How do I help this kid... he has mental problems?

Question

My neighbor's son did 2 tours of Iraq & it really changed him in a negative way. I knew this kid when he was growing up & his dad & I are old friends. I'm a vet & spent some time with him at his dad's request... he is nothing like he was before he left home. I found out his HV was hit by an IED & several guys wounded, but he says he wasn't hurt. I suspect he got brain damaged from the concussion... but I can't get him to go to the VA about it. This is a catch 22 situation where he has to request help & neither I nor his family can force him to seek help. How can I get something done for the kid before he hurts himself or someone else?

Symptoms: Sits & stares at nothing, never talks unless he has to. I've never discussed his tour of duty with him & got my information from his dad & ex wife. He drinks way too much & I've been told he gets mean when drunk. I've taken him fishing with me, but he has lost interest in that... it was once his passion. Actually he is no longer intrested in anything that I can tell. I don't talk much myself, but he changed from a kid that never stopped talking to one that never says anything. He's been out about 18 months.

Answer 1

Most military men are reluctant to seek help.....They are conditioned to "tough it out'.....do not be a "crybaby".... "What are you a wimp?"

He does not think he is ill. He sees no change.

I see only one option..... that might work?

I assume the kid is still in the service.....( If not the same technique will work with modifications).... convince him that it will be easier to retire with more money..... get recognition for service related injuries.....if he has a medical record of any possible injuries. Start early building a file and it will mean big money later.
What have you to lose?.....If there is nothing wrong, you lose nothing being examined.....later if something does happen......it is automatically "service related'.....and you get more money

The problem many retirees have is they have trouble the problems started from their service.

ADDITION...
Out 18 months......Obviously he has no intention of making the military a career....but there will come a day when he might need the VA......not every injury.....exposure to toxins....etc Are immediately known...... encourage him to get a full in depth medical exam......and sneak in a psych eval......give the doctor a heads up on his character change......at the very least the doctor can recommend a recovery program.....

I suffer PTSD.....it took me a LONG time to recognize and admit I needed help......"Been there; Done that"

Answer 2

It is an precise intellectual sickness, and I individually get disappointed whilst folks query this sort of factor, despite the fact that I do get your factor. I have melancholy, and while you say the ailments that are meant to be dealt with through meds are those you could have had for 10 years is utterly unfair. Depression explanations an lack of ability to role in every day lifestyles and it impacts the lives of the folks in relationships with that sufferer of melancholy. There is not any motivation to do some thing. All you wish to do is sleep and also you cannot recognition on some thing due to the fact that of that little voice to your head telling you the entire unhealthy matters in lifestyles. For me, it felt like the arena honestly bought darker and visually uglier and whilst I began therapy it brightened up somewhat bit. Recently the whole thing has emerge as a drag and darkish once more, without a motivation to do some thing. This wasn't intended to bash you or some thing, simply seeking to provide an outlook from a 14 yr ancient who has had melancholy for 7 years.

Answer 3

Brain damage from IED explosions is a big issue in the military right now. Recently the VA and the military have started testing everyone who has been in Iraq or Afghanistan for brain damage due to IED's. They probably didnt test youe friends son for that due to this being such a recent concern.
If you tell him that everyone is being tested for it whether they are a veteran or still serving ( I am in Iraq right now and was tested for it before coming over here) he may be more inclined to go to the VA to be tested for brain injury. Also, if he gets checked out for PTSD that would be good too.

Answer 4

Hey... former Vietnam Combat Vet here. In my situation, I never realized the extent to which that fiasco effected me until years later when I had the opportunity to participate in a rap-group with a bunch of other combat vets.

In particular, I had a sense of "survivors guilt" because I served on an Ammo Ship in the Tonkin Gulf, and was not in as much immediate danger as my "brothers" in the bush. I also felt extremely betrayed by the American public and the American politico for their "desertion" in a time of war. [ Oh, excuse me... it was ONLY a "conflict". ] Mental wounds are sometimes harder to detect or accept than physical wounds.

My recommendation? Just be there for this kid; be a friend and confidant, more than trying to diagnose him or convince him of his "condition". If he discusses any specific suicidal or homicidal ideation, then he may be a "mental health risk", and could / should be evaluated by a mental health professional.

The Veterans Administration has recently established a 24/7 Suicide Hotline where you could get further advice or assistance.

Thanks for your service, and for your continuing service to those who served.

Answer 5

Everyone is effected in a diffrent way. I was hit by more than my share of IEDs in both HMMWVs and in my Bradly and I am just fine. In fact, one veh I was in was blow in two. I was hit in the back of the head my somthing heavy and had not only a concusion but a punctured skull. I recovered and went back out on mission. I have also knowen a few guys that had lite tramma and much worse reactions. If you are really worried you can call the "US Army Wounded Warrior Program" at 1-800-237-1336 and ask them for infromation and help. The bottom line is, if he needs help you may have to get it for him. Its natural for a soldier to act as if nothing is wrong. But if you think somthing is than act on it. I hope this helps.

Answer 6

You say he might have brain damage from a concussion. You also don't list any symptoms which lead to that conclusion. It's just possible that he doesn't want to talk about his combat experiences at all. That's completely normal. You can send me a message via my profile with more details. That might help clarify the situation and I'll try and provide some guidance.

Answer 7

Unfortunately, like you say he has to ask for help to get it from the VA. If I were you I would try to get him involved with the VA by registering for Disability and becoming eligible for health care benefits through the VA. Make him see that he has benefits that he earned and should be getting. Let him know that the VA health care can augment any other health care plan he has so that if he gets sick or injured, he at least has another option available for treatment. Maybe if you press the benefits instead of insisting that there is something wrong with him you can get him through the door and then when he goes there he'll have contact with transition services and other vets. Good luck and tell him another old vet said to tell him thanks for serving our country!

Answer 8

How long has he been back home? It may take some time to adjust back to civilian lifestyle.
I would suggest trying to get him to a doctor...it probably would be better to have his family get him to go. I'm sure if it was suggested in the right way that they are concerned for his well being and maybe went with him he would go.
Your very nice trying to help out but if worse comes to worse and he is a threat to himself or others his family can get him in a hospital.