Have you been affected by suicide?

Question

I had a good friend in school who killed himself 6 years ago. I'm not deep in depression or anything, but I literally think about him every day. When it happened, I was pregnant, and nobody wanted to upset me,so I never heard any details about what happened, and I just wonder about it all the time. Sometimes I want to ask my other friends what happened, how did he do it, and did he leave a note, and all that stuff... but it's been six years and maybe it's better not to bring that up with them. And maybe I will hear something that will give me more sadness than closure.

Has a friend's suicide affected you for such a long time? Do you think it's better to just ask, or not to bring it up with friends who have moved on?

Answer 1

Suicide affects family and friends forever. You will never forget, but the feeling intensity can subside. I do think it is a good idea to find out the details that you missed because of "protection," because you need them to help process the whole event. If you ask friend if you can ask them about it and give them the opportunity to say no if they cannot handle it, I think it is fine to seek out as much information as you can get.

Answer 2

Friends come and go, it so hard to keep track of them in this big world. Loosing them is the hardest part, especially when they died young. The fact that everyone dies, we just can't accept the fact of people dying young. Death by disease and old age is likely acceptable, we could say goodbye to our loved ones and ask forgiveness for our shortcomings. In cases of sudden occurence, it's just hard to swallow the fact that they are gone.
In such instances, that you really are close to the person or just the sensitive type, you may not get to the point of closure. You may accept the passing but the likelyhood of him/her not visible/tangible is apparent of your longing.
Finding details of one's death may just one part that you suggest foul play, something is not right, you don't know the reason why he would took his life, or just can't bear not to see him again. It just shows how you value friendship so much.
(We all have our right to our opinion) Others may say let i go... but some people which I quite agree is that... Forgetting someone, even if painful is like dishonoring the memory of that person. BUT it is unethical to just raise up that type of questions if others have already moved on. I guess the best way if you like closure is to find the answer thru the family rather than your friends.
Families are much more forever and I'm quite sure they still don't have that "closure" from that member's death.

Reach out... im here if u need a friend...

Answer 3

I had a friend who committed suicide. She sat down in front of a train. The train conductor, I was told, looked straight into her eyes but couldn't stop the train. This was more information than I could bear, can still bear. I wish I didn't know it. I have mental images of it frequently and it has been years. You should, perhaps, be glad you were protected from the details. The closure you will get will come from working through your own feelings about the suicide, not through the details about it. Have you tried journaling your feelings and thoughts about it? I find that writing things down sorts things out and kind of exorcises them, in a way.
I hope you do find closure. It's not easy to lose a friend to suicide. Good luck, my friend.

Answer 4

I think you have just as much right to know what happened as your others friends. If they are true friends they shouldn't mind.
I would personally start off with a lead in topic to him. Such as do you remember that on time in biology you lent me your test because I didn't study. Boy did we get the brunt of that time didn't we. Remember when so or so(his name) was waiting for us all day after school while we were in detention for cheating. Man he was a true friend!! :) What ever happened to him? I really miss him.
Anything that is happy may make talking about him easlier.
Good luck, sweetie.

Answer 5

If he was a close friend, and it would mean some closure to you, I suggest you ask somebody close to you who knows more details. Since its been 6 years, its not going to be as painful for them to re-hash it as it would have been right after the suicide occurred.

I had a friend try to committ suicide, and its always a hard thing to deal with. Sometimes knowing what triggers somebody to do it gives you the empathy to help others.

Answer 6

sounds to me like you are grieveing, which is normal. I lost a very close friend the year before last, like you i thought about him everyday almost a year later. i knew how he passed though, i don't think it really matters as far as details when it comes to closure. Now, i lost both my step-brother and step-sister, as well as my father to suicide. I asked all those questions that you want to ask, and that didn't give me closure, time is what brought me closure. so in my opinion you do what makes you most comfortable.

Answer 7

My friend's husband committed suicide. It was rough on her and the girls. We talked and cried. If you want to know then ask. It may make you cry, but maybe you need to. Knowing this information is a part of getting better.

Answer 8

a regularly occurring cousin, devoid of warning. He replaced into married with 2 childrens and did the backyard hose from the tailpipe act. He left a observe saying it replaced into no one's fault, in simple terms his, that he replaced right into a failure and his spouse and childrens deserved greater helpful. My aunt continues to be torn up each birthday. they're a severe-high quality kin and she or he blames herself for no longer seeing any indicators and indications. Doug replaced into quiet all of his existence and friendly, so we never knew what replaced into taking place in his suggestions. It replaced into surprising and that i confess i replaced right into slightly indignant at him for doing what he did. The ripple effect is extraordinary. All of his siblings and cousins spent years thinking we would desire to continually have finished something. whilst Bobby Gaylor released the spoken be conscious rock piece "Suicide" it fairly hit residing house. If basically it were around whilst Doug replaced into alive. great song aimed in direction of the guy considering suicide that first pisses you off then spins around and leaves you thinking "what replaced into I thinking?" close to the tip. Bobby's gotten over a hundred thousand emails saying listening to his song prevented yet another dying.

Answer 9

i'd just ask becus the curiosity would kill me.'and stresss me more.

Answer 10

no.
D.