raising children?

Question

Can someone please tell me how to stop yelling at my kids and getting so mad at them? Also tell me how to keep them from fighting? Thanks

Answer 1

I can't tell you a sure way to do that but I got in the habit of when I would get mad at them I make myself count to 7 and then speak. It worked because I cooled down for a few seconds before I lashed out. Also I got in the habit of smiling all of the time. Smiling makes you feel better and relieves stress. Raising children is just stressful but we only get one chance at it so we have to do the best we can. If you want your child to be sweet and loving then you have to show them that example. When I started calming down I was amazed at how well my children started behaving. When I am kind and use gentle words and tones so do they. Parents set the mood so we just have to be the best we can be. Hang in there.

Answer 2

It's really hard to stay in control. Depending on their ages you may have a hard battle. There is a great tv program on about being a nanny.....those ladies are amazing.

1) You have to be the authority. If you children are old enough to actually talk with sit them down and explain that things are going to change. Explain that from this point forward that things you say are the law. And make some rules.
time to get up, time to go to bed, how much TV, how much computer, how much text messaging, time for home work, what type of tasks each person has to do around the house.
I think that everyone should have duties and not be paid for them. An allowance is because you love them, not payment for doing something. I work around the house and I don't get paid. I do it because it has to be done and everyone is going to do something. Even small children can pick up toys, and fed the dog, set the table....etc.
2) be very sure about something BEFORE you declare it to be one of the rules. Make a list of the rules and hang it on the wall or the refrigerator. Don't declare something you cannot back up.
3) don't yell, or raise you voice. If someone doesn't want to participate then they lose tv for the evening or until they get the job done (whatever that job is) AND BACK IT UP.
If you have to take the TV or computer from their room. I personally don't think these items should be in their rooms anyway. PICK THE THING TO REMOVE THAT THEY LOVE THE BEST. That will hurt the most.
4) Make up some reward to be earned. When they preform a task for a week they get a star, or a movie or a CD or whatever would be appropriate.

5) DONT BACKSLIDE. Think out a plan, write up the rules and have the meeting and begin the program.

GOOD LUCK

And remember everyone makes a mistate from time to time even YOU. So be prepared to say,,,,I think I was wrong and I'm going to be fair and make this adjustment......etc.

I, might add that I am a believer in the POW POW, theory. You can only, quietly, say please don't do that, please, dont do that for so long and eventually you have to get their full attention. Never hit or strike when you are MAD.wait until you have cooled down...then rethink. My son tells me now that back when he was a kid, I sent him to his room many, many times to wait for me to come give him a swat and I never showed up. I guess after I cooled down it wasn't as important and in the mean time he was waiting......and suffering.

Answer 3

Dont yell and get all out of sorts. Keep a paddle, a wooden spoon, a spatula or a belt handy at all times. Sit the kids down and explain to them that the rules are going to change. Tell them that you arent going to yell anymore, ever. Let them know that if they a ss off, they are going to get spanked. The final piece here is to follow through. When then get to goofing off, misbehaving or being butts, smack those a sses. Soon, you will be more relaxed and there will be no need for yelling or getting upset. Plus, there will be no more fighting.
Now all of your Neo-hippie-tree-hugging-Dr Spock-ites would have you believe differently. These parents have children who still live at home at 30.....

Answer 4

get enough sleep at night and avoid ANY caffine..

better control over them will help.. they know they can push you and you will resort to yelling and such - oddly this is a reward to them as it is a reaction....

so be calmer and do more things with them.. as soon as they are bad - end the fun..
kids often misbehave because they feel they are not getting enough attention....
if you are yelling and getting mad (I dont know how many kids you have) I can assure you it will get worse if you keep having kids - please get your tubes tied...

fighting - ends any fun - both kids need to go to their rooms and NO back talk - punish by taking privaliges.. be firm make rules and stick to them...

Answer 5

Try this [I sometimes do this, too]:

Say outloud: "Dear God! Please do not allow me to yell at my kids anymore!!! I don't want to yell at them, but they are not listening to me!
Please help me!"

lol
Say it LOUDLY while looking "upwards" and this will usually get my kids to stop what they are doing and look at me quizzically.
:)

Once they are quiet, I will then say to them:
"Are you going to listen to me now?"

I have also tried this approach:
I say that there is a "No yelling or screaming" rule at our house... so if one of them is yelling, I quietly remind them -- AND whenever I start to yell one of my little angels will say to me:
"Mommy! We don't yell in this house, remember?"

That is usually enough to get me to stop me from yelling any further...
:)
Hope this helps :)
:)

Answer 6

Start spanking them. If they do something bad and get a spanking for it, they will try not to do it again.

Answer 7

I know you probably don't want to here this, but when my kids are misbehaving, they know I won't scream at them, I'll take them over my lap and spank their bottom. All I have to do if they're acting up is tell them "do you need a spanking?", and that usually does it.