when you are simply an appendage off of someone else's life? Spend the next five years being single, making a load of friends, find out who you are, what you want and pursue a meaningful career that appeals to you. Most women who I have met that have a history of long term relationships one after another are just down right scary. Good luck! :)
2007-12-01 21:34:31 · answer #3 · answered by ocdaedalus 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ohhh i feel 4 u honestly, i was in the same position myself, with my bf frm 14 till 19, he was the love of my life and started being silly, goin out more and drinkin and letting me down, when we broke up i though my world had ended, i had spent so long with him that i had neglected my friends, im just grateful i have a great bunch of mates and they were ther 4 me after, just make sure u dont let him use u as he will no ur vunerable to him, he will try using u from time 2 time, try startin a hobby and mabye make some friends this way, and u can email me if u want, kelz_jojo@yahoo.co.uk as long as u dnt let him walk over u, u will be fine, hold ur head up and dnt let him see u annoyed! xxxxx
2007-12-01 20:05:17 · answer #4 · answered by kelz_jojo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you need to have a break from seeing someone and find out about yourself more.. You is right about random sex! You don't have to do that, to make new friends and enjoy yourself! And having guys hitting on you, isn't a must! Chill out and enjoy that feeling of no pressure to do this, go here, what your other half is thinking and what they want! Is pretty dam cool! Being on your own for abit, isn't a bad thing.. Opens your eyes and makes you realise afew important things that you've missed out on!
enjoy it!
2007-12-01 20:07:51 · answer #5 · answered by googoo!! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think everyone SHOULD be single at 19 years old! Far too early to settle down in my opinion.
Anyway what should you do?? The best question should be what SHOULDN'T you do.....Go to a travel agents and book your round the world backpacking trip for starters. Look at the different societies your Uni has and join a few..they're great for meeting people and going out together.
Most of all though, have as much fun as you can. You can never have too much fun!!
2007-12-01 20:02:28 · answer #6 · answered by Mr Tripod 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I suggest don't rush to jump in a relationship. Meet new people and have social session, where you go in groups to go bowling or something. I am sure you have made friends with people at pagents and at your job. maybe you are in school. How about joining a club and meet friends there. Good luck.
2016-05-27 05:20:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, don't try to make him jealous whatever you do. That only ever works in movies. You should try to talk to guys, just casually, when you are in the record store, this will make you more confident. And remember, guys don't always like pushy girls, most like it when you're just yourself. Be friendly.
Good luck!
2007-12-01 19:49:56 · answer #8 · answered by eleanor 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
live a little
2007-12-01 19:45:05 · answer #9 · answered by tyson 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋