My husband of 2.5 years was diagnosed with depression 2 weeks ago. Since then he has been telling me (for the 1st time) that his feelings for me have changed and that he is not sure he wants to continue with the marriage. Is this something anyone else has heard of or experienced as being part of the depression? I really dont know whether to take him seriously or not. Thanks!
2007-12-01 13:59:21 · 4 answers · asked by lucy m 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
This is a very difficult question and situation. Many times, once we're told that we have a diagnosis of depression, we may respond to this by trying to make sense of the diagnosis; in other words, trying to find something situational to blame it on. This is especially true for men because, unfortunately we don't really give them permission to have feelings much less feel depressed. We need to know if he's been prescribed medication and if so just WAIT and see how he feels once that takes effect (this could take four to six weeks.) Because of the stigma associated with a mental health diagnosis, many people deny this illness and literally 'look around' for some other possible explanation. If he is clinically depressed, he can blame you all he wants, leave you, win the lottery and still feel depressed of course. Please buy some time here for both your sakes.
On the other hand if you have a tendency to be very critical of your marriage partner and have a contemptuous demeanor toward him, then you have some work to do as well. Please see Gottman's work on marriage as well as Burns on depression. Counseling would be in order as well of course.
2007-12-01 14:21:44 · answer #1 · answered by teachpeacelove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a person is in the midst of a depression, it is best not to make huge life changing decisions, since judgment is so clouded by the depression and negativity. There is not much you can do if he persists, but he might be very sorry if he follows through and when the depression is better realizes what a mistake he made.
2007-12-01 22:09:10 · answer #2 · answered by oleo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is important to take it seriousy and if i were you i would talk to him and address where this is coming from , when in depression it tends to spread over most of all aspects of your life when you view everything negatively and pick everything negative that you can from any situation.
there may be a number of reasons that he said this to you as mentioned by someone above it could be because of the marriage, think critically about it yourself and think about what has changed since you got together, when he was a happier person in comparison to what the situation was just before and in his early stages of depression, think about al the family things that may have changes, relationships wise, attention wise, job wise, all of these aspects to help pinpoint the trigger.
alternatively your husband may feel that his depression is bringing you down and that you do not deserve with having to deal with it, he may feel worthless as a person and that he does not deserve to be loved. if you love him than let him know that you are there to support him no matter what and that you think he is still the same person that you fell in love with, try and help and encourage him to participate in things together that used to make you happy
2007-12-01 22:18:25 · answer #3 · answered by chunga 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe hes depressed b/c of the marriage, i would take it serious if i were u
2007-12-01 22:07:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋