My mom works full-time and has a boyfriend that lives right in the condo suite across from us. The only time I get to see her is in the mornings when she comes home to drop me off at school, sometimes I see her for a second time in the day - sometimes.
All my mom talks about is marks and marks - she used to even physically abuse me, she still slaps me from time to time. Sometimes she comes home in a good mood and says "Valerie, do you want to go shopping?" I always feel that shopping isn't a good way of getting to know her even better, plus I'm always at the computer listening to music but also doing my homework. She sometimes sees me playing games or on msn, I don't even feel like moving out of my chair during 7PM at night and going to the mall when I'm tired. She throws a tantrum, then sometimes I throw one but I usually end up crying. On the other hand, she's always at the suite at her boyfriend's and I'm alone 95% of the time.
Today, I told her how I felt and she yelled at
2007-12-01 16:28:02 · 7 answers · asked by Candii Rainbow 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
me, am I a bad daughter? She also says I have a bad attitude, which is only sometimes, I admit it. I'm trying to change and I tell her that I'm trying my best, but she keeps yelling and walked out to her boyfriend's home.
Sometimes, I go over to his home to eat dinner, and I don't smile often...it makes me uncomfortable, he asks me why I am being so cold? I say no, I'm not. And he argues with me. And alot of times, I have to deal with stuff going around at school too.
My mom also discourages me alot, when I say in the future I want to be a designer, or something. She says "That is a low-class job, be a lawyer, you'll never accomplish"
2007-12-01 16:31:30 · update #1
You do not sound like a bad daughter to me. Sounds like you have a bit of depression and that may be why you do not care to go places with her and it sounds like Honestly she needs a Swift kick in the **** for even allowing one him to even argue with you at the same time You should not even in this situation be arguing with a adult. She should be spending more time with you and doing things that support you as HER daughter and she needs to put more time into the responsibility and her job as a Mom.
Do you have any other family members you can turn to? Is your Dad at all in the picture?
Maybe a grandparent or aunt? or someone you can maybe stay with?
You can try to sit and talk to her tell her you want to spend more time with her just you two. Tell her you miss her being there as a mom for you and that you know she works all day and is tired and maybe you could make plans to just the two of you spend a evening at home having dinner making it together talking, watching movies or something that will give you time to speak to her
Let her know that while you are glad she has someone in her life she cares about that you would like to have her time as well now and than.
If all that fails speak to a guidance counselor or teacher or family member you trust and can feel free to speak with.
I wish there was more I could offer believe me I know how you feel there is a young lady in my building with a mom just like yours she spends most her time here at my house because of it. sometimes sadly no amount of talking can help but remember that while these times may be tough They will make you a stronger and better person in life. Sink yourself in your studies work on getting to college and getting out on your own There are enough scholarships and loans out there that can help and you can than be off doing your own thing and making your own life and if hat means being a designer Than so be it
You have a dream with or without her YOU can accomplish that dream. I will keep you in my prayers.
2007-12-01 16:48:49 · answer #1 · answered by mylilsims 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what could be going on w/ your mom to make her act outrageously. I don't know if you might just see it as more than it really is. I do know that you feel like you are treated wrongly. I'm sorry things aren't good at home for you- but you have to make a life long choice now. Respect your mom even if she's mean. Then work your a** off at school, get good grades, go to college, and get out on your own. Then you can make sure you don't repeat your mom's mistakes with your own kids. You sound like you know what's supposed to be- and that you're not getting it. So find a way to hang on to the hope of your own future, and try to keep positive! I'll be praying for ya!
2007-12-01 16:39:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not being a bad daughter its the mother and the boyfriend. Don't feel bad about yourself.your only putting yourself down.~~ chill out ~~ relax dont sit there on the couch doing nothing, hang out with your friends and try not to think about it 24/7..I believe that your mom is under a lot of stress..It is not bad that you cant smile in front of your moms boyfriend. Who can when you have problem... ITs sad that your mom doesnt listen to how you feel.. soothe her and sometimes agree with her..shopping can actually be a good way to talk to your mom and know her better.. encourage her from time to time.. the only way to deal with this is to show her that you care and you are NOT a bad daughter that she thinks you are...wat i am tryin to say is dont feel too bad about yourself because your are not a bad daughter.. You need your mom more than ever at this time...I DO!! As i get older i realize that the relationsip with your mom is really important as a daughter...Do good at school and live a good life by gettin a good job!!..HOPE YOU GET TO TALK TO HER & TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL WITHOUT HER GETTIN MAD!
2007-12-01 16:47:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time her boyfriend asks you why you are being so cold, tell him because your mom doesn't love you and he obviously has no reason to love you, and he keeps your mom away from you 95% of the time, so where would you get any warmth?
Then go back to getting good grades and making good friends and learning to make a better life than your mother is giving you.
2007-12-01 17:45:23 · answer #4 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not a bad daughter. In fact, you don't seem bad at all. Your mother is spending way too much time with her creepy boyfriend. I don't know what is going on with your mom, but I think it is because of her so-called boyfriend. Maybe he's trying to make your mom stricter so he could control your mom and control you. Don't listen to your mom's boyfriend. My brother used to have a girlfriend who kept yelling at me for not doing what she wants me to do like give her the t.v remote control. Just step back from the situation and do what you think is right to do.
2007-12-01 16:51:12 · answer #5 · answered by Christi 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think anything you have done warrants your mother to be negelectful towards you.it just sounds like your a teenager and teenagers go through a lot of things,it just seems like your mother doesn't know how to handle certain situations sometimes and just chooses to run away from them.You might want to talk about getting your mother into counseling and seeing what the problem is and it wouldn't hurt for you to have someone to talk to as well.
2007-12-01 20:53:04 · answer #6 · answered by demonfirelife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your not a bad daughter- i have a sixteen and nineteen year old girls. it is a very hard time for girls in their teen years- i know I've seen it. your mother is a selfish ***** and you are being neglected- you should be more important then her boyfriend. is it possible to go live with your father? is there any other adult women you could talk to? aunt? grandmother? you are doing nothing wrong and you are not a bad kid- keep telling yourself that cause it doesn't sound like you have anyone to do it for you. its important that you don't buy into your mothers bullsh!t- she is wrong not you. good luck and remember nothing lasts forever.
2007-12-01 16:41:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋