Anytime i am interested in a girl, it turns out to end in a friendship insted of a relationship?

Question

ok this is a huge deal, i havent had a girlfriend in the past four years because of this. i promise im not gay or anything, i just have that quality about me i suppose that girls like to be my friends but not my girlfriend. any suggestions on how to get out of this rut?

okay thanks for the responses i really appriciate them but i know how to flirt and everything i think my problem maybe that i dont know how to take it to the next step, im only 18 so obv. i have close to no experience. any suggestions on how to make a move?

Answer 1

9 times out of 10 when girls just wanna be your friend, it's because they are not attracted to you. Time to make changes.

When you're serious about it, recruit some girls to help with giving you a makeover. If you don't have older sister/s go to supercuts and ask the chicks there what style to suggest. Enlist the help of thse girls who are friends to point you in the right direction for clothes. Pick out some photos of celebrity guys that girls think are hot and you could believably be transformed to resemble. Set attainable goals.

My friends and I gave my highschool brother and a few of his friends makeovers. We even blonde-tipped his spikey hair! He used to have as many girlfriends as Britney Spears has undies. Now, he's got more confidence and girls are calling him for the first time in his life!

Answer 2

Do you know how to flirt? It's an important social skill and one that will distinguish your interest in someone as being romantic vs. just friendly. I remember being just friends with some guys who I thought were cute, but who never set off that romantic spark, because they were so low key about their interest. They never made that lingering eye contact, so there was never a chance for me flirt with them, either. We ended up being "just friends," which isn't always a bad thing (and after several years, I'm still friends with some of them; and some of them have told me how much they liked me "back then," and I am thinking, "Well, you sure didn't show it! I was waiting for a sign! I would never have guessed!") Maybe you're in that low-key, non-flirting category?

If you're interested in someone, try flirting. You may feel a little awkward about it at first, and you may not be smooth with it at first, but everyone has to start somewhere! Be brave and get started! You can just smile and make eye contact. If the girl smiles back, then up the ante--laugh! If she asks what you're laughing about, just say you can't tell her! That's kind of an invitation from you for her to move in and try to make you tell her! If she does, then that's a signal back from her to you. Now you're off and running, and I bet once you are, the next steps will just come naturally. Keep the ball rolling--if she's laughing, ask her what she's laughing about! Laughing and eye contact get the heart beating faster and the romance chemicals started and can ignite whatever feelings are under the surface. If someone breaks off eye contact, or stops laughing, game over. If there are no sparks, well, at least you checked out the possibilities. Better luck next time. Flirting done right is mutually respectful and harmless fun!

If you're not sure what to do, watch guys you respect who are more successful with the girls and try out some of their moves. Or see what the girls do, and adapt them to the guy side of things. Mostly it's about making eye contact, smiling, giving attention, and sometimes touch--you know, the kind where when you laugh at something she says, just spontaneously reach out and touch her arm, like she's so funny you have to almost steady yourself by reaching out to her! Don't invade her space, though--one subtle touch, and if she's interested, she'll let you know.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Well you said you haven't had a girlfriend for 4 years, meaning you have some experience in the field. I have that problem too, getting in the dread "friend zone".

My only advice is when you meet a girl you know you like from the get-go, you make a good first impression, as to get to know her better at first. Soon, when you feel you know her as an acquaintance, and nothing much more, you can try to take it a little further than friends, or just stay friends, you decide what to do.

All I advise is that you try to not come on too strong on the girl on a first impression. Of course, this varies from girl to girl. What may seem as being too strong, may be just enough for another girl, leaving you as a target of attraction.

So be careful, don't make the same mistakes I did, and good luck on finding your dream girl.

Answer 4

I wonder if you would have better luck if you didn't try to "make friends" first with a girl. I know this seems counter-intuitive, but if you become friends she may just categorize you as such and not want to make the change to a romantic relationship, possibly because she likes you as a friend and doesn't want to ruin it, or she is already past the point of thinking of you in that way (not to say that friendships never turn into romantic relationships, but you don't really know if they will or not until the passage of time). Also, you may be making friends with girls that wouldn't be interested in you as a romantic partner anyway, so you expend a lot of effort being friends and then are disappointed when they don't see you that way.

If you start out by making it obvious that you are interested in them romantically, you can skip that. When you first express your interest, make sure it's in a romantic way. Ask her to dinner somewhere romantic. Bring flowers. Compliment her. Treat it as a date, not a friendly get-together. I'm not saying you should come on to strong, but you may be expressing "friend, casual" vibes instead of making it clear that you're interested romantically. If she's not interested in you romantically, she'll also have to make that clear early on because you'll both know where it's going. She will start off from the beginning considering you as a potential romantic interest, and not as a "nice guy" who is just a friend. I think many women look for quite different qualities in friends versus in romantic partners (whether they are conscious of this or not).

If a guy treats me in a friendly way, I don't assume he is interested in me, and if it later becomes clear that he was only interested romantically all along, but was treating me as a friend, it's somewhat offputting.

Answer 5

From the VERY beginning, you must establish a romantic connection. Don't try to start as friends. Start as potential mates. Flirt with her take her on dates compliment her etc. If she seems resistant to this or uncomfortable, then she is not interested. Move on or if you want stay just friends. But honestly, from the very beginning, you will know if a girl is romantically interested or not. Of course some girls flirt with all guys, stay away from those types. You must must must make it clear that you are interested in her beyond just friends. And keep the spark up dont let things get too comfortable or boring. Girls love surprises and gifts. You can look into a girls face and know if she likes you or not. If she seems a little shy thats a good sign. If she smiles at you thats a good sign. If she laughs a lot at your jokes good sign. If she likes to touch your arm etc good sign. If she makes efforts to be close to you good sigh. I hope this helped

Answer 6

I think you're making girls feel way too comfortable around you. When a girl becomes too comfortable with a guy, the guy somehow ends up becoming one of the "girls" rather than a guy which you obviously are. Start showing that you actually are a "guy" and not one of the "girls".

I'm not exactly sure what you're doing to give out that kind of vibe. Are you giving girls advise about ANOTHER guy that they're interested in, when clearly you're the one interested in her? Are you there for the girl all the time whenever she calls?

If so, I think you should stop. =)
Some girls get turned off from having a guy ALWAYS available whenever they need them.

Good Luck!

Answer 7

If you think you could end up liking the girl, be more flirty in the beginning. Chances are you are doing the friend thing from the start. If you do that, then you are bound to make only friends with them.

But keep in mind that you have a *gift.* Not many guys can do that. Being a girls firend is major and if she is meant for you then, she will end up liking you anyways.

Answer 8

Its all about confidence and needy-ness. If a girl feels you are to needy but still enjoys your company she will most likely stick you in the friend cateogory. They probably like talking with you or hanging out but feel if they were involved you would be you know "whii-pish".
I'm a woman and I really think this guys logic is right on (where as most guys are just egotistical and well retarded), if you feel up to it I would check out his website and read some of his logic. www.ideagasms.com (you don't have to sign up to enter just fyi)

Answer 9

I guess I could just say you haven't met the right one, but that won't help much. I don't know your age, but girls find guys attractive who are a bit cocky and self-assured without being arrogant. Plus funny and a little mysterious....as if they are hard to pin down, or figure out. Maybe you are obviously too "needy" and that is a turn off...if you suspect a guy just wants anyone and isn't very discriminating about who he dates then it isn't very flattering.

Answer 10

Haven't had a guy cook for me yet that cooks better than me but I will say it is a nice gesture when a guy does. It can be a bit of turn on but not as much as one that does dishes and household chores in his briefs.